I'm awesome. That's pretty much it. Some things can't really be
conveyed in words, though I still do a pretty good job at it. I
have had women tell me that I'm a catch, and that I'm a hopeless
romantic. This is true, but I am just as much a hopeless
misogynist. Let's face it, down deep most of you ladies hate us men
too... Remember that drunk asshole you had the one night stand
with, and the sex wasn't even all that good, and afterwards you
said it was a mistake? I'm kind of like that, except no girl I've
been with has ever considered fucking me to be a mistake. In fact,
it would be a mistake not to.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm halfway through grad school, studying to become a
psychotherapist (you have to be a little bit crazy). If I wasn't
doing that, I would probably be DJ'ing or growing pot... Oh well,
it's always nice to have hobbies.
I’m really good at
Subtle sexual innuendos? I don't know if that counts as a skill.
I'm pretty good at finding things to do, and going to good parties.
I know martial arts and I'm pretty good with a bo-staff, though I'm
better with my hands... And other parts of my anatomy. I'm also a
pretty good DJ (at least I can mix without all that computer shit,
and own actual TURNTABLES) and I have a killer music collection. I
love digging in crates, and if you name a hip hop song, there's a
good chance I can tell you what it was sampled from. And while
we're on the topic, yes, I'd like to mention... When it comes to
boning - woooooooooh - I'm representing! (okay, that wasn't so
The first things people usually notice about me
* That I'm a viking
* Also that I'm a viking
* No, seriously, that I'm a very large man
* My hair
* My bling and the fact that I'm usually pretty fresh
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I've read too many books. I try not to do it anymore. Especially
when I have to read insane amounts for school. Back in the day I
used to enjoy a lot of science-fiction and some fantasy. I like
novels about dystopian nightmare societies like Brave New World,
and 1984, though I'm not sure those are considered "fiction"
anymore. Mostly I read a lot of psychology, spirituality, eastern
philosophy, and new age shit.
I enjoy movies but I usually only watch them if I'm dating someone.
And most of the time we're really having sex instead of watching
the movie... BUT, I do have a couple of favorites. I tend to like a
lot of cult classic type stuff. Terry Gilliam is probably my
favorite director. Off the top of my head: 12 Monkeys, Brazil, I
<3 Huckabees (one of my favs), Fight Club (this is too obvious),
Pulp Fiction (also too obvious), and Enter The Void (which is
probably my favorite film in recent years).
I go to shows whenever possible and whenever I can afford it.
Honestly, there are too many good ones in Denver to do them all. I
love literally almost all genres of music, but if I wanna get hype
and go to the club, I'm either listening to techno (including
d&B, dubstep, trap, or whatever the fuck else kids want to call
it these days) or hip hop music. Old school and underground hip hop
is my first love. To me, you ain't a fucking DJ unless you can
scratch and do some turntablism. When I'm cruisin' in the whip I
listen to anything, but a lot of the time I chill out to old school
shit like Marvin Gaye, Al Green... Any kind of funk, soul, R&B,
and jazz. Basically the stuff from which those rappers got all
those great samples... btw, RIP J Dilla.
I eat food. Stuff that tastes good. I like anything spicy, hot,
exotic, but still reasonably priced. Kinda how I like my women.
The six things I could never do without
The Internet (sad, but true.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Human psychology. The path to enlightenment. The nature of human
suffering. Why the world is so fucked up. Why evil men prosper and
good men are shot down in their prime. How to get money and
pussy... You know, basic shit.
On a typical Friday night I am
Typically, my Tuesday night is like most people's Friday night. But
I haven't been going out quite as much lately... Basically though,
if there's something worth doing, I'm usually there.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've had lots of crazy ex-girlfriends? Even that might be too much.
I think I'm gonna plead the 5th.
Oh yeah, and apparently gay men think I'm like the greatest thing
You should message me if
You're not crazy. If you're crazy and also really hot, I might be
able to let that requirement slide. Just kidding, I kind of like
crazy girls, but there is a fine line between "fun," "adventurous,"
and "spontaneous," and "bat-shit, off your anti-psychotic meds
insane." Apparently, I am still trying to find that line. Also you
should be fairly attractive and look reasonably good with your
clothes off. I mean I generally don't fuck with below a 7, though I
might drop a point if I'm drunk.
By the way, if you haven't realized it by now, this profile is a
joke, sort of like this website - except for the stuff about me
being good in bed - that's definitely true. Not that it matters
since most of the chicks on this site seem to be looking for a
hubbie or a babydaddy, and I'm not it... Not saying that I
wouldn't, but I doubt I'm gonna meet that woman online. Anyway, if
you can't laugh at yourself and at life, then what's the point?