I'd like to find Cupid, shove 4 or 5 of his arrows up his ass and put him out of business.

I like food. Food is always good. You can tell I like food by my incredible growing ass. I like procrastinating and pissing people off. I enjoy chasing children out of my yard with a fork and misspelling words to irritate you. I often use public restrooms for cigarette breaks on cold and rainy days. I like bongo drums (tho I do not play them) and I think dogs are smarter than most, well, all men and most women. I find the end of the world interesting and have evacuation plans in place for when it happens, because I like to be prepared for anything. I like hemp... jewelry and palm reading. And reading in general. I like to read Walgreen's weekly advertisements and cereal boxes, especially the nutrition information. And finally, I like to use the word like as many times as I feel like.

Highly important things. Things like planning how I will overthrow the worlds governments and rule as supreme lord and master! If you are also planning a take over we should share ideas. I am thinking about starting a "mad scientist/dictator/supreme overlord" sewing circle. Our meetings will begin two weeks from next Wednesday. Let me know if you are interested and I'll tell you what potluck item to bring.

Avoiding doing things. I should be cleaning my apartment, returning library books, finding out about financial aid, waxing my legs, supporting our troops, paying some bills, writing thank-you letters for last years Christmas presents, sponsoring a child, re-newing my drivers license, curing AIDS, and taking over the world. Instead I am playing around on the internet and watching a documentary about amoebas.

That I don't look as crazy as people say I am. Honestly I am two steps away from being the crazy lady on the street corner with sticks in her blue wig screaming at people to give back my macaroni picture of Abraham Lincoln. I often am told, you look like the poster child for girls gone wild. The sweet innocent girl that ends up table dancing at your party.

Music - God, I hate writing about my musical preferences... so many people judge you based only upon what they read here. If I put Pop, Rap, or Country here suddenly 80% of people wont talk to me! Since when did ones music taste determine who/what kind of person they are? I'm going to say that I will give anything a listen and if I like it, it's good, and if I hate it, fuck you and your shitty taste. Okay, maybe that's a bit harsh seeing as it'll be hard to get me to hate anything.

Movies - I don't really go see too many movies. Mostly because nothing ever looks good. Hollywood has really started to suck. I do watch a lot of indie flicks... I love the Sundance film channel and the like. I also love old movies. I think my dad is to blame for that. My numero uno fave movie of all time has to be "Hedwig and the Angry Inch", followed by my number 1.5 favorite movie "Pulp Fiction". If you haven't seen either, you are missing out, I highly recommend them. Finally, I recommend you all go out right now and rent/buy a movie called "The Bad Seed" from good ole 1953. If you like psychological thrillers, watch this oldie... beats the pants off most the crap Hollywood has churned out in the last while and comes in at number 2 on my list.

Television - I used to watch documentaries (History, Discovery, TLC) but since the channels that show them have been playing the same re-runs over and over I have seen nearly all of them around 10 times. I liked to watch the Sopranos and Six Feet Under on HBO. I watch a lot of random crap On Demand lately. Mostly I don't really watch TV so much as it is ALWAYS on in my house. I think I just like the idiot box to fill the silence around here.

Books - YAY books. I like books. No one judges you based on books... I think. I have lots of books, and I have read lots more. It used to be one of my great passions in life. Now I don't have life passions. I have reasons to subsist. Go figure. I just finished reading "I Love You Beth Cooper" and found it rather amusing. Every time I went to the book store it called to me. I guess they are going to make it inot a movie or made it into a movie. I have this feeling the movie is going to blow. And before that I re-read Less Than Zero because Bret Easton Ellis is a twisted man and I love it.

1. My family. They are the people that will always support and believe in me no matter how bad I screw up.

2. My friends. You know who you are. You are there to drag me out of the house kicking and screaming so I don't sleep all day.

3. My sense of humor. I take after my mom, and consequentially my sense of humor is crude, vulgar and dirty. I love my mom.

4. Books. I need to read. Once I start I cannot stop. I can read an entire 500 page novel in one night if no one pries the book out of my hands.

5. My phone. If I had to choose between life without my phone and life without the internet I'd keep my phone, but they are pretty close.

6. Documentaries. They are the only form of TV I willingly watch.

How to end the world or save the world from ending. They go hand in hand. This may mean I am losing my mind. If you should find it please drop it in any mailbox. Postage guaranteed.

Thinking about what to do, discussing it at length only to end up doing nothing. Gotta love being lazy.

Well, if something is private and then I admit it on here, it wont be private anymore, so whats the point? Anyway, I have a few skeletons in my closet. As well as on top of my TV, on the book shelves, on my night stand and on the desk. I collect them. If you give me a skeleton I will be your best friend forever and ever!!!

You can sit across a table from me, chew your food with your mouth closed, laugh at my fucking jokes, and that's it. And if you can peg what that is ripped off from you should definitely message me, we will go have $5 shakes. Your treat of course.