Still 21 after all these years...ever young, playful and adventuresome, I thrive on passion, compassion, empathy and paradox... always willing to be a solid and dedicated friend through both smooth sailing or rough waters, a do-gooder and wanna-be poet. Usually laid back, sometimes intense, naturally self-assured, I am attentive, easy and comfortable, kind-hearted, stable, reliable and a calming influence (the type of person you want around in any emergency), never overbearing or judgmental.
In boot camp many years ago, staying conscious on three broken hours of sleep a night and otherwise slogging up and down soft, deep, exhausting dunes all the days with an assault rifle and full packs strapped to our backs, the muffled shouts and grenade explosions from the training grounds reverberating through our helmets in a personal, sweaty and isolating hell-cave surrounding our overwhelmed brains (and it was a harder time than any front line I’d been to since)… they surprised us one evening by bringing an outsider to the base, perhaps to remind us what humanity once felt like… a young singer more or less our age, with shoulder-length dirty-blonde hair, and as she sang we each instinctively raised our weapons to a two-hand overhead position as if crossing a river to a better bank, and our arms swayed like loose wheat sheafs in the wind to the music whether it be good or mediocre and it was all good for that one hour, and I fell in love for that one hour with the feminine form of a young woman whose face I could barely see on the makeshift stage through a squint from the blackened dirt-mixed granular sweat now caked since morning to my brow where earlier it stung my eyes in the midday heat, but not then in the cooling night breeze for that one hour... and at that moment it was all the love I needed, and that’s how I am to this day, thankful for whatever measure of happiness, security and inspiration we may offer each other, as fleeting as it may sometimes be, grateful and giddy for her goodwill, for she surely didn't need to be there, nor did anyone force me to take this path of duty on which we met. And so it stands that love, passion, compassion, loyalty and taking responsibility for consciously made choices, remain my constant life theme.
But then, a serial dater's lament...
I know you, yet know near nothing of you. You appear from nowhere and vanish even more suddenly; a sensual, romantic apparition, leaving me with only annotated moments… the breathless open-windowed drive to meet you in the late-spring evening, and then in the morning light, in an instant you disappear, gone without a trace. Not knowing whether I played the patsy or the rogue, the mystery more than baffles me, this sad new-old story to tell of evanescent affection and of serendipity once again squandered. You may have jolted me into being madly in love for a moment, but I do not pine for you, as that rusty bucket has long ago filled. En amour, il y a toujours l'un qui embrasse et l'un qui offre la joue. Even so, I would risk this frightening unknown again, entering into it together with you. Maybe next time we will be soul mates, confidantes and lovers. Maybe next time will be different.
Je ne regrette rien, rien de rien. Car ma vie, car mes joies, aujourd'hui, ça commence avec toi.
As for the reason we're all on this site, there's no telling how things may develop between a man and a woman... open communication, common interests and physical attraction may just chemically interact to spark true friendship and a romantic relationship. If so, on the intimate side, I love to love and be loved, to gently touch and be touched. Your satisfaction and happiness will matter to me more than my own, as it should be. I remain vital and energetic, open-minded and patient, caressing and considerate, respectful, confident, yet humble in your presence. Hardly submissive, I nonetheless take instruction well. Lovemaking is as much about what happens before and after. "O lente lente currite noctis equi." Run slowly, you horses of the night, for magic draws power between dusk and dawn. I will do my best to take your breath away, and always remain open for you take mine. As for sex, I'll admit to being more of a marathon runner than a sprinter, though both can be good for the sake of variety. Having enough free time to savor and enjoy life's pleasures should be important to us both, and coming away exhilarated and exhausted from an occasional long lost weekend, in my opinion, can be an excellent adventure.
So... a little (more) about me. Despite this exercise in grandiloquence, please know that in person I am empathic, a good listener, non-judgmental... a basic, solid, low-maintenance quiet guy, a soft-spoken Sam Spade who once served as a front-line diplomatic officer negotiating for peace, sometimes while under hostile fire. A proverbial lumberjack who believes that a man should be a man even when alone in the woods, I'm a regular Joe and humbly prefer to be in the company of casual and easygoing people.
Armed with a wry, ironic sense of humor, you can sometimes catch me humming a tune or singing outright (especially on a long drive), just because. With my two daughters in their 20's and on their own (more or less), and with my son spending the year overseas, I've become a novice empty-nester, enjoying lots of free time. Being equally at ease with good conversation as with trusting silence, it may also be important to note, as one who believes that laughter cures most ills, that I will do my best to give you cause to chuckle at least a few times a day, and to guffaw out loud at least once or twice during that same period. My stories tend to be humorous. Write me, and I'll send you something funny in return. (The two examples in this essay are NOT a case-in-point, as I wrote them with more of an earnest than happy intent).
In conclusion, with all due respect for noble intentions, ya gotta have fun in life. No human can guarantee a happily ever after as in the fairy tales, but even if... you can only get there one day at a time. A worn cliche with a twist... Live every day as if it were your last, for one day you're sure to be right; and as forever might end tomorrow it seems good advice to do everything possible to enjoy today. Carpe Diem.