My profile is also very long. As a result I have highlighted the important parts in bold like this. So if you don't want to read it all, because you don't have the time, aren't interested or can't be arsed, just read the stuff in bold. It's like the revision notes and cuts out all the "crap".
One of the things that has become apparent to me during my time on OK Cupid is that there are a lot of profile clichés involving interests, and in my previous description I tended to go on about them thinking it made me an interesting and unique person when in fact they just made me look like a cardboard cut-out clone sharing 90% of my interests with about 75% of the rest of the people on this site. So, with this in mind I have re-written my profile - still including them, but clearly pointing them out so it is clear I don't think these attributes make me interesting, talented or unique.
They might do, but it's not for me to say, and certainly just saying that I like things like traveling, photography and writing means very little as it could just be that my interest in writing doesn't stretch beyond some witty Facebook status update, or my talents in photography just involve applying an Instagram filter to a blurry photograph of a cat and my unique travelling experiences is something like puking up on a beach in Ibiza or backpacking across Australia, South East Asia or one of the many Latin American countries.
What I'm saying is without context simply stating your interests is meaningless, and while I like writing, photography and travelling those descriptions are far from how I enjoy them myself.
So here's the context:
Writing: Here is my news satire website I update when in the mood: Random Perspective
I have also written a novel (when I was 18, it's unpublishable though, but that's always the case with first novels) I am writing another now (obviously, this one is awesome and when I have completed it Neil Gaiman*, the corpse of William Shakespeare and God** will all bow down to me for usurping all three as the greatest writer of fiction in the history of time)
I'm also currently writing a script for a realistic mockumentary style sitcom about a superhero and a supervillain - I'm a couple of episodes in and once I've written all of them intend to film the first episode and start a Kickstarter fund raiser to generate money to film the rest
Photography: Here is a Picasa gallery of photos I have taken: My Picasa Gallery
Travel: And here, erm, is a Google Map showing a road trip I once took around Europe: Well, what else can I put?.
I have also been on other road trips – I like road trips, particularly around Europe – but the one I linked to is currently my 'headline act' but if I become a millionaire or some insanely rich and beautiful woman likes the kind of person who writes dickish-ranty self summaries and going on epic road trips then I am sure that it will eventually be beaten.
Right. Lesser cliches include the fact I want to make a movie (or movies) – but I don't necessarily want that to become a movie director/producer for life. Some of my ideas would only really work as movies, whereas others work as books and others work best retained within the confines of my brain and left there to torment me because if I let them escape I think the UN would impose a 100 metre restraining order on me from going near anyone.
You can see a movie I have made here: On YouTube... in HD! - but I would recommend downloading it from my webserver here: In much better quality
I would love to make computer games, in fact, I could see myself doing this on a more long term basis. But I wouldn't want to make Halo or Call of Duty. I'd like to develop my own ideas on a smaller scale. My dream would be to travel the world moving from one city to another each year funding myself from my work.
I also made some music. But I am not in a band, nor do I want to be in a band even if I occassionally have the longish hair and facial hair currently doing the fashion round on the indy scene. The difference with me is that whilst for those people it's fashion if I just haven't shaved or had my hair cut it's because I live in Norfolk where the hair dressers only open 9-5 on weekdays meaning the only way you can get your hair cut if you work is to take a holiday or catch the flu.
Anyway, the music I made is here. It's experimental weird shit. Right click and select save as - I did it just because I enjoyed playing around with SoundForge with short samples I created on the piano.
This year the fact I am not getting younger finally dawned on me. Not in a "OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO BE THIRTY, NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS OLD EVER BEFORE" kind of a way, but I have decided to start taking better care of myself.
So, I have drastically improved my diet, I cook all my own food from scratch and from fresh ingredients. I bought a bike with the intention of going on regular cycles around the surrounding countryside when the weather is good (which was disappointedly infrequent of late) Anyway, I have slimmed down a lot and feel a lot better for it. I'm not a fitness freak by a long shot, but I aim to have myself in much better shape by the end of the year, hopefully the best shape I have ever been in.
* Please note, I have not read any of Neil Gaiman's stuff, but I have just heard he is to writing what Chuck Norris is to God***
** Atheist joke. That the bible is fiction. Ironic because it requires God to exist.
*** Another Atheist**** joke. I don't believe in God.
**** Despite this I am not an 'Anyone who isn't an Atheist is an idiot and must be constantly reminded at every opportunity' Atheist. For fucks sake 'those-types-of-Atheists' just get over yourselves, if those people are as stupid as you think they surely that makes you even more of a brainless cretin who thinks they will be able to grasp the concept of the Theory of Everything. Einstein, Stephen Hawking and myself have all worked on that and if between us we can't crack it then you sure as hell are not going to be able to dumb it down enough into a form that makes more sense than a giant glowing guy with a big white beard getting bored one day and deciding to create the entire human race from some dust and a rib.