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AlanCrenshaw

25 M Torrance, CA

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 18–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Native American, Hispanic / Latin, White, Other
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Pisces
Education
Space camp
Job
Other
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a playful guy that jokes around a lot, but can also show a very serious philosophical and also artistic side. What are some of the things I'm most passionate about in life? Telling stories, making people laugh, exercise, reading, helping people, hosting a group webcam chat I started 7 years ago, and simply talking with people (remember when people did that before the texting era?) are things that come immediately to mind.

I'll give an outside opinion of me that was written by a female acquaintance of mine:

"I just want to, lock him up in a treasure chest and take him with me until he dies of suffocation because everything he says is golden. (*My commentary: What the fuck? Apparently this girl has a fetish for suffocating people?!)

We have been talking for eight days now, and each day, he's made me laugh [and sometimes cry, because of the laughter]. And if I don't laugh, he makes me smile. What more can a girl ask for?

So, ladies, if you're looking for someone to make you laugh your pretty little asses off [and your, pretty no-so-little asses off], then this guy is prefect for you. Be careful though, his humor can be a little lewd and risqué, but it's still EXTREMELY funny."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a personal trainer/nutritionist. While I joke around a ton, I sure treat training and eating very seriously. If you are interested in losing fat, building muscle, getting in better shape, or just plain getting healthier, there is the perk that I can help there!
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
What a loaded subject! How am I not going to sound arrogant on this one? :) I'd say I'm good at:

Fast and unexpected witty comebacks
Being able to talk about a very wide range of subjects
Telling stories with great detail
Making people laugh
Staying around 5% body fat most of the year
Being EARLY to dates
Getting cats I've never seen before to walk up to me and petting them; I call it "cat luring", and it's a hobby of mine
Utilizing the English language; in English tests I was equal with the average college freshman in the U.S. when I was all the way back in 6th grade (and I didn't exactly go backward in my skill with the language since then!)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I apparently use many "big" words in conversation (since when did "amalgam" and "milieu" become big words?), my possession of arguably useless knowledge (seems many think knowing things like what all 3 branches of government are called is "useless"), that I'm a "nerd", and my build if I'm showing a decent amount of skin.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: I'm a sucker for a good biography of an influential person, I've read a lot on philosophy and a decent amount on politics, and I can also quite enjoy books on exercise, nutrition, sports. I'm exceptionally well-read in comparison to the average American, which I admit isn't saying much seeing that many in the U.S. never really progress past the "Twilight" and "Harry Potter" fare.

Movies: I tend to go for comedies and action movies.

Shows: I watch far less TV than most people, but when I do it's usually a mixture of sports, Cartoon Network (have loved Adult Swim for many years!), and Discovery Channel offerings.

Music: drum 'n' bass, dubstep, rap (largely for the beats and rhyming skill displayed- not for the lifestyle and opinions often displayed), pop music from the 50's to the 80's, some metal, some rock, and videogame music (often older videogames).

Food: I eat so clean that my relative "junk food" meals tends to be stuff like Lean Cuisine low fat microwave meals well under 500 calories. Hey, it can take some sacrifices to be able to test at 3-7% body fat year round! The foods I eat most often would be rice, sweet potatoes, bread, pasta, chicken breast, cheese, sardines, various soups, and whey protein drinks (I'll count that as a food). I hardly go out to eat, and I'm accustomed to cooking for myself and making my own meals.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
People to talk with, plenty of food, a computer, learning new things, exercise, at least one of my hands (for... umm... writing! All the writing I do! Yup! That's it!).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why so many guys on this site obviously lie about their height. I just scoped out the competition, and the average height listed was about 6 feet even. Meanwhile, the average height of an adult male in the U.S. is 5 foot 9. Fellas, these girls are going to figure out on the dates you are lying your asses off unless you are wearing lifts in your shoes comparable to high heels!

Also, I think about how many people on this site apparently can't count to 6; seems like about 20% of people I see here who answer the "six things I could never do without" section put either more or less than 6 things and don't acknowledge they put the wrong number of things, which strongly implies they can't count to 6.

I also think about why this site lists agnosticism and atheism as "religions". I found those mistakes comical. Can you imagine what might go on inside a Church of Agnosticism? "We shall pray to the doctrine that there is no proof that there are any deities and no proof that there aren't any! Praise Thomas Huxley, and may he bless us! Amen."

Ok, I confess I don't give much thought to what I wrote in the above couple of paragraphs, but they just popped into my head. I'm a very analytical person who tends to think a lot about a lot. That's the closest I can come to a soundbite answer that would accurately convey reality.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
probably somewhere in or around Torrance, Hermosa Beach, Redondo Beach, or Los Angeles doing some of the things I mentioned in the self-summary.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I actually liked Gwen Stefani's first album. Considering I'm a heterosexual male, that took so much courage to admit!

But seriously, I suppose it would be fear that I'll be forever go on dud dates. The last few years I've been incredibly unlucky in the dating department. As examples of that, a recent woman I dated was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder, and the one before that was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and she told me on the date she was seeing someone on top of that. A semi-recent one had tattooed-on eyebrows and was so dumb she literally said "I've never dated before, but I've dated some dumb ones too" and wasn't even joking! Speaking of dumb, the last girl I went out on a date with thought that the capital of Canada was Moscow! Oh, and I can't forget the second to last girl I went out on a date with-- for some inexplicable reason she brought both of her brothers to the date! I feel like I've only been dating women from a madhouse lately!

I perhaps hit a new low in dating hell on my date with the chick with multiple personality disorder. She picked the spot to meet on the date, and she decided to meet me in front of a Target (that was a new one!), apparently due to it being in walking distance of her. Picking a Target for a 1st date seemed very odd, but I agreed to it.

Despite her living perhaps only half a mile from the Target, she gets there over 20 minutes late! I then fairly quickly notice that she has so much in the way of thick, dark hair growing on her arms that it looked like it could perhaps be shaved off and fashioned into a fur coat for Shaquille O'Neal; this girl sported a hair coat on her arms that rivaled a lowland alpha-male silverback gorilla. She also literally had more armpit hair than I had, and I hadn't shaved my armpits in 9 months! It was as if I had discovered the mythical Yeti in real life. But I tried to look past the superficial, and focus on her personality. I was able to with mixed success, and unfortunately her personality was actually worse than her looks.

The girl actually had the gall to claim that she was "perfect" and wasn't joking, and claimed that she'd never met anyone who could conversationally "keep up" with her. In reality, she was painfully awkward and was one of those people who kept talking too much without saying much of note unless it was cringe-worthy, and I'd have to interrupt her to get a word in. As far as people not being able to "keep up with her", most 3rd graders with a mental handicap wouldn't have had much issue keeping up with her.

After about an hour of this horror (I guess I have the patience of a saint?), she said she needed to go and get her mom something. Right before we part ways, my arms go out to the side to give the furry beast a goodbye hug, and she puts her right hand up above her shoulder in a high-five position and says "I don't like hugs". I see how awkward things have become, and I figure "Screw it" and say "Oh, high five time?" and hit her right hand with a high-five as she's walking away. It was a hilariously awkward culmination to a hilariously awkward date. It was possibly the worst date I've ever been on, and that's saying something as I've had quite the extensive dating history.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you are looking for a unique guy who is playful and if what I bring to the table appeals to you. If you happen to find me physically attractive that might help too!

Wait... did you really read this far down the profile? Wow! What dedication! Seems to warrant congratulations! You win an e-cookie!!!