Let me start by saying that I am proud of being Marine and will upload a more recent photo, but I will keep that one up to justify my blunt form of dialogue to follow... And furthermore will be more impressed the further down the page you make it!
As a personal favor, I would really appreciate a message letting me know what paragraph I lost you at! Thanks in advance!
1. You are so busy with your life that you signed up for a dating site, so why the hell waste each others time? I will run through my known faults to spare us any wasted messages, texts, and what not!
2. I am horrible at spelling, not because I'm stupid or lazy, but because dyslexia wasn't a well known issue for kids growing up in the 80s-90s.
3. I have been called "the most cold hearted asshole I've ever met" by no less than 4 people. I have compassion, some things even make me sad at times, but I don't let things bother me like most people think I should...
Still here... It gets better... Or worse depending.
4. Kids - I have them. They don't live with, or near me, but I do talk to them daily and see them via tango or FaceTime. Their mom and I get along great, and talk almost daily as well. I'm not some deadbeat dad BTW, but if you ever think you'd put me in a position to choose you or them... Darlin', that choice was made the day they were born, and you don't have a prayer in changing that!
5. Change, people don't change... Only their circumstances do. I'm open to input, and will listen intently to what you have to say, and even do it your way, at your house, but change is never easy and should be approached with caution...
Still here! I'm moderately impressed!
6. I have an unparalleled memory, I remember almost everything I see and hear. I am able to multitask, and still engage in meaningful conversation. This conversation may seem extremely one sided with you doing most of the talking, but I will interject questions from time to time that will piss you off to the point you will want to slap me in the face... with a chair.
7. I'm not clingy enough, I'm emotionally there but I don't get all "jealous" when you go out with your friends, or I won't go out with you and your friends... They are your friends... If they come in a package deal I should be warned upfront... But if you have that one friend that tags along everywhere... Save us the time, because the first dumb or snide remark at me, & my cold hearted ass is going to unload just enough questions to ensure me as a 3rd wheel is never an option again... Ever. I will never intentionally embarrass you, but it will happen.
8. I am a workaholic, my job is what pays my bills, and is what is preparing me for retirement. I'm climbing the corporate ladder quicker than most... I will, however, never make a date that I can't keep, and expect the same courtesy! Things coming up is understandable... That being said time is our most valuable resource, you never get extra, nor do you get any back. So if something came up... a text within that hour would be acceptable, otherwise, 5 hours later, 45 minutes before the date... Don't even waste your time... You've already wasted enough of mine...
Wow! Two left in this essay!!!
9. There is no grey area for me... Right is right and wrong is wrong, once all of the variables are factored in. I can be wrong and will admit/accept that fact. I have difficulty with wishy washy people...
10. I can't read between the lines at all (there is a lengthy story to prove this), I don't get subtle hints, and I don't speak stupid... You say, "oh, no babe, you don't have to get me anything for Christmas/birthday/anniversary" and you proceed to get pissy because I got you exactly what you asked for?... I'm forewarning you now... You made it through the first 10... Congrats! Next 10!