Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
There's just one thing I ever need to know about anyone: Would you
put your brain in a robot body? You'd have the strength of 5
gorillas, but you'd only be 5 feet tall.
OK, not really, but bonus points if you get the reference. I guess
I should be serious for a minute. I work in IT, but my degree is in
music. I play bass and have been looking for a new band for some
time now. Trying to find the right people to play with is an awful
lot like dating, honestly, so I'm dealing with twice as much
futility and bullshit as the majority of you. Weep for me. (Ha!
Jokes! Kidding! Sort of...)
I'm a sports fan, especially hockey. I consider myself a
nerd/geek/dork or whatever you want to call it, because I enjoy
several nerdy pursuits to varying degrees (video games,
sci-fi/fantasy, anime, the occasional tabletop RPG, etc.). Craft
beer? Yes, please.
I'll stop there for now, because I get wordy when I write. Plus
there's a bunch more shit for you to (probably not) read anyway!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Paying bills. Spending money. (Good thing I'm gainfully employed,
eh?) Becoming a rock star, if only I could find a band. Spending
time with my friends, who are by and large sarcastic assholes, but
not in a bad way. For example, we might say "fuck off" or "no, you
can't do that" instead of "bless you" when someone sneezes.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Bass guitar. Chili, which is really the extent of my cooking
skills, other than bacon and scrambled eggs (and I'm serviceable on
a grill). Spelling and grammar. Being a good friend. Being aware of
(most of) my own strengths and limitations. Getting bitten to death
by mosquitos in short periods of time. Being awesome. At least, in
my opinion, anyway.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People I'm meeting for the first time sometimes tell me I look like
somebody they know, like their father's brother's nephew's cousin's
I don't have the ginormous reddish beard anymore, but when I did,
that was usually the first thing. I know some of you are into
beards, but I'm probably not bringing mine back on anything
resembling a permanent basis. It would take some convincing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I used to have a bunch of shit listed here, but I've recently
become convinced that filling out these kinds of details makes
first dates more awkward than they should be. Because stuff like
this is right in the profile, bringing it up on a date is somewhat
redundant and feels like a waste of time. That leaves you having to
discuss more serious and/or personal topics, or just topics in
general that aren't very good for the first time you meet somebody,
and having to work with those harder topics while you're also
trying to get a feel for someone just adds an element of
awkwardness and pressure that isn't necessary.
So, yeah. Feel free to ask me about this stuff, but for the most
part, let's leave this for when we actually meet up. That way, we
can dedicate our brain power to just getting to know each other,
rather than have to divide it by searching for the right things to
talk about and say, because that would just make it even
All that said, I'll give a few hints, just to give you enough of an
idea as to whether we might have anything in common at all:
Movies: Slap Shot, Anchorman
Shows: Game of Thrones, @midnight
Music: Minus The Bear, TesseracT
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Friends and family
Electricity (I like technology too much to completely go
Air conditioning in the summer (see electricity above)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What to do when I grow up. Whether or not to sell my house,
considering I'd get a lot less than it's worth because it needs a
lot of work. I tend to analyze things, so I spend a lot of time
Let's see, what else...
How can we get people to realize that being entitled to an opinion
doesn't mean that every opinion is valid?
Why do people think the First Amendment protects them from being
fired for saying stupid shit?
Why do people think that being assholes toward service employees
will get them better service?
If twins come down with mono, do they have stereo?
Why is "putting pictures of me shooting guns in my online dating
profile" a thing for so many women? I know it's not everyone, but
sometimes it feels like it. I only mean this question with like,
25% snark. The rest is a legit question. Why is this such a common
thing? Is it to implicitly threaten potential dates, in the event
that one of them has nefarious intentions? Is it a signal that
you're open to dating Tea Party sympathizers? Do women just enjoy
making really loud noises? I don't get it.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Going to (or preferably playing) a show. Having some friends over
and firing up the hookah (the only kind of smoking I ever do, and
that's once every couple months or so at most, so don't worry, I
don't smell or taste like smoke). Anywhere with an awesome beer
selection and great food will get my attention. Maybe just relaxing
at home if that's what I feel like doing.
Or doing 2 chicks at the same time. I think if I were a millionaire
I could hook that up, too, 'cause chicks dig dudes with money.
Well, the type of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me
(I shouldn't have to put this here, but yes, that last part is a
quote from a movie, and thus, a joke.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'll go with a few minor things I haven't already mentioned, I
I like gingers. Not a dealbreaker by any means, but it's a
I bite my nails.
I live in the house I grew up in, but I don't live with my parents.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You think I'm awesome. Which would force you to assume a lot about
me just from reading some bullshit I wrote on a free dating site.
In other words, go for it! ;)
You have lots of common interests with me, the more the better.
Nerds/geeks/dorks definitely preferred. I've done the whole "not
much in common" thing with mixed results, but I've never dated
anyone I've had a large amount in common with, so I'm definitely
interested in giving that a try.
Your political opinions tend to lean left, or are at least
legitimately in the middle. I hate to be judgmental, but most
current right wing talking points double as idiot filters for me.
So... yeah. Totally judgmental on that. Sorry.
You do not in any way subscribe to the phrase "If you can't handle
me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best," because that's
just code for "I'm probably going to treat you like shit at least
some of the time, but I'm just going to use this pithy quote as
justification to blame the victim and put the onus on you to put up
with my bullshit, rather than take responsibility for how I treat
people I claim to care about."
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.