Hey girls, what's poppin'? I'm Alex. I should probably get the
obvious stuff out of the way first: YES, I'm a pilot. I love to
fly. I just like to fly around. I have an expensive home and a
large plasma television. You probably couldn't afford it, but I
. When I'm not being a pilot (I should probably mention, I'M
A PILOT) I like to chill out in my sexy home, doing sexy things
. Sexually, I'm receptive to your
needs, and will adapt to suit you
. You want to poo
me? That's fine. You want to kiss me coyly? That's fine too. As
long as you poo on me
I am a pilot, I'm a pilot, and let's go sailing
What I’m doing with my life
Well, this is as good an opportunity as any to say that actually,
I'm a pilot. I love to fly. I'm probably flying as you read this
lololol!!?!?! I'm seeing this girl, but it's not serious, as she
insists on using contraception. I also like to shave my head, drink
port, and fall asleep infront of every fucking film Phil has
ever shown me. I think about complicated issues, and I pretend
to read New Scientist. I am a Jew.
I’m really good at
Reciting the Torah, not having any foreskin, being a pilot, making
love to you ;-), chillin' in my pad with a glass of port spinning a
dreidel, concealing my premature balding by shaving my head, and
hey, let's go sailing, yeah? Yeah.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I'm wearing a pilot's uniform. That I'm quite short. That
there's a very handsome gentleman following me around singing the
theme tune from Schindler's List, laughing and pointing. That I
live for the taste of the salty sea air. We should go sailing
sometime - I'll let you drop the anchor!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
A) I'm not really into BOOKS all that much. I'm a pretty busy guy,
and I have a short attention span. Believe me, I certainly seem
like the kind of guy who DOES read books, so it's like I
have the benefit of being the sort of person who reads without
having to do any of the work.
B) As mentioned, I have never seen a whole film. I have a rare form
of narcolepsy that is induced by watching good movies. However, I
certainly seem like the kind of guy who DOES watch movies.
We should have a glass of port and check out a flick or two.
C) I love music. I listen to it all the time. I've got a CD player
on my boat. You should come and check it out.
D) I love port, and meat. Port is smashing.
The six things I could never do without
Phil is my guardian angel. He is a shining star whose light
illuminates my life with a pure and eternal glow.
2. A Boeing 747
3. My sailboat
4. A glass of port
6. I'm a pilot
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Philly B and his soft hair. He's very handsome and intelligent, and
calm in a crisis. Sometimes I have this dream where me and Phil are
in a cave, and we're both in animal skins, right, and there's a
snake in my lap, and it's going to bite me, right, but Phil grabs
it and tames it, right, and the sun comes through his chocolate
brown hair and dances through his eyelashes, right, and then the
snake gets sick and vomits on my legs. Sometimes when I wake up I
can still feel the snake sick in my pantaloons.
On a typical Friday night I am
Flyin'. It's a Barcelona/Madrid this week. I don't know how I cope
lol!! Luckily, I've got a weekend of sailing to look forward to.
I'm a sailor at heart! Seriously though I'm a pilot.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Sometimes I feel sad that I'm Jewish. I feel like there's dirt on
my skin, but no matter how much I wash and scrub the dirt won't
come off. I file my horns down with a chisel, and hide my Jew-eggs
under the stairs so Phil can't find them and crush them. Phil says
that Judaism is a disease, and he is the cure.
You should message me if
You're attractive, but have sufficient additional - albeit lesser -
qualities for me to pretend that I'm interested in you for more
than just your bum. Or if you want to go sailing. No dogs.