I am married and polyamorous. My husband and I date others (separately) on a regular to semi-regular basis. My marriage is a good, loving relationship. I want to add another relationship or two - not replace any. For me, polyamory means that all partners know about each other and are comfortable having a conversation and socializing together from time to time - no secrets, no cheating. Honesty, communication and integrity are very important to healthy relationships. Authentic expressions, relationships and experiences are important to me.
I enjoy participating in polyamory discussion groups, meet-ups, and other gatherings. I would be happy to give you information about them if you would like to be involved as well.
I identify as sex-positive. I enjoy attending sex-positive events and helping host them occasionally. Sometimes, I attend kink events. It's fine if these do not sound like things you would want to attend. We are all complex people. We don't have to share every interest.
I have two children. My older one lives in Seattle and the younger one lives with me. They are both young adults. I do a lot of things with them and thoroughly enjoy being their mom.
In the past, I have attended Unitarian Universalist churches in Portland, and elsewhere. I might do so again, sometime.
I'm a cake decorator and taught classes for about 1.5 years. I enjoy making fancy cakes, cookies and candies. I enjoyed teaching a great deal and still like doing activities with individuals and groups.
I lean toward the liberal side of liberal politics and sometimes, I like to be involved.
We've lived in Portland since 2001, having moved here from Tennessee - and I love it here. I was born and raised in the south and I'm happy to be away from the confines of southern cultural restrictions.
Before getting married and moving to Portland, I was a single parent for a good while. I worked for health departments and drug treatment centers around the issues of HIV/AIDS and other STDs. I spent over 10 years in communicable disease prevention/identification and treatment. I feel like I've heard everything around the issues of sexuality and relationships and nothing seems to shock me.
I am compassionate and interested in not offending the people I'm around - that southern breeding. I'm not shy and can talk about anything. I don't like conflict, but I don't run from difficult discussions either.
I am approachable, optimistic, and inquisitive
I resigned from a very time consuming volunteer position a few years ago and I've got more time on my hands, but I find it is filling up with fun things. I have not found another volunteer opportunity that strongly moves me. But, I'm looking.
I bake and decorate fancy cakes, cookies and make candies for friends and family for special occasions.
I host the Westside Polyamory Discussion Group at my house monthly.
I've been mushroom hunting several times and it's a great way to spend a day, walking around the forest observing.
I go dancing and play cards and board games. I love to go see live shows - theater, music, speakers, etc. Do you know of an interesting event to attend? Want to introduce me to something you like?
Hosting events and organizing outings (facebook events, for example). Have an idea? Let's plan something!
I'm good at listening and having meaningful discussions - using good communication skills is important to me - for me and for the people I have meaningful relationships with. Touch, snuggling and enjoying positive interactions with people - whether that means talking, going to events, playing board games, exploring sex, working a jigsaw puzzle together, driving, etc. Life is good - let's share it!
Personality wise, I think I come across as friendly and intelligent.
Non-Fiction Books: The Ethical Slut, Opening Up, Sex at Dawn, Emotional Blackmail, The Five Love Languages, The Four Agreements.
I'm not a TV watcher. I can watch TV - sometimes I do when I'm out of town or visiting relatives. But, at home, I very rarely watch TV. An exception may be late at night, watching Netflix or Hulu to watch a full year of episodes back to back. I've watched Warehouse 13, Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, Dr. Who, and other science fiction series. I am enjoying BBC Sherlock Holmes, Grimm and Game of Thrones, and a few others.
Movies - I watch more movies from Netflix, than in a cinema. Harry Potter films and Lord of the Rings, Sherlock Holmes and a few others I went to see at the theater. I enjoy both going out to the movies and watching them at home.
Some favorites are Princess Bride, What the Bleep Do We Know, Zoolander, Rat Race and The Big Lebowski. I may add more to this list as they occur to me.
Music - I like just about everything. I love to dance! Twirl me, baby! I want more opportunities to dance. Do you like to dance? If so, please contact me. I like dancing to local cover bands, 80's music, current popular music - CC Slaughters, anyone? Provided my knee is up to it, I would be up for going dancing just about anywhere - contra dancing, ecstatic dancing, local bar band etc. I've developed a keen interest in going to see bands and dancing my heart out to Blues, Funk, Soul, R&B, Motown, and related genres. Portland has a rich music scene. Going to listen to music in a jazz club is wonderful.
I listen to NPR in the car when I'm between books, or to a pop music station. When listening to music at home, I enjoy jazz, blues, soul, classical, world music, broadway musicals and music CD's my daughter puts together from her favorites.
I have Pandora Stations for Motown, Blues, Jason Mraz, Jonathan Coulton, Stevie Wonder and more. Clever lyrics + comedy is fun, too. So, Jonathan Coulton, Paul and Storm, Storm Large, Tim Minchin, Weird Al Yankovich, They Might be Giants, etc. all appeal to my sense of humor. I also think they are very talented musicians.
Food - I enjoy most cuisines. I can't do the really hot, spicy things, but other than that, I'm open. Particular favorites are Thai, Indian, Middle Eastern, and Mexican. I like to cook and enjoy preparing food together as a social activity. Know of a restaurant you want to try? Let's go explore!
This also means that I really don't want to do without CD Players, kitchen tools - including the mountain of cake, cookie and candy making/decorating tools and library of cookbooks that I have.
I tend to think of myself as an "earth mother" type, but there are a bunch of things that I enjoy having - like a good internet connection, cell phone and other toys. I rely on my iPhone quite a bit and would be lost without it.
I also don't want to do without my car, dressing up for costume events, games, etc. I'm not into doing without things unless there is a really good reason.
I love "What if . . . " scenarios. Excercises in imagination. No wonder I enjoy science fiction and fantasy so much. What gives a person joy? What produces wonder? How do we communicate best?
Who else will enter my life? Is it you? What will we do together? What will we learn and enjoy together?
I like engaging in life story discussions - what brought you to where you are now? What are some tough decisions that you have had to make? Why did you decide the way you did? Are you happy with the outcome? Would you do it differently now?
I like looking at how people arrive at conclusions about life and what belief systems, values and assumptions predicted the outcome. I am fascinated by how people work - what makes you "you". Sometimes, I like challenging those assumptions for myself and maybe for you, too.
If you are curious about polyamory, I would be happy to answer your questions. But, do your homework and check out these resources:
The Ethical Slut, Opening Up, More Than Two
Good for information about Polyamory:
Good for looking for local poly gatherings:
I almost always respond to messages and I'm not into putting people down.
I message people. I'm outgoing. I like to exchange greetings and emails about things we have in common. Don't be surprised if I look at your profile and send you a comment. It's nice if you write back. It doesn't necessarily mean that there is romance in the air, but it is being friendly - which is usually a good practice, in my opinion.
Also, contact me if you want to go dancing or do something else fun. I would love to find someone with whom to take blues dance lessons, Night Club Two Step, West Coast Swing or Latin dance lessons.