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53 M Bristol, United Kingdom

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 8:16am
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Full figured
Mostly vegan
Atheism, and very serious about it
Dropped out of high school
Science / Engineering
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
English (Fluently), French (Okay)

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My self-summary
Spring 2014, and with my brugmansias showing promise after such a mild winter, it looks like I'm doing less cycling and more gardening this year.
(My garden is a shrine to the tropical, spectacularly fragrant and delightfully toxic solanaceae.)

Apologies for the somewhat clichéd "man of action" bias in the photos - OKC deleted the photos of my garden - but here are some :-

This year's experiment is a couple of 270 degree wall baskets to add a much-needed injection of colour at height via a trailing begonia and a fuchsia.
I resisted it until the last because I find hanging baskets more than a little twee - but these are fixed and integrated into my acreage of passionflower and Virginia creeper so can be rationalised as "epiphytes in the canopy".
I'm also somewhat apprehensive about how much watering they will require.


As for the dating thing, well after ten years alone, half of those with an OKC account, I don't hold out much hope, but if you're interested, you won't actually have to read the whole thing to confirm your suspicions.
(I persist with this nonsense because I feel the need to be able to say that at least I made an effort to share my life.)

---------------------------- 1 ---------------------------------

I challenge anyone to show me a more unusual start to a list of "non-negotiables" (/irony) ...

This is not even the sort of music I listen to very much of the time these days, but along with several other pieces of Early 20th century English "classical" music it got into my very "soul" when I was in my early teens. To be honest, like far too much music, it's a bit too emotional for me at the moment.

But it could almost be "my tune." and I can't imagine a relationship with someone unmoved by it.
(Some may point to the "dark satanic mills" being painted out of the picture in this piece of music composed around the time of WW1 by someone relatively well-off..)

Still interested ?
Let's start with the practicalities ...

---------------------------- 2 ---------------------------------

Do you live within reasonable mutual cycling distance (15 miles) of east Bristol ?

Being realistic, I mean Bristol (preferably) or Bath, plus anywhere adjacent to the railway path.
I'm not looking for a long distance relationship / friendship - unless you're a French speaker wishing to do online language exchange. (with things in common to talk about.)

----------------------------- 3 ------------------------------

Are your leanings Green / Left/ libertarian / atheist ?
(No God, gods, UFOs, ghosts, past lives, voodoo, homoeopathy etc)

----------------------------- 4 ------------------------------

Do you enjoy the outdoors; sleeping under canvas; messing about in or on the sea; gardening / self-sufficiency, ?
(If you have a shoe fetish, it will be for walking boots, and you will prefer the smell of nature to synthetic "fragrances")

----------------------------- 5 ------------------------------

Music, rather than literature or film or the visual arts has always been an essential accompaniment to my life and I would want to share this with a partner - so hopefully there will be a healthy overlap in our tastes. (exhaustive details below).

A long shot ... if in addition, you spent at least some time over the past couple of decades dancing all night to "repetitive beats" as defined in the CJA of 1994 - or were there in spirit, we should definitely at least compare notes.

To be honest, though it was a friendly scene, being in my late 30s it never gave me a social life, and I foresee that in the future I will need to develop a liking for Breton folk dancing. . :-)

----------------------------- 6 ------------------------------

Are you a regular cyclist or hope to become one ?
Perhaps a two-wheeled commuter who would like to try longer rides (as I was only a few years ago) . If you're into speed, you'll find me rather slow - I like to chat and stop for tea and cake !

If you got this far, the next bit will surely scupper my already listing ship, but it's not something I want to spring on someone later.

----------------------------- 7 ------------------------------

Parles-tu français - au moins un peu ?

What spurred me to try OKC again was reaching 50 and having occasion to consider myself as a future "retiree" for the first time, (ironic "LOL") and the subsequent realisation that In about 7 years' time, I should be able to sell my rat-infested hovel in the UK and move to within cycling distance of the French Atlantic coast (quite likely the Quimper area of SW Finistère) and have enough land to grow my own veggies, coppice my own trees, generate my own electricity, recycle all the things you can't in a small terraced house, and learn to swim properly, dive, surf, canoe and probably sail - as well as lots more cycling, hiking and camping and simply sitting on the beach.

I naturally want to share this with a kindred spirit - but I also need to make the most of the next 7 years...


I fell in love with France when I twice visited for a month in my teens, I've always had French colleagues, and listen to French radio - which gives ours a serious run for its money.
Though I haven't owned a passport since 1976 !

