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27 M Staten Island, NY

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 1:03pm
Hispanic / Latin
5′ 2″ (1.58m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
As a romantic partner: I'm a thrill-seeking, passionate, hopeless romantic, with a great sense of humor, who believes in reciprocity.

As an individual person: I am, indeed, an educated and "book smart" person, with two degrees, who loves suits, bow-ties and pocket squares - but I'm also waaay street savvy. I've been a sneaker-head, skate-boarding, train-hopping, graffiti-writing-juvi-record-having, black-eye-giving, knife-toting, pot-smoking, under-age-liquor-drinking, teen-night-club-going, high school drop out.

I find that I'm too street for my school friends and too school for my street friends -- I'm J. Cole. I'm Childish Gambino. I'm Kanye -- all without the misogyny, of course.

Also: I would, of course, prefer the subtleties of meeting someone organically in person, holding a hand, kissing a cheek, remembering a perfume, hearing the music of a woman's laughter -- but this is how people meet now, so let's go!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Day job: College Counselor. I help students get into college and stay there.

Night job: Freelance production assistant and production coordinator. I'm also taking sketch/improv at the UCB, too. I write, act and do comedy.

I kinda do a lot.

Bike riding, running and hitting the gym as much as 4 times a week.

Life goals: write comedy for television. Run SNL. Be the male Tina Fey.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making people laugh.
Unclasping bras.
Annoying conservative squares.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My height.
My glasses.
My sense of humor.
That I swear a lot and make fun of everything.
My handkerchiefs. I always keep one handy.
And whatever dope nikes I'm wearing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Junot Diaz. Vonnegut. Cormac McCarthy.

Movies directed/written by Tarantino, Scorsese, Nolan, Kurosawa, Sorkin, among others.

The Apartment. Kill Bill. The Matrix. This list doesn't have an ending, so, three is okay, right?

The Wonder Years, Orange is the New Black, House of Cards, Derek, Louie, Game of Thrones, Walking Dead.

Neo-Soul, hip-hop and EDM. There isn't much music I dislike, but that's what I mainly keep in rotation.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
An audience.
A crowded movie theater on opening night.
My friends.
Bear hugs.
Google maps.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why I can't meet a girl who wants to thug out to Jay-Z, but also reads. Who wants to dissect and discuss auteur film, but also wants to go to SneakerCon with me. Who wants to go to comedy clubs and UCB, but also get drunk and dance all night at a hip-hop or latin club. Who can say "that shit is dope" and also "I love the complexity of the ideas presented in this film."
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Writing. Performing. Working. Drinking. Smiling.

Loving my loved ones.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I unapologetically love curvy, educated, Latinas with street smarts and red lipstick.

I'm a high school drop-out with two college degrees - ask me about it.

I've been the same height since the 8th grade, but that didn't stop me from giving David Torres (a much deserved) black eye.

I bite; you'd like it.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–35
  • Located anywhere
  • For casual sex
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Want to ride bike with me.

You're an educated woman with street cred, someone who gets it.

You want to take advantage of everything at Brooklyn Bridge Park.

You're interested in watching a free summer movie in the park with me with requisite cheese and wine picnic.

You want to have one of those star gazing moments - you know the one, staring up at the stars out somewhere laying on the grass talking about the universe, cheek to cheek and holding hands...

You like to kiss. Kissing gets less attention as you get older, maybe because it's so intimate. I'm not afraid of intimacy. You shouldn't be either. So let's make out like teenagers breaking curfew in a public place and gross out anyone passing by. Fuck them anyway, right?