32 Portland, OR
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My self-summary
Early Jan arrival in Kauai. Taking a multiple month Winter respite/sabbatical. Portland natibe. Would love to meet a fun, adventurous, witty, chill, real, down to earth tour guide(s).

If this, in anyway, makes you smile, chuckle, laugh, or giggleventilate. We might get along.

Wanna check out Christmas ships on the Columbia Slough? 7pm? House boat? We might even be able to reach out and touch them as they pass by.

Winter bearding in progress.

Building a landscape company with a buddy of mine. Botany. Companion planting. Auquaponics. Apiaries. Garden time. Sustainability. Conservation. These get my heart pumping.

Hot Springs? Austin? Bagby? Brietenbush? Carson? Toketee? Let's go!!!

Old man trapped in a young mans body.

Native born and bred Portlandian. I've spent the last decade working up and down the West coast in environmental education, outdoor interpretation, outdoor rec., naturalist/adventure guiding, 1:1 special needs, medically fragile students, and wilderness therapy.

I've been back in Stumptown now for about 5 years. No matter what, I never seem to get tired of this place, let alone bored.

“I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.

I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.

I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.

I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.

I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds.

I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.

I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.

I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.

I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.

I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.

I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.”--Neil Gaiman
What I’m doing with my life
Living it up and living it out.
I’m really good at
making people laugh
cleaning my ears
giving intentionally bad directions to tourists
playing with others
being sarcastic/deadpan
outdoor adventures
knife fights
The first things people usually notice about me

and claw hand
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
to kill a mocking bird
on the road
the prophet

cool hand luke
tommy boy
the sand lot

i don't watch a whole lot of television

mo town
hip hop

The six things I could never do without
I spend a lot of time thinking about
flying through the cells of my body in a little ship
On a typical Friday night I am
in the woods
dog walk
live show
You should message me if
I'm all about having fun, adventuring, learning, playing, laughing, punning, and eating. If you feel compelled to join me for any of these things, I'd be pretty ok with hearing from you.

Also if you want to play at the place I volunteer and work. It's a nature preserve on the Oregon Coast, just north of Lincoln City...I like having visitors who are up for having their minds blown. (Hiking, kayaking, beach bonfire, mushroom hunting, fishing, crabbing, wood splitting, surfing, wood working, laughing, etc...)

You think you can keep up.

Are interested in building a tiny house with me.