Initially, having to drag my neglected French towards eventual fluency seemed too much like hard work, but it quickly became part of the attraction - along with being forced to give the human race another go - through needing to get to know people from a different culture - though not all that different.
I have romantic notions of making myself useful in the local community as a replacement for what I do at work - though I wouldn't rule out actual paid work as a way of integrating.

It will be a challenge moving from a city and a job where I mix with very diverse people, to the very different rhythm of country life.
(Perhaps for purely misguided reasons I believe I would fit in better there than in the UK countryside)

-------------------- Et maintenant, en français-----------------------

Pourquoi suis-je ici ?

Malgré avoir choisi d'etre né et a vivre en Bristol ces 53 ans - une des cités les plus agréables, j'ai jusqu'à présent, échoué de rencontre ma complice pour la reste de ma vie.

J'espere a me deplacer dans la campagne Bretonne (sud ouest de Quimper ? ) dans environs 7 ans, donc en attendant, puisque je dois ameliorer mon français, je serais aussi très heureux de trouver un partenaire linguistique francophone avec des intérêts similaires. (Mon anglais est assez bon, espérant à offrir en échange!)

------------------- Online Dating -------------------

I would much rather meet someone in real life - though since I've had an Internet presence for 20 years, I always thought I might meet someone this way ...

Though not through the contrivances that Internet dating sites invariably are.

Most of them seem to be little more than random flirting zones - where even if one takes the trouble to produce a profile, bizarrely incompatible** people will send you messages.
(**well, so far as one can tell from a couple of lines of txt-spk mostly describing their hair colour)

The one attached to a UK broadsheet which I actually bought occasionally in the days when I read newspapers (pre-Internet - mostly for the TV guide), features profiles which read like professional CVs, and which make me feel I should start working for my MBA before even thinking of contacting anyone.

Then there's the weird culty one with the passive-aggressive TV adverts and the interminable psych tests.
They said they couldn't do anything for me (I suspect this was more to do with my left-wing politics and atheism than with the ambivalent way in which I of necessity answered most of the questions).
In retrospect I am hugely relieved that I was ineligible.

Refreshingly friendly though this site is, the whole exercise is ultimately a waste of time, due to the ridiculously tiny sample of the local population with profiles here - which is why people thousands of miles distant may find me looking at their profiles - whether friends or enemies - and sometimes the local competition.

--------------------- Me ---------------------------

According to a couple of online "Myers Briggs" personality tests I took many years ago when the Internet was fairly new and I had the patience for such things, I score as INTJ - or "The Vulcan".
And only the other day, on hearing this, someone who I'd previously credited with a lot more perception said - "oh that explains why you need to be alone...."

No, it means that I can survive being alone more easily than most - but only just - and there are lots of people who appear to be actually at peace with their solitary lives in a way that I am not.

I function perfectly well in my human interactions at work, but
have always struggled with (male) friendships - I dislike sport and recreational drinking (yes I know that's a huge cliché) and even when there is a common interest such as cycle touring, we always seem to run out of things to talk about.

I have loved, and been loved, and though the relationships were ill-advised and fated, I experienced happiness I have not done subsequently - through having someone else's ideas and feelings to consider - and simply sharing the day to day mundane aspects of life.

During this most recent 10 years alone, more than once I've speculated on whether I would take a magic pill if offered that would stop me longing for companionship.

I'm rather blunt here and there, but I'm not into "flirting" and "recreational dating" based only on appearance and hedonism - there are plenty of "Hot or Not ?" phone apps for that sort of thing - and presumably traditional "bars" to "hang around" in...



Perhaps we could imagine we bumped into each other (painlessly) in the Atlantic surf ?

Such a shame we didn't meet in the late 90s during my dancing days - I might still be dancing if I'd met someone to make it mean something.

And I can't resist posting this one. My younger brother who's into Sibelius, mathematics, skinny bikes and carefully-maintained pedalling cadences can't understand how one can cycle and listen to music at the same time (whereas I never leave home without music) .. but this album is what has got me the 9 miles home up the Railway Path from Saltford station several times recently at sufficient speed to wake me with cramp at 4am. :-

I confess it doesn't always suit a sustained sprint - and at times it's more like riding a horse over rough ground - but that describes the railway path and my riding style quite well - especially uphill - and I'm happy to take my cue from the music. :-)

It's the sort of thing that could persuade me to learn Spanish - and have another try at partner dancing, but probably not horse riding.

