Wanted: Spaceship Earth Male Crew-member Seeking Like-Minded Female
crew-member for long term partnership on this extended space
Ship will be orbiting Sol, a G Type Main Sequence Star in the one
of the Milky Way's outer spiral arms, known as the Orion–Cygnus
Arm, for the next few billions of years. This endeavor will present
crew with many risks, but will also come with many exciting
opportunities for exploring the wonders of the universe. Male crew
member is looking for long term partner, both to fill a mutual
support and collaboration role during the journey, and for a
companion to share the awe-inspiring experiences that an Earthship
journey has to offer.
Summary of Ship-side Duties:
* Must have experience working on missions on a team, and play well
* Must have experience working independently to meet personal
* Must enjoy both outdoor and indoor activities, including but not
- Hiking, biking, gardening, climbing, kayaking, barbecuing,
dancing (solo or with a partner), cooking, massaging, reading,
chillaxing, eating good food, cuddling, craft beer drinking, hand
holding, live music, discussing life the universe and everything,
- Note: flexibility is required. Due to a highly multidisciplinary,
holistic approach to navigation, there may be overlap in mission
activities. For example, there might be culinary duties followed by
hike through unexplored terrain, with a discussion over dinner in
the woods (also know as "picnicking" in the vernacular), or
kayaking/canoeing/tubing combined with craft beer drinking (AKA
Required Crew-Member Qualifications:
* Demonstrate the following characteristics under a variety of
- Considering the possible length of the journey, candidates will
need to be able to find humor in any situation, and the ability to
not take self too seriously.
- Intelligence, trustworthiness, and creativity
- A spirit of adventure and desire to explorer the world around
- The ability to communicate complex ideas verbally and through the
written word - must say what they mean and mean what they
- A liberal, holistic view of the ship and it's crew, including
interest in sustainability and social justice.
- A strong sense of loyalty and comradery, and a desire to share
life with a companion.
- Ability to remain kind, compassionate, forgiving, positive, and
loving during stressful missions.
* Must be healthy and in sound physical and mental condition, as
will be necessary to participate in the ship's daily activities.
Candidates should be relatively close to the make crew member's
age. Preference will be given to candidates who participate
regularly in physical activities. (running, biking, yoga,
* Years of research has revealed that apparently everyone on this
spaceship is crazy - hence candidate will need to demonstrate a
mutually compatible form of craziness.
Desired Crew Member Qualifications:
* Special attention with be given to applicants with any of the
- experience with swing or salsa dance, martial arts, drinking
craft brews, mindfulness meditation, roller-blading, board games,
or video games
- a great smile, for it is a smiling face, not just the eyes, that
is a window to the soul
- other hobbies that they'd like to share with or introduce to male
crew-member, especially those that have a creative or philosophical
- pets, especially well trained dogs, and personable cats, are
welcome aboard the ship
Guaranteed compensation for a crew-member should they choose to
enter a long term commitment consists of a generous package of
boundless friendship, unerring support, unwavering trust,
bottomless passion, never-ending companionship, and unfathomably
deep love of male crew-member; other perks may apply and will be
negotiated prior to and during transit. Bonus structure: There is
no limit on the amount of love that can be shared by the male crew
member; qualified applicants for the female crew member position
must be prepared to potentially offer the same, depending on the
overall success of the mission and upon entering into a long term
contract. Additional benefits also include, but are not limited to,
the five types of gifts from the heart (words of affirmation, acts
of service, gifts, quality time, and affection), and the support
and companionship of family and friends.
Mutual Interviews will take place in a variety of venues, including
but not limited to the Nichols Arboretum, various local breweries,
live music venues, local parks and trails, or any other location
allowing for suitable discussion. Trial runs with potential crew
member pairings will continue until mutually acceptable pairing is
ascertained, followed by a period of temporary attachment with
option to rescind, with the option to arrange for a more permanent
agreement between the two crew-members. There is no deadline for
this position - a good fit is paramount.
For more information about Space Ship Earth, please see
Contact HR via the "Send a Message" button to arrange for an
culinary or spirits based interview, or set up trial exploratory
mission. Please be prepared to submit a statement, written or
verbal, of qualifications and experiences.
Back to reality: Seriously... If you've actually read this far, at
least say hi!