28 Chicago, IL
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
From age 10 to age (let's say) 17 I kept a secret hundred dollar bill on me at all times. For whatever. Maybe soccer practice would take a turn for the worse and I'd need to bribe a guard. At once both over- and very, very under-prepared.

my friends have variously described me as: "funny," "smart," "tall-ish," "I'm sorry, I don't know who that is," and "virulently communist"

Pronouns: Duke, Ace, & Dem Boyz
What I’m doing with my life
I grew up in Madison, WI--which, for the uninitiated, is an archetypal college town like Berkeley or Ann Arbor, if Berkeley or Ann Arbor smelled of cheap beer and wore XXL Packers jerseys to dates (but tucked in; we aren't barbarians). I recently moved back to Chicago to work as an EMT. Most of my days at work consist of filling out paperwork and administering oxygen to corpses propped up by insurance company greed and the vanity of family members. (If I'm ever left without a single intact faculty, I'd hope whoever would just pull the plug and turn me into soylent green.) On the upside, I know what a lot of gross people feel like underneath their clothes. I do a little freelance writing, here and there, too, since the aforementioned, at least for privates, pays mostly in handshakes and thanks yous. By the way, I dropped anchor finally in Logan Square, where I'm part of the problem. I've been told I have "peasants' hands."

No, Financial Aid Application, I do not have 'overseas assets.' I am sitting on a lawn chair indoors.
I’m really good at
impractical things (in the parents-ask-you-what-you're-doing-with-your-life sense): self-congratulation, mental math, drawing still life, looking things up, trailing off, sighing demonstrably when newscasters misuse the word 'literally', finding today's urban gentry insufferable, becoming infuriated over David Brooks op-eds, treading water indefinitely, wit of the staircase, discharging the offices of local armchair art historian, befriending the people in the line for the bar, befriending those of my patients who are still capable of conversation, responding to simple questions with long and thoughtful but embarrassingly obtuse answers; laboriously explaining jokes, then sitting quietly and staring out a window at nothing in particular; getting all hot under the collar about what are in fact injustices institutionalized by power--and not, y'know, several million cases of individual moral deliquency
The first things people usually notice about me
other end of burrito is clearly open and leaking onto his shirt
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Histories of things, like: Chicago, Russian literature, millenarianism, the English working class, debt. Novels and plays that catch my eye at the local used book store. Rilke, Larkin, Blake, Ashbery, Neruda, Stevens on CTA. Chomsky. Marx. Zizek. ...Welty? I read Dubliners again every year. The Lady with the Lapdog is a favorite. Several architecture and urban planning blogs. I have not read any Dave Eggers. Nor have I read any Malcolm Gladwell for that matter. Suggestions outside of Dave Eggers and Malcolm Gladwell are welcome! Also, no Tao Lin. Currently reading: The Death and Life of Great American Cities by Jane Jacobs. Oh, and of course my brick of a textbook on How To Prevent Death From Massive Trauma During Your Commute.

Josef Herman, Ilya Repin, Jules Breton, Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio, James Tissot (the leisure classes of 19th century Britain and France doing what they did best: nothing), Mark Rothko (eczema of the psyche), Marc Chagall, Joaquín Sorolla (peasants in paradise)

fallen out of the habit of regular TV and movie viewing, buttttt if I need a list - Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters, Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay, Office Space still holds up, as do Wayne's World 1 & 2, Kroll Show, Inside Amy Schumer, the Daily Show (in spite of no longer being as funny as it once was; I think one of us may be waxing, the other waning), and that show's smarter, funnier fraternal twin the Colbert Report (RIP), I watch DemocracyNOW! online almost every day (+++social justice); The Simpsons; but TV comedy really peaked with the second season of Chappelle's Show; there was a brief, perhaps necessary phase there, but now most things twee annoy the hell out of me--especially tweeness that has graduated to the Acutely Self-aware And Dyspeptic New Yorker stage, once all that whimsy has redounded upon the MPDGs and the constipated would-be intellectuals who lust after them as cynicism. And don't get me started on the parallel graduation from (often over-stylized) boutique "counterculturalism" to (often over-stylized) showcase for the aspirational lifestyles of the rich and aimless, blech


