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AlchenyBlue

25 M Portland, OR

My Details

Last Online
Sep 24, 2013
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Science / Engineering
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly), C++ (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Yes, the pictures I have right now are goofy. Sadly they're the best I had around (I don't take a lot of pictures) so I'll have to get some not bad ones uploaded soon.

I make jokes about most things and try not to take anything too seriously. I don't think that stops me from understanding, appreciating, or developing an intelligent opinion on the matter at hand, I just also think that there might be humorous elements of that matter that lend themselves to mockery.

In theory I'm a pretty smart guy, but in practice I manage to pull some pretty retarded stuff (omg don't be so ableist). I'm good at math, commenting on the heteronormative society we live in that oppresses certain gender identities, and making crude and offensive jokes.

Basically, I like to think about neat stuff and just relax and enjoy things. I tend to get along great with most people, although sometimes I have been accused of laughing at serious matters and being too flippant. So, if you have your panties in a bunch (or are offended by the suggestion that you might, or patriarchal and oppressive nature of that phrase) then you might not like me.
What I’m doing with my life
I graduated with my B.S. in applied mathematics because I thought it was pretty cool and I figured people would look at it and go "man that guy is smart", but instead they went "man that guy doesn't have a finance/comp. sci./economics degree" so I'm working for less money than I'd like. But it's cool because I'm living life, having fun, and learning stuff on the streets like a straight thug nigga; nothing in this world can bring you down if you strap on your Compton hat and Locs. I also tutor math in some of my spare time because I enjoy math and love helping people understand understand it. That said, I'm also looking for ways to make more money, so one day I can have a trophy wife, or maybe my own pony.

When I'm not at work I'm usually hanging around my house with friends, playing video games or discussing the endless mysteries of the universe. If I'm not doing that I might be learning how to dance, pick locks, or become a better ruler of a kingdom / army general. Sometimes I take a break from these things to blast gangster rap out of the speakers on my hooptie.
I’m really good at
- Math, critical problem analysis, thinkin' hard about stuff.
- Video games. I spent a lot of my formative years playing them, and one of my biggest hobbies is playing them with my friends.
-Making coffee in various forms - ranging from hulk-smash espresso to delicious milkshakes - and also smoothies and stuff.
-Making people laugh, brightening the days of those around me, various practical jokes.
- Impressions and impersonating personalities; my favorites are "stupid 14 year old girl," "#yoloswag guy," and "racist southern black stereotype."
The first things people usually notice about me
Either my hair (I usually let it grow out a bit before cutting it), that I am usually wearing a plaid shirt, or my sense of humor; I tend to joke around without thinking about it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Name of the Wind, The Wise Man's Fear, The Alphabet of Manliness, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, Assholes Finish First, Hilarity Ensues/Sloppy Seconds. Most comedy, some fantasy.

Movies: Almost anything funny - Superbad, Borat, Bruno, Super Troopers, Zack and Mirri Make A Porno, Zombieland, etc. I like other movies too, but crude dick jokes get me every time.

Shows: I don't really watch much TV, but I love(d) House, South Park, King of the Hill, and a few others.

Music: I love ska; Reel Big Fish, Streetlight Manifesto, Less Than Jake, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, The Toasters, Planet Smashers... I could go on for a while. I also have a spot in my heart for R.E.M. because they were amazing. And Boston. Pretty much bands that rock out.

Food: Dead animals (notably, chicken strips!) are delicious, and I absolutely love my coffee. Oh, and I like things that taste good.
The six things I could never do without
1. My laptop (for legitimate business dealings)
2. My coffee (homebrew, Starbucks, small shops, idgaf)
3. My cellphone (LOLOLOL first world problems)
4. My car; used to be my bike, but let's be real
5. My extensive collection of plaid shirts; rain, sun, or rain, I'm taken care of
6. The coffee machine / blender / coffee grinder nook in my kitchen; I had to steal a corner of the counter from my roommates to set it all up, and it's where I get to go all mad scientist with caffeine and chocolate
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What I want to do with life, because I'm like every other 20-something out of college. Sorry, I know it's really boring but it's true :C

Other than that, pretty much anything. If I get stuck trying to figure something out it'll be in my head all day long, and I spend some trips home from work thinking about a dozen different things.

Also how to fuck bitches and get money.
On a typical Friday night I am
Hanging out with friends, either sitting around enjoying the weather, playing video games, or perhaps playing D&D / some tabletop game (because we are nerds you see).

If those jerks are busy I'm probably just sitting around with my roommates enjoying not having work the next morning. That's not to say I don't go out on Fridays, but it has to be more interesting than relaxing after a long week of work.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I consider Eminem a legitimate and respectable rhymesmith.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–26
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You have a quality sense of humor, are capable of being honest about your feelings, and have the confidence and self-esteem to take the initiative and message somebody. Just because you're a girl doesn't mean you can't take a dominant role in an interaction!