Lately, I've been pretty much of a slacker. I am an aging, Harvard educated, ex-workaholic from the software industry type of slacker. I really love software. I majored in Philosophy, and software is making ideas work on machines - a kind of applied philosophy! Being a closet bohemian in capitalist social circles, I always gravitated to the fringe, newer, riskier parts of the software industry, and fell in love quickly with tech startups - way before it was cool or considered a way to make a fortune. I just did it for the thrill, risk, laser-like focus, lack of dress code, fun toys, and most significantly, the abundant creativity and community of wicked smart, eccentric folks with pony tails, beards and Birkenstocks who plague my industry. I get to do what I like to do for money, and I haven't worked in any kind of "normal, stable" company since 1993.
I was made to go through life in a pair. I've been in series of committed, loving, intimate relationships since I was 16 years old. I married my college sweetheart - really. I need a "partner in crime" to be my best. I spent some more recent years in a long distance relationship with a really eccentric, wealthy fashion jewelry designer who had her crazy designs show up in Vogue and Elle and on runways all over the world. It was the first time as an adult that I didn't share my daily life with a loving companion. I've decided I do not like it. So here I am.
I believe in love, passion and chemistry. I meet someone, look at them, listen to their voice, see how they adorn themselves and wear their hair, watch their mannerisms. We might typically "over-share" a bit about our histories and secrets to test the intuitive "trust factor." After that, if there's some immediate physical visceral attraction, some real desire to not part from each other's company, well damned good - that is something to work with. OTOH, if I find myself all up in my head weighing abstract pros/cons and obsessing about other crazy existentially irrelevant hypotheticals - well, that's an uber-fail, in my book. Unlike many folks I've met here on OKC, I am definitely not trying "to arrange my own marriage." I am looking to fall in love, old school.
What else? I have a closet full of typical Brooks Brothers clothes, because I don't like to shop. Nevertheless, I pretty much wear the same "uniform" everyday, and almost never dress up. I can schmooze at parties and networking events or speak in public for a living when I have to, like when I'm starting or running a company, but it's not a part of life I enjoy. I don't like small talk - about the kids, vacation plans, house modifications, gossip, etc. - with people I don't know. I can do it with effort, but I rarely do it voluntarily.
I am a nerd. I spend a great deal of time in front of a laptop. I am a total homebody. I don't hang out in bars or stay out late at night, almost never. I usually start to wind down around 8PM, cooking dinner and taking sleep meds I need to manage a pretty serious sleep disorder. I do make rare exceptions for a few things (like a really great jazz concert), but I am pretty much the worst "hot Saturday night" date you will ever meet. Thank goodness for Netflix or I'd rarely see movies. I enjoy activities during the day. I enjoy a very small circle of friends from whom I keep few secrets, but I am very good at keeping secrets. I am very caring and kind to my friends. I regularly open my home to people in need, feed them and enjoy their company. It's my way of showing love.
I've lived in Woodley Park near the Zoo for over 20 years, and have no plans to haunt the suburbs again any time soon. I sold my car a few years ago and no longer drive. I walk around everywhere I need to go, get lots of vitamin D and burn lots of calories. I have a wonderful little boy that I visit regularly, but I do not actively manage his life. His mom is from Europe, so she lives downtown, doesn't drive a car and walks everywhere as well.
I have traveled quite a bit, but I am not a travel junkie. I lived overseas for a year in Ukraine and hated it. I like real jazz music, classic rock and typical indie 80-90's rock. I've been to jazz clubs in Paris, Rome, London, Budapest, New York, Munich, Philadelphia, New Orleans, Istanbul and on and on. I've owned a few nice cars in my life, but they never made me very happy, because I don't like to drive. I have never had a speeding ticket.
I'm pretty cerebral. I majored in philosophy, and love Foucault, Wittgenstein, Quine and Derrida. I'm also a news hound - politics, tech and financial. Folks around me tell me I'm super smart. I've read a ton of books about all kinds of obscure and useless topics. I don't agree with much shallow chatter circulating in the public realm. It's not that the answers are wrong, it's that people always ask the wrong questions to begin with. I ask myself and others many peculiar questions. In any case, our conversation won't likely be just bitching together about the things we don't like in common ;) Be ready to tell me something I don't know, or introduce me to some new experience. That turns me on.