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26 Pittsburg, KS Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 22-30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Jul 7
5' 6" (1.68m)
Body Type
Average build
Judaism and it’s important
English, French (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
[EXCITED DRONING]Hello there and welcome to what might be the single most useless page you have read all day! I am Chris, I will be your narrator for this portion of the tour. Please keep hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times and do not feed the droids. This Boeing 737-800 is equipped with eight emergency exits. If you feel you have reached this page in error, please navigate away from the current page. As always, thank you for flying Pan-Am.

Let's spin this thing up for once. Hi. I'm Chris. I hope it's been noticed by now that I'm a bit of a screwball. I'm in graduate school right now, working on my Master's degree. Just aced my first semester. When that's done, I hope I get the hell out of Pittsburg and into a teaching job or off to a doctoral program. But that's three semesters away. (The previous sentence was written June 2015, FYI. There's no timestamp with this stuff. Thought it would help) In the meantime, dear viewer, I'm stuck here. For better or worse, sickness or health, stupid frat people, or not. Oh. That's important. I am in no way shape or form a frat boy. And I don't bite. I'm up on immunizations and regularly scheduled maintenance. My whole point in being in Pittsburg is to become a history teacher. Or professor. I like the word teacher more. One can profess something without teaching it, which defeats the entire purpose. In any case.

I've got a few hobbies that eat away at my mind. I am a gearhead. The correct term might be petrolhead, but gearhead works. I'm obsessed with cars, and I am also an amateur horologist. (I don't study streetwalkers. That's the job of the clinic) I was a clockmaker's apprentice for a while. I still dabble from time to time, though my toolset is incomplete and the apartment in Pittsburg is poorly lit with many nonfunctional outlets. So much for lamps. I've got a mind for the mechanical, so if you want to know just how a thing works, I'm probably the guy. I will do my best to keep such mechanical and automotive nonsense to a minimum. (Unless you're the sort that brandishes that kind of talk) I enjoy reading. I read quite a bit. Books are an addiction, and for once I have more shelves than books. It's rather frightening, and it will not last. I write stuff from time to time, though most of it is likely garbage and purely for me, or to get the brain rolling. The assignments very well could be garbage also. I love to cook. food is to be communal. It is to be enjoyed. And I enjoy making it. Perhaps 'assembling' might be the better term. I doubt I grew the wheat. If I have been doing so, that would be trippy. You won't find a better Vodka sauce than mine. It's pork fat deglazed with an alcohol fire. And other stuff.

I bet this is the part where you wonder whether or not that religion bit was a typo or whether or not I was paying attention. Given the previous part about the pork fat. I don't keep kashrut. Sooner or later, every attempt has been defeated by properly made meatballs. Which then get covered in cheese. If I'm going to break the rules, might as well roll hard in the, erm, sauce. In other words, attempt to convert me back at your own risk. It ain't happening. I'm not the tall, strong christian southern cowboy man. I don't have a truck. I'm no farmer. But I'm no city slicker either. Let's be honest, thank God the south lost, and there is no way it will ever rise again. I'm a Yankee. If you want to show me a rebel flag, the stars had better be in a circle in the top corner. Okay. Still here? My, you are indeed persistent. New York city makes my skin crawl. Too crowded, and I can't see the sky. I can't stand Philly. My favorite season is not Autumn. It's a depressing time. I love winter, though. Maybe a year in Fargo froze all my good sense. I get overly excited when there's a bunch of snow. Driving is involved.

I do not tolerate screamo music. It's got to have a funky bassline. But it can't be dubstep. Or EDM. This is a field where I'll lay out the no's. Other than those things, it's hard to do wrong. I may love funk, but I really like a variety. I love the B-52's. We should Karaoke sometime. I can do Kate, Cindy, or Fred. Yes, that's right. My Kate's better than my Fred.

Questions? Comments? Please fill out the box and click "Send Message." Someone will be right with you.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
it's full speed until I'm a History Professor.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I love to cook and entertain. Cooking helps me keep my sanity. I'm a fairly decent snowboarder, but I don't get to go nearly as often as I would like.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm usually told that I look like Harry Potter. Beyond that, I'm told that my hair is crazily unruly and that I have an intense, wild-eyed look. It puts some people on edge. Others find it highly entertaining.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'm an inveterate bookworm. Favorite books:

Wise men and their tales, The Kite Runner, Breakfast of Champions, (Anything Vonnegut, really) , Wandering Star, The Secret Speech, The Stone Gods, Battletech/Mechwarrior novels, Clive Cussler books, Stephen Coonts books, Heschel, Terry Pratchett, and The Harry Potter series.

TV Shows:
Top Gear! But other than that, TV is mindless drivel. Oh. Justified. I love that show. There's stupid, then there's Dewey.

Movies: Hugo, Wall-e, A Bout de Soufle, Le Crime de monsieur Lange, La règle de jeu, Lawrence of Arabia, The Godfather, American Graffiti, Star Wars, Goodfellas, Inglorious Basterds, Captain America, The Magnificent Seven,

Music: Cream, Jamiroquai, Led Zeppelin, Parliament/Funkadelic, The B-52's, ZZ Top, Judas Priest, Elton John, Johann Strauss II, Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov, Tom Lehrer, Grateful Dead, Pepe Deluxé, Joe Pass, Curtis Mayfield, Ozzy Osbourne, Stray Cats, Lee Rocker,

Video Games: Oblivion, Skyrim, GTA V, Mass Effect, (the whole series) Fallout: New Vegas, Ratchet & Clank

Food: Middle eastern is my favorite.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. People. I firmly believe that there is nothing more antithetical to our very humanity than aloneness. There is nothing worse than feeling alone.

2. Music. I may not be very musically inclined, but it makes life so much better. So many memories are tied to various songs. While driving on a warm, sunny day I feel compelled to blare Cream's cut of Crossroads with the sunroof open, just like I did the first day I had my first car.

3. A set of screwdrivers and ratchets and sockets. One never knows when a thing needs fixing.

4. Comedy. Life is funny. Sometimes it's hilarious. Without Humor, life is really dull.

5. Books. I love reading.

6. Snow. Without snow, there is no winter. Without winter, there is no snowboarding. Without snowboarding, there is a longer period of wanting to snowboard. One could say that it's an addiction.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Life, Time, and the nature of the universe. Cars. Enlightenment,. Reality. Staying positive. Food.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Usually hanging out with friends after I go to synagogue.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I love station wagons. They are the bomb.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- You would describe yourself as a nerd.
- You know the significance of the following sequence of numbers: 15486372 OR 12784563
- You have green eyes
- You are Jewish
- You have curves
- You think you can make me laugh
- If you can handload a mainspring barrel without gloves. No really. If you can do it, I will make you a batch of cookies.