-------------------------- DIET ----------------

I was a dietary vegan throughout my 20s and 30s, (never seen "Star Wars", never eaten in a fast food place) but thanks to Ray Mears and Hugh Fearlessly Eatsitall, and a desire to be more sociable, in my early 40s I started dabbling in fish (At least /attempting/ to catch one first was a prerequisite I set myself), and latterly French cheese and free range eggs (I've always had far more of a moral problem with dairy and eggs) , but my diet is still nearly always vegan and I could happily eat tofu and salad sprouts all day ...It's quite possible that I will revert (I dream of looking more like an Okinawan and less like a Tongan !) I like sushi and do nearly all my cooking in a wok, but I pick and mix.

I'm not a "social" drinker .. sadly it's almost always solitary - most nights - therefore "often" - but in moderation - 1 glass a night - and only ever as an accompaniment to food ... I like half decent southern French red wine - Cotes du Rhône, Saint-Émilion etc - though it brings the associated danger of cheese.
(not good for the waistline and I always had more moral issues with dairy than fish)
A lot of my excess calories actually come from those not-so-innocent smoothies...
What I’m doing with my life
Improving my French - and worrying that I may need to learn some Breton while not having a Celtic bone in my body and not speaking any Welsh in spite of living within cycling distance of Wales all my life.

Clearing out my rat-infested hovel so I can do it up a bit and sell it in 7 years' time and escape to France.

----------------------- cycling ---------------------

I get a shiver down my spine at how close I came to not cycling - or in effect taking any regular exercise at all.

In spite of being a whole-food vegan from 21, I was 27 when I was actually forced onto non-motorised two wheels, 36 before I got super fit due to the rave scene, and 49 before I stopped putting the bike away when I got home from work !
My scrawny adolescent nerd self would be amazed at how I now spend my free time .

I'm no Lycra warrior, and mostly only a mid-distance, mid-speed plodder, but I try to cycle 365 days a year - averaging 100 miles a week for the better half of the year - commuting, shopping, group rides with the Bristol CTC, two day camping trips and sometimes just for the exercise and chasing the sunshine. I'm hoping to build up to multi-week touring.
I'm striving to find real enjoyment in climbing hills, and most days will sprint for a mile or two - testing the pain barrier, but I wouldn't be seen dead in a gym and I hate "sport" of all kinds (I'll watch bits of the TDF, but largely for the scenery - the riding itself is insane and the rest of the year I wonder why I watched it) and have never in 25 years of cycling set out without music to listen to, and until recently wouldn't go for a ride unless there was a specific destination and a "purpose" for going.

I have a hankering to eventually be able to shed the wheels sometimes and take up walking / hiking /running.
A few days' walking to work during a period of snow and ice confirmed that my muscles have become too optimised for cycling.

--------- non-human-powered transport -------

At 24, after 7 years of motorcycling, having been horrified by a trial driving lesson a few years earlier, I bought a Reliant 3 wheeler and taught myself to drive one evening in 1984, but long distance driving sends me to sleep and I use motorised transport - even as a passenger - only when there's no other option. I've owned or part-owned 6 motorcycles, 5 cars and 5 bicycles.

The car adverts on TV baffle me.

The older I get, the more cars look like mobility scooters - but usually with non-disabled people driving them.
(There is a sad convergence - though it's mostly psychological)
The craziest feature of this era is children being driven to school in armoured cars, and recreational shopping that makes Sunday traffic on suburban roads look like the trunk roads did during the rush hour when I was a kid.
I’m really good at
Inventing stuff.

Gardening :-

My preference is for for form and fragrance and a restrained palette of colours.
Oh and I'm a bit of an amateur botanist / plantophile.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm built like a brick outhouse - though hopefully I move with a little more grace - due to my daily hour (minimum) of cycling to music and having done a lot of dancing of the improvised variety.
My wardrobe is as minimalist as I can manage - and I don't own a suit or a tie. I aim to be able to dress in the dark !
There is only one setting on my washing machine.
I fully subscribe to the modern design principle that form should follow function and I hope to always be ready to jump on my bike at a moment's notice.

My bathroom has only Body Shop shower gel, fragrance-free deodorant and fennel toothpaste and is not a room in which I spend much time.

I have only recently learned that most people get BO and so I'm something of a genetic freak - probably carrying the ABCC1 gene variant .. so not only do I not pong if I work up a sweat, I'm very sensitive to strong odours - and hyperosmia always presages an oncoming cluster headache that thankfully I don't seem to get any more - though they've been replaced by sinusitis.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I learned to read incredibly easily, but it's been downhill since then. I haven't read a book in years.
As one who has missed out on human company, I often find the themes distressing.
Most notably I read "Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance several times, most of the William Gibson "Cyberpunk" novels, and I once read Dickens's Hard Times" during a very brief dalliance in the Social Sciences - as well as "1984" and "Brave New World" ..

