i'm fast-talking, funny, witty, and full of pop-culture references. i'm very sarcastic and i tell it like it is, i don't really believe in sugar-coating something to protect anyone's feelings. you might not like me, but its totally cool because i probably won't like you either. i like people who are like me: snarky, sarcastic, intelligent, and quick-witted. if this doesn't describe you then we won't mesh well together.

i'm very political, very liberal, and very atheist. don't try to convert me and i don't want to hear whatever bullshit bill o'reilly is feeding his idiot army this week, thanks.

i like proper spelling and grammar so if you tYpE lYk DiS!!eleventy1one1one1!!, if you use any form of lolspeak (u can haz english book slammed into ur face), or if you're too lazy to throw in the extra 2 letters to spell 'you' rather than 'u' then just don't bother me because i'll think you're a moron. same applies to those people who can't correctly use 'they're', 'their', and 'there' or 'you're' vs. 'your' and any other simple grammar/usage.

i dig music, art, reading, and cooking. i like tv and select movies. i enjoy playing xbox 360, mostly the wwii-based cod series and gta. i don't have any trace of a southern accent despite being born and raised in mempho...it'd be sweet if you don't have one either.

don't tell me i look like kirsten dunst, i've heard it countless times before and i don't like the comparison. you aren't original if you tell me this, so just fucking don't. being told i look like her makes me want to punch a bitch.

writing. painting. keeping up with politics. working towards fluency in at least 3 languages other than english. reading as much as possible. being more awesome than you.

there are quite a few in each category, but i don't feel like divulging all of that info. just a few things i dig: homer's odyssey, memoirs of a geisha, night, pride and prejudice. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, wanted, citizen kane, the philadelphia story. butch walker/marvelous 3/1969, the beatles, modest mouse, the white stripes. buffy the vampire slayer (fuck twilight and true blood), arrested development, mr. show, good eats. if i think you're nifty enough then maybe i'll share more.

you really want to, but don't sit anxiously by your computer hoping for a response. i don't check this site out all too often...or ever. i'm not opposed to chatting with/meeting new people but i'm not looking to be anyone's mattress mama and i'm really not into dudes who are a decade or more older than me or majorly younger than me (so please don't waste either of our time by messaging me, kthxbai!). if you think i seem rad or if we dig similar stuff then message away or if you think i'm a bitch, go ahead and let me know, i enjoy a good laugh and that's really why this profile is still up. also, please pay attention to the fact that i'm really just looking for friends and not trying to jump into a relationship, but if we click and something more happens then ok, that's cool.

if you do decide to send me a message then don't immediately go on in detail about yourself as a way of introduction. i'm not blind nor am i illiterate, so if i'm intrigued by you then i can easily click on your profile and read for myself that you're 5'10" and that you enjoy spending your friday nights dressing up like a wizard or that your dad owns a dealership. its really lame to get a message from someone who immediately says "hey, i'm carl. i'm 5'8", i have brown hair and eyes. i like trains. my email is carl_o_rino@douchebag.com, hit me up baby." you will get ignored if you do this. for serious. ahh who am i kidding, you'll probably get ignored even if you don't do this.

if you message me and seem super rad or i'm feeling nice then i might tell you how to find me on facebook because i'm not big on the messaging system on here and again, i barely ever get on here.