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Alan_J_Bale

35 Birmingham, UK Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 23–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Never
Religion
Christianity, and laughing about it
Sign
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from Ph.D program
Job
Education
Income
$20,000–$30,000
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has a kid
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly), Ancient Greek (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am not available. Apologies to the massive flood of women (7 in two years) who have sent unsolicited messages my way, but I'm afraid I am quite in love and happy with my extremely functional piece of eye candy, whom I discovered on this site. The remainder of this profile is unedited from my wild single days.

(It has come to my attention that the women on this site are extremely wary of men, due no doubt to the unavoidable fact that the majority of them act like nobs. I understand your caution, but honestly, I'm not an ab flasher or similar type of moron. It probably wouldn't hurt you to talk to me. If you don't respond, my persistence would only convince you that I'm a stalker. For this reason, honour only permits me to trouble you once.

Now, on with show...)

I am honest and direct. I care about far too many things for my own good. I read and learn all the time. I ask a lot of questions and like to work things through in conversation. Put the world to rights and all that.
I like to do crazy things at least occasionally, and have not met my quota this year...
My little boy is very important to me and that will not be changing.
Some people would say I'm funny, but more often I am intense and serious. I think it is fair to say I'm usually interesting - but you know, car crashes and train wrecks are interesting too.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am helping disadvantaged adults learn about where their food comes from. I have a PhD in biblical studies but I'm not a god botherer. I am mostly outdoors and also, I read a lot.

I like a bit of bushcraft and sustainable living. I go to the woods, and what I do is this: I build a hut out of sticks; then I make a fire with a flint and steel (am nearly there with the bow-drill too), then I go find food; then I stay there for as long as possible.
I know this may not sound the sanest thing to do, but I feel you deserve to know. Other than the deprivation/starvation/hypothermia, it's really quite good fun. Don't worry, by the way, about having to share this obviously err... challenging, activity with me- the solitude is part of the fun. The friend I sometimes take is practically a mute, and that is how I like him.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm a bit of a generalist, really. I'm good at thinking, which might sound boring, but if you like getting stuck into all subjects at a moment's notice I may be what you're after. I am a profficient cook and a good dad. I make the best raspberry jam going, can forage enough food to not have to buy very much, and know a lot about vegetables. I'm pretty good at making fires with a flint, and am rapidly becoming profficient with sticks. I can hunt a bit, too, though there is a lot of work to do there. I only ever hunt to eat.
I am a bit aspergers, and obsessed with narratives - my PhD was on the cognitive processes of reading and how we can use them to bring methodology to biblical studies. My text configuring skills are consequently quite honed. Sometimes this makes me annoying when I see something at the beginning of a movie and spurt out the three possible routes the film is now able to take. Just hit me when this happens.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People mention my eyes, including the lashes. I never understand that, but it is definitely a feature. They also mention the smile. I'm always aware of gappy teeth, but it is, at least an honest and friendly smile. It is frequently called "the toothy grin."
Often, people will note that I look eccentric, that I stand out, or some similar thing. I do not look normal because, well, I'm not that normal. The situation has improved since I cut my hair though. Nowadays you have to actually speak to me to realise that something's not quite right...
People quickly notice that I have a lot of energy and am honest and direct to the point of being blunt. You cannot miss my unique approach to building relationships. You will at least very quickly know where you stand, for good or ill. I do try to be nice though, and reply to every message. I have had to stop replying, on occasion, but you would have to declare your love for David Cameron for me to not give you at least a chance.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Too many books... Wuthering Heights, anything by Dickens; Kafka, Shakespeare, Orwell... fantasy books - game of thrones (before it was fashionable!), Gormenghast, Dune, The Malazan series, The earthsea quartet! I love books really far too much, and will frequently (if possible) sit and read for two days subsisting only on tea. I love a bit of poetry too, though mostly the stuff from the romantic movement. A dozen bits of Wordsworth and quite a lot of Browning. Byron, Coleridge, Tennyson, Wilde. I love the Raven, but nothing else by Poe. Yes, I am aware he was not a romantic...

I like most music except hard jazz (which doesn't sound like music at all to me), but lyrics are important and I love folk. Kris Drever, that sort of thing. I have really acute hearing, so when it comes to music the rule is this: if you can pick out all the individual sounds in a song, I might like it. If they blend into one I will not. With that rule in mind my musical taste is extremely liberal.
Films: Fight Club, In Bruges, O Brother, Lebowski... Seven, Inglorious Bastards. I'm oddly fond of Brad Pitt, and less oddly, of Johny Depp. I admire real acting quite a lot.
I love epic shows like the Walking Dead and Game of Thrones. I also love Doctor Who. I have been persuaded to watch Strictly, but on the whole I watch basically no television. This is quite an important point. If you want me to watch any crap tv you will have to wrap yourself around me, provide me with chocolate and red wine, and possibly a log fire. Do that and I'll even watch Eastenders with you, if you really want. Though why you would want to watch that in the first place I struggle to see...
Food! I love proper food and often have to cook for myself to avoid disappointment. Curry, rare steak, chowder, a roast - I have broad taste and borrow a little from Spain, China, India, Italy... I have a basic grasp of seafood, but in that department need to learn a little more. As a rule, I'm a big fan of meat and dairy, but other than the calories my diet is actually pretty healthy. I often go long stretches on just fruit and peanuts, but usually have at least one decent meal a day.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My little boy.
A book.
Sleep.
The occasional respite of a log fire.
Good food.
The Outdoors.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Oh Gosh... I've spent three years thinking about ancient narratives and how readers would have made sense out of them! Not very interesting...

In reality I think about everything, but my thoughts tend to be dominated by philosophical/political things, sustainable living, my little boy, and when I can get back outside to build a hut and have a fire. I seldom think about TOWIE, or any crap similar pop-culture tripe. I do think a lot about apocalypses, whether climate-change or zombie based. I think about how my first novel will be received, which when you think about it is really ridiculous. I think about how ridiculous it is too.
I write stories in my head. Have been doing it all my life. Some make it on to paper. I have about 30000 words coming together at present. Fantasies, apocalyptic, biographical - one of each of these is living in my brain all the time. I spend a lot of time thinking about my little boy's future zombie ninja training.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Not up to much. I don't like to party unless there are lots of people there that I actually like. But then, my friend, I can party. My dancing is a site to behold. My karaoke is legend.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have read far too much Jane Austen for a boy.

I love Heathcliff a bit too much.

I actually quite like Strictly, but refuse to watch it unless a girl forces me, for the principle of the thing.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
*You should not message me at all if:*
You mash your grammar and spelling to pieces in your profile. You could be BEAUTIFUL beyond words, but if you ryt lik dis it aint goin nower innit. Cha.
You put something like "I'm just an easy going girl who takes life as it comes and likes a laugh" in your self-summary. (If you combined these two no no's you are anathema to me. Walk away and never look back.)

You *should* message me if:
You are bright, and capable of conversation on political, philosophical, and ethical subjects.
You are an empathetic and compassionate person who gives a shit about others.
You could not easily be accused of excessive materialism.

- the next one is mandatory -
You have the sort of nose that a tiny little person could ski down and jump off at the end.

Other reasons you might message me:
You are thinking to yourself "I have a great nearly-impossible-to-survive adventure planned, but nobody stupid enough to support me in it." If this is the case, you probably need me. I'm like the A-team for that sort of thing.
You think "By Gosh, that's the most beautiful man I've ever seen! While I admit this is unlikely, that only makes it more important that you share this revelation with me at once.

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