I even managed to fail my English O level the first time (I got an A in French), and ungraded in English Lit (I enjoyed "To Kill a Mockingbird", but "Romeo and Juliet"- yuck ! -).
I once bought a copy of "Ulysses" in the doomed hope that I could learn to love literature as much as music, but found it just as suffocating and depressing as if it had been conventional in form.

Since I'm learning French, I bought a copy of "Le Nez Qui Voque" a few years back after hearing a very abridged and atmospheric reading on "France Culture", but I haven't got very far - I certainly won't be reading any Camus or Sartre.

I occasionally enjoy radio drama and book readings.


I dislike "movies" - apart from the likes of classics like "Inherit The Wind", "12 Angry Men", "To Kill a Mockingbird". or "Goodbye Mr. Chips" and inevitably as a Francophile I like Tati and Pagnol (with someone to hold my hand I might be able to cope with watching "Jean de Florette" a second time) I've never seen "Star Wars" or "Indiana Jones" and have no plans to.


In terms of non-factual TV, I used to like detective series - "Morse", "Law and Order", "CSI", etc, - though the subject matter is ultimately too disturbing for me.
In spite of being squeamish, I watched every "House" episode more than once, and embarrassingly fall back on Star Trek TNG & Voyager and latterly "Big Bang Theory" for comfort fodder.
I'm on the cusp of seeing if I can live without endless repeats of "Time Team" and "Air Crash Investigation" and thereby slim down my cable package. (The programmes classed as "factual" on the Discovery channels would be laughable if it wasn't such a scary reflection on the beliefs of the average American)
French TV doesn't so far seem worth the expense ... their speech radio on the other hand sometimes makes even Radio 4 seem a bit naff.


"Shows" LOL
I was actually once dragged out to see "Coco Cabana" and didn't actually hate it.
I saw a fair few Shakespeare, Ibsen and Chekhov plays at the Old Vic one year so at least am familiar with the experience of theatre.
I find Shakespeare too sexist, racist, crude and violent - spectacular though the word-play may be. (perhaps there are also too many words - I'm not keen on Mozart either)

----------------------------- music ------------------------------------

"One good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain"

For me it's like being on a drip. It helps keep me sane, it helps me zone-out the traffic noise drifting over from the main roads as I cycle to work and back - as well as being worth a few extra MPH.
If I didn't share an office I would have it playing 24 hours a day.

I have observed that those people who claim in their profiles to "like all sorts of music", generally don't actually have a clue about how diverse music is.

I was raised on the likes of Vaughan Williams and Ravel parents were seriously into singing (madrigals, lieder) and made me join a church choir (I soon did a runner) ... I even "played" the clarinet as a child, and briefly attempted to play "jazz" later, but I have absolutely no talent for making music ...but I can generally make some sort of vocalisation in tune.
I don't mind a bit of Bach - or perhaps EARLY Mozart, but full-on classical and worse still "romantic" music with its German drinking songs leaves me cold.

In the 70s, encountering Motown, Pink Floyd, punk (a fairly brief dalliance in my late teens) and especially dub reggae changed my tastes for ever.

Hearing "King Tubby Meets Rockers Uptown" on John Peel in 1977 was pivotal. :-

My favourite vocal album is Joni Mitchell's "The Hissing of Summer Lawns" which I have been known to sing along with in its entirety. (Ironic since its narrative is not something I would relate to in literature or film)

These days it's mostly "ambient electronica" - which probably means so much more to me because I spent many Saturday nights dancing myself skinny at local raves in the late 90s.

I feel incredibly spoiled these days.
Those of us who enjoyed minimal / avant-garde/electronic music in the 70s and 80s used to have to really scrape around for it - we had Tangerine Dream, Steve Reich, even resorting to the instrumental bits of Genesis albums ....

"Deep Mix Moscow" radio is my daily cycling soundtrack :-

The nearest to a full-on "rave experience" these days is when I'm sprinting home slightly uphill on the railway path with Orbital or deep House on the cans.

Doing it to a samba beat is a particular pleasure :-

Aphex Twin :-
Orbital :-
LTJ Bukem :-
Basic Channel :-

Electronica; dub; jazz; reggae; Joni Mitchell; worldbeat; dance; Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan; Orbital; Basic Channel; Augustus Pablo; AphexTwin; KingTubby; Culture; Miles Davis; Hendrix; ambient; Basic Channel; Goa Trance; techno; Ulrich Schnauss; stax; motown; soul; LTJ Bukem; Larry Heard; Andy Sheppard; Boards of Canada; TheOrb; garage; Pink Floyd; MC Solaar; Cocteau Twins; Soul II Soul; Stanley Clarke; John Martyn; Disco; house; Drum&Bass; detroit; Jeff Mills; Keith Jarrett; Weather Report; Airto Moreira; Linton Kwesi-Johnson; stax; motown; cheb mami; steve hillage; MC Conrad


(select, right-click, choose "open link")

I spent my late 30s dancing by myself in Bristol (at the back of the room wearing earplugs). I came to the "rave" scene very late. My ears were at the time attuned largely to modern jazz and the early UK rave music had sounded like massed Stylophones... and then there was all that driving around the M25 - all totally alien to me. Then I heard the Aphex Twin on late one night Radio 3 , and also noticed the legal "repetitive beats" events that were happening within walking distance.

