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Agape4You

48 M Washington, DC

I’m looking for

  • Everybody
  • Ages 25–53
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 3:58pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly vegetarian
Smokes
Trying to quit
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Offspring
Has a kid, and might want more
Pets
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Russian (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Lately, I've been pretty much of a slacker. I am an aging, Harvard educated, ex-workaholic from the software industry type of slacker. I really love software.

Wait, I'm learning no one reads these things. Let's get a few things straight: I'm a socialist; I'm not old fashioned; I really don't drive a car; I'm still nerdy; I'm overtly and openly very kinky; I'm a hopeless homebody and really do shop and cook every day, because I eat a restricted diet; while I love the occasional truly delightful dining experience, I don't take people out to dinner for fun (let's do something else!); and I'm sorry, while I LOVE to talk and brainstorm on meaningful topics, I find most polite small talk with most people, men or women, pretty stressful and quite boring at the same time (so let's cut through the mustard, huh?).
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Now, if you actually still want to know something about me, I can be long winded, but here goes... I majored in Philosophy, and software is making ideas work on machines - a kind of applied philosophy! Being a closet socialist bohemian in capitalist social circles, I always gravitated to the fringe, newer, riskier parts of the software industry, and fell in love quickly with tech startups - way before it was cool or considered a way to make a fortune. I just did it for the thrill, risk, laser-like focus, lack of dress code, fun toys, and most significantly, the abundant creativity and community of wicked smart, eccentric folks with pony tails, beards and Birkenstocks who plague my industry. I get to do what I like to do for money, and I haven't worked in any kind of "normal, stable" company since 1993.

I was made to go through life in a pair. I've been in series of committed, loving, intimate relationships since I was 16 years old. I married my college sweetheart - really. I need a "partner in crime" to be my best. I spent some more recent years in a long distance relationship with a really eccentric, wealthy fashion jewelry designer who had her crazy designs show up in Vogue and Elle and on runways all over the world. It was the first time as an adult that I didn't share my daily life with a loving companion. I've decided I do not like it. So here I am.

I believe in love, passion and chemistry. I meet someone, look at them, listen to their voice, see how they adorn themselves and wear their hair, watch their mannerisms. We might typically "over-share" a bit about our histories and secrets to test the intuitive "trust factor." After that, if there's some immediate physical visceral attraction, some real desire to not part from each other's company, well damned good - that is something to work with. OTOH, if I find myself all up in my head weighing abstract pros/cons and obsessing about other crazy existentially irrelevant hypotheticals - well, that's an uber-fail, in my book. Unlike many folks I've met here on OKC, I am definitely not trying "to arrange my own marriage." I am looking to fall in love, old school.

What else? I have a closet full of typical Brooks Brothers clothes, because I don't like to shop. Nevertheless, I pretty much wear the same "uniform" everyday, and almost never dress up. I can schmooze at parties and networking events or speak in public for a living when I have to, like when I'm starting or running a company, but it's not a part of life I enjoy. I don't like small talk - about the kids, vacation plans, house modifications, gossip, etc. - with people I don't know. I can do it with effort, but I rarely do it voluntarily.

I am a nerd. I spend a great deal of time in front of a laptop. I am a total homebody. I don't hang out in bars or stay out late at night, almost never. I usually start to wind down around 8PM, cooking dinner and taking sleep meds I need to manage a pretty serious sleep disorder. I do make rare exceptions for a few things (like a really great jazz concert), but I am pretty much the worst "hot Saturday night" date you will ever meet. Thank goodness for Netflix or I'd rarely see movies. I enjoy activities during the day. I enjoy a very small circle of friends from whom I keep few secrets, but I am very good at keeping secrets. I am very caring and kind to my friends. I regularly open my home to people in need, feed them and enjoy their company. It's my way of showing love.

I've lived in Woodley Park near the Zoo for over 20 years, and have no plans to haunt the suburbs again any time soon. I sold my car a few years ago and no longer drive. I walk around everywhere I need to go, get lots of vitamin D and burn lots of calories. I have a wonderful little boy that I visit regularly, but I do not actively manage his life. His mom is from Europe, so she lives downtown, doesn't drive a car and walks everywhere as well.

I have traveled quite a bit, but I am not a travel junkie. I lived overseas for a year in Ukraine and hated it. I like real jazz music, classic rock and typical indie 80-90's rock. I've been to jazz clubs in Paris, Rome, London, Budapest, New York, Munich, Philadelphia, New Orleans, Istanbul and on and on. I've owned a few nice cars in my life, but they never made me very happy, because I don't like to drive. I have never had a speeding ticket.

I'm pretty cerebral. I majored in philosophy, and love Foucault, Wittgenstein, Quine and Derrida. I'm also a news hound - politics, tech and financial. Folks around me tell me I'm super smart. I've read a ton of books about all kinds of obscure and useless topics. I don't agree with much shallow chatter circulating in the public realm. It's not that the answers are wrong, it's that people always ask the wrong questions to begin with. I ask myself and others many peculiar questions. In any case, our conversation won't likely be just bitching together about the things we don't like in common ;) Be ready to tell me something I don't know, or introduce me to some new experience. That turns me on.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Well, slacking off a bit, as I confessed above. But more notably, I am looking for a woman to court and spark.

