As we all know writing about self is pretty daunting especially if you are trying to be honest! Any way I will give it a try.
I recently moved from Midwest to Boston to start my academic career and I am pretty excited about it.
I enjoy cold beers, good food and intelligent company. I am not really good at small talk or sending first messages that stand out.
I am an INTJ, but I can be fun to hang out with if you have the patience and are not too bothered by initial awkwardness (I am working on it, trust me).
I am where I am because I have worked for it.
I am at a point in my life where I know what I am looking for from life, and I am working to achieve that
I guess I will keep working on this section

Also, please tell me if you have ever seen a writeup that says "I am a lazy couch potato with no ambition or dreams and I spend most of my time playing video games / being online because I am a social recluse.

Working, running, balancing my act!

being scientific, analytical, cracking jokes that most find offensive/ not funny/ nerdy

Depends on the people and their interests

Books: I grew up reading Russian fairy tales, Medical/ sci-fi thrillers, I think I have graduated to non fiction and love reading Dawkins and Hitchens.
Movies: Shawshank Redemption, Se7en, Pulp fiction (most movies by Tarantino), Woody Allen, Christopher Nolan, David Fincher...
Shows: Southpark, Arrested Development, I was into Lost for a while, The daily show
Music: Classic rock, Elvis, Sinatra, Beatles, Lady gaga, Songs from South park
Food: This is simple, I like tasty food.

Running
Spicy food
Irish Whiskey
News
Books
Movies

Why the drivers in this city honk at me while crossing the street but not at the ducks doing the same!

If not working-
at the gym
or running along Charles (seriously its pretty awesome)
or on a beer fueled cooking spree while listening to music; may be singing along Sinatra/ Freddie in an Indian accent
All of the above.

The best place to write scientific manuscript is my commode

1. You like spicy food and good beers.
2. You can have a meaningful discussion about serious issues (I don't consider celebrity talk as one of those issues).
3. You can challenge me about the logical fallacies of the process I used to form my opinions.
4. If you would rather be honest than polite.
5. And if you live/ work close to Fenway. It is a new job for me and the day usually ends around 7-8PM, so grabbing a beer somewhere close is more appealing than driving through traffic / catching a T .
:-)