Everyone does "favourite" because that's what the category says.
Fuck that. I'm going to put my LEAST favourite, because I can
narrow those down to one.
Book: "Not With a Bang, But With A Whimper" by Theodore Dalrymple,
a book which is like a novelisation of the Daily Mail. Reading this
made me pray for a Fahrenheit 451-inspired fascist regime to take
power and burn all the books in the hope that this one got burned
with it. Dalrymple himself is a thoroughly joyless little bellend
and reading his stern denunciations of anything that might be
considered edgy or fun made me want to drive stakes through my
Movie: "Lady In The Water", an illogical, ill-thought out piece of
shit which is the answer to the question "what would happen if a
bunch of people did absolutely everything except what would make
the most logical sense in any given situation, and it was still
really boring?" It was apparently derived from a children's book M
Night Shyamalan wrote for his children, which I believe actually
qualifies as legally prosecutable child abuse. I didn't even pay to
see it but I want my money back.
TV Shows: The Big Bang Theory. I could tolerate the "HA HA HE SAID
SOMETHING SCIENCEY WUT A NERD" basis of the show if it weren't for
the fact that it's so stultifyingly unfunny I'd laugh more watching
my entire extended family die in a nuclear war that I was slap bang
in the middle of. If you laugh at this and think it's because
you're a geek, you're not actually a geek, you just recognise some
things from geek culture, much in the same way that enjoying
listening to Kanye West does not make me black.
Music: Scouting For Girls, tied for first place with Katy Perry.
The former have released the same song over again, that song being
called "The Same Piano Chord Over Again With The Same Words Shouted
Over Again By The Same Mockney Cockface", and that song also being
shit; the latter has no discernible talent while also courting fake
controversy to sell her terrible, mind-killing records. Girls
kissing girls is only controversial if you're Theodore
Food: Cheese. Or rather, pretty much everything except mild
cheddar, mozzarella and Mini Babybel. It's gone off milk and it
stinks of feet. Quite why anyone would want to put something that
smells of feet in their mouth without actually being a foot
fetishist I don't know, but people do, and there's a whole section
of supermarkets dedicated to people who want to put foot smells in
their mouth. Fucking weird.