I am definitely not looking for someone exactly like me. I don't see the point in that. If your life is already "totally complete," and you don't feel a real "need for a man in your life," well, good for you. I don't really understand that. I have tried living alone, and I don't like it. I have strengths and weaknesses. It's nice to pair up with someone who might be good at some things where I'm not so hot, someone who can turn me onto other cool parts of life.

I don't have a laundry list of requirements. I seek some admixture of company, companionship, conversation, comfort, affection, passion, sound counsel, frivolity, silliness, play, romance. I want someone to whom I can be nice and who will be kind to me back. I want someone who will appreciate my cooking, lights up when she sees my face or hears my voice. I am looking for someone to share my life and my bed for a day, a month, a year or decades. Nothing is forever, because people are not forever. People are mortal. But these are the good old days, and in delay there is no plenty. It's not so very complicated, is it?

Otherwise, I enjoy weekly milkshake dates with my son. I stay close to my family and friends. I watch the stock market and foreign films, haunt museums, take photographs, noodle on my guitar, cook all the time and walk everywhere. I research new technologies quite a bit. I am a news junkie.

I spent some more recent years "giving back," as they say, working with a technology based non-profit startup. Now they process over $300MM per year. I decided I don't like the non-profit world. I like the cold clean logic of profit and loss ;)

Anyway, I am starting a new company in cahoots with a former business partner. Happily, it's the early stages of research and prototyping, so I enjoy great flexibility in my daily schedule. This is a good time for me to meet someone outside of work circles, which I would greatly prefer. Once things get going, well, it gets pretty intense. I guess that is common knowledge nowadays. But I wanted to come clean; in the past, there have been women in my life who have not appreciated the transitions between quantity and quality time.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I am a very good cook. I cook almost every day, and spend time at the grocery store and in the kitchen to do it. I don't eat take out food or at restaurants much at all. I have a self-imposed restricted diet and greatly prefer to eat my own food at home. I eat dinner very late. Many Washingtonians will find this horribly boring. I express my love through the preparation and serving of food, a trait that runs back several generations in my family.

My other serious hobbies are photography and playing guitar.

Otherwise, folks tell me I'm pretty good at talking, listening, giving genuine objective and selfless advice, apologizing, playing guitar, taking photographs, listening to entire CDs from start to finish, doing kinky things in bed that we don't talk about on OKC, teaching, behavioral engineering, risk management, coping with a crisis, arguing a point, marshaling enthusiasm for new projects as well as simple past times, intellectual grazing, being really mean when I'm confronted in a threatening manner.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My eyes? No, probably whatever quirky phrase or paragraph that comes out of my mouth. Do people still notice me when I don't have my CEO hat on?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The Sheltering Sky, Foucault's History of Sexuality, Chomky's writings on media, Sylvia Plath, Dynamics of Software Development, Bataille's Visions of Excess, Problem Frames, almost anything by Aldous Huxley, The Experience Economy, Eugene Richards "Let Truth Be the Prejudice" and Helmut Newton's "White Women" or Avedon's "In the American West" and so many other photography books, Naked Lunch, any play by Tom Stoppard - I'm all over the map when it comes to books.

Persona, From the Life of the Marionettes, Scenes from a Marriage and anything else by Bergman; almost any movie with Dirk Bogarde or Marcello Mastroianni or Monica Vitti; Red Desert and anything else by Antonioni; Samsara and Koyaanisqatsi; the Deer Hunter, Taxi Driver and other films from the gritty 70's realism genre; 1930's remarriage comedies; Peter Greenaway's or Mike Leigh's very differently perverse experiments; the occasional Hollywood blockbuster, nearly anything showing at E Street Cinema when I get the chance.

BTVS, No Reservations, MSNBC, CNBC, Alphas, Lost Girl, The L Word (yeah, I watch tube).

John Scofield, Miles, Coltrane, Wynton Marsalis, Kenny Garret, Don Byron, Joe Henderson, Barney Kessel, Pat Martino, Sean Lane, Joni Mitchell, Liz Phair, Rickie Lee Jones, early Jackson Browne and Steely Dan, Bad Company, Bill Frissel, Alan Holdsworth, Incubus, King Crimson, Joan Armatrading and on and on and on.

Food I cook :) Watercress foo yee and Malaysian food in general. I've been to Oyamel a bit recently.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My peripatetic urban life in DC, visits with my son, beautiful and virtuosic music, real food lovingly and skillfully prepared from basic ingredients, life's educating challenges, life's euphoric ecstasy.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
An ever elusive unified field theory that explains an ever accumulating body of knowledge and experience.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Thinking about Saturday night.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Soilent Green is... made of people! But really, until I came to OKC, I never realized how many dog owners, lawyers, school teachers and other luminaries were maxing out on their so very fabulous lives. OK, no really, I'm infinitely curious to find out why you're single ;)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You value serendipitous experience; you have something very, very interesting to say; you don't have heavy interpersonal axes to grind; you're not too shy or prudish to answer some of the OKC sex questions; you're not overly obnoxious; you don't have strange problems with "men in general" please; and you want a very kinky sex life. Go ahead, I don't bite :)

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