I never met my dance partner in this "vibrant" city of 400,000.

By the time I turned 40, the scene had soured and I'd had enough of paying £10 or more to spend a few hours in a smoke-filled room with a load of boozed-up youngsters.

So I returned to my gardening and since then have had to dance at home - or in my head.
Mostly I "dance" on my bike at 15MPH. (I see a lot of my cycling as some sort of dancing or meditation.)

I tried several different Salsa classes, but found it cheesy and contrived out of the context of Cuba (maybe I was also too unhappy) ... I prefer slightly moody samba influences in my jazz and dance music.

I managed half a lesson of Lindy (the instructor was built like Wayne Sleep, but just a little more elastic) and CeRoc (I did a runner from both after half an hour - after the latter I was reeking of cheap perfume - the venue with its keg beer should have given me a clue )

I repeatedly wonder about Zumba, but it seems a bit too much like line dancing, and then there's "urban street dance", but to be honest, I can't see myself fitting in...

I reckon I just need to find the right partner - and give real meaning to the dance.


I lack any great enthusiasm for cooking, but I know what to do with vegetables.
I mostly cook in a wok. I like "oriental" / Mediterranean - but in the main quite simple / bland food - I splosh tahini about liberally.
I make my own heavily seeded wholemeal bread and spread crunchy PNB and Vitam-R yeast extract on it.
I'm very particular about my tea and coffee too - Oolong blend during the week at work, Guatemala single estate on weekends (Aeropress inverted method) I'll settle for an Earl Grey teabag when out on a Sunday bike ride.
The six things I could never do without
Difficult to put these first three in order :-

1. Music - I quite often take FOUR MP3 players with me - two of them are phones - though I never actually make or accept any calls.
2. Bicycle
3. The Internet

4. I would like to say "The Atlantic ocean", but I rarely get to see it - let alone mess around in/on it - hopefully to be corrected in "retirement".
I'm taking daily access to at least a token amount of nature as a given. (as well as oxygen, water, food etc)

5. A loaf of (home made) bread, a jug of wine (French red)
6. And thou - currently missing and who would hopefully move a lot nearer number 1....
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Can man live on spuds, sprouts, tahini and cranberry sauce alone ?

I've known since shortly after I first studied basic thermodynamics at school aged 11, that we were all going to hell in a handcart, so the best I can do is minimise my contribution - but even with my frugal lifestyle, I'm consuming at least twice my share.
It's a key reason I never wanted to raise children.
There was a brief period in my early 30s when I thought "sod it" and started saving for a Harley Davidson - thankfully I changed my mind and started saving instead for a retirement where I hope to be as off-grid and self-sufficient as possible.

------------------------- beliefs ----------------

I'm a libertarian - albeit rather modest in my own decadent indulgences, and my primary "political" motivation (small "P") is as an environmentalist and a pacifist, and though I lack revolutionary fervour, tests tell me I'm also very "left wing".

Having got the "spiritual quest" out of my system in my 20s, "atheist" fits better than "agnostic" (I'll waste money on small prize lottery tickets, but I don't feel the need to hedge my bets on the god(s) front )- ditto homoeopathy, UFOs and the like.
On a typical Friday night I am
Discussing anarchy and kittens on Urban75
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I doubt there's much left ...

Incredibly during the course of my 53 years, there were two very different women who actually wanted to spend significant amounts of time with me - so I have something resembling a learning curve - though the last time was ten years ago.

So I don't have any "baggage" in the conventional sense. The relationships were doomed, and I was at least as culpable as they were in getting involved and lacking the strength to end them long before I did.

I consider one mistake in my 20s to be forgiveable, perhaps the second in my early 40s because I'd been alone so long, but there can be no FOURTH attempt.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 45–55
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Please don't contact me even if we have a lot in common if you're more than an hour away by bike unless of course you just want an online friend.

The exception would be a fluent French speaker who would like to exchange conversation (French and English) via Skype and with whom I have sufficient in common to make conversation meaningful.