- Summer1
- Summer2
- Summer3
- Summer4
- Summer5
- Summer6

pretty ecumenical, but there are a few genres I dislike almost categorically. such as: "Walmart Country"; that schlocky "Adult Contemporary" stuff they sell at Starbucks; those drone-y, scream-y things whose names read like Halloween edition MadLibs; and the flaccid, teen-depressive likes of Iron and Wine, The Postal Service, Owl City, etc. (Treacle Wave). Alan Lomax <333 Burial is terrific, as are most remixes of Aaliyah songs, either by chance or--well, maybe I just have a weakness for them; rap about being less than courteous to cops (because ACAB); my favorite rapper to survive (and not be born in) the 90s is Freddie Gibbs (Nas just hasn't been compelling since Illmatic, and Lauryn Hill is bigger than rap); the new D'Angelo is good

no hard lines here; always up for new dishes, restaurants, etc., but I generally put healthy-ish stuff in my fridge

even when the pizza's pretty bad, it's still pretty good
The six things I could never do without
-the internet (while all the other kids are outside laughing and playing stick-and-hoop)

-music (filling up hard drives, going to shows)

-bar trivia (I have a long story about how we "won" Team Trivia nationals last year, but "didn't")

-books (in case sudden disaster leaves the world without normal bricks? always a boyscout.)

-my friends (or their paid surrogates)

-dictionaries/encyclopedias (mind the gaps)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
filthy lucre, bonfires of the vanities, Wordsworth, amour de soi v. amour-propre v. social media, the narrow range of opinion presented by the NYtimes, moving to Austin, whether Austin is still worth moving to, if Provo is the new Austin, was the old Austin really Nashville all along, what is too drunk to drive a space shuttle
On a typical Friday night I am
going for a run, showering, making myself a few drinks (sometimes objectively good stuff, more often shitty things rural high school kids pour into their eyes, or stupid novelty liquors I saw Amber Rose advertise on TV) and jamming out to whatever music has my attention for the week; before heading out in search of friends, live music, bars that don't pat you down, and setting sail on the good ship U.S.S. Cheap Beer
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
omg this whole time i've been calling her urethra franklin
You should message me if
Companion Stuff: you’re down to drink, go to shows*, play bar trivia, visit museums, hit up the Windy City Soul Club, and take long conversational/pensive walks through city parks

*it'd be way cool if you knew of some good sweaty local basement punk shows, too; I dig that

You Stuff: you don’t mistake a laundry list of affectations for personality, or traffic in tumblrs broadcasting contempt for those who are disadvantaged; and, on a similar note, left-leaning and hopefully a feminist to some degree (cuz I don't fux w/ dem Ann Coulter types); thoroughly enjoy the Onion and Colbert, tip well (and don't believe the livelihood of servers and so on should depend on the personal judgment of customers), aren't a wan agoraphobe afraid of concerts and crowds, intend to ask AT LEAST one question about me on our hypothetical date, you got a big-ass bookshelf, and are genuinely interested in, y’know, using this platform to meet people and stuff;

...and while I'm sure most of you are very nice, wonderful people, if there's no there there, it's unlikely I'll respond (unless horny and looking for answers at the bottom of a bottle, and in the arms of someone who is awful, but tolerably awful)

Message Stuff: and gosh, you've got something a tad more original to say than, "hey", "how's it going?", "cram me full of dick", or "hi :)"

Be forewarned: a lot of you (somewhat surprisingly) appear only to want dudes possessing the trite trappings of Glamorous Masculinity (ie: tattoos, motorcycles, practiced aloofness), of which I am obviously in arrears. Best of luck elsewhere!

NOTE: When did going on about whiskey become such a popular affectation? You're not Johnny Cash, darlings, you're milquetoasts mistaking the garment for the (wo)man.