Hi, I'm Keely. I talk to strangers, they have an affinity for sharing their deepest inner problems with me. Who knows. I nom on Little Caesers and get free breadsticks from illusive guido hotties. Sometimes I sing Violent Femmes in the shower when I feel angsty. Vegans are ridiculous.

^I didn't write that. Apparently this is a prime example of people's impressions of me. I'll take what I can get.

Disclaimer: If you're looking for some glorious mega-babe with DD's who's just naturally sexy; I'm not it. If you enjoy awkward, silly little (hopefully adorable) nerdy girls with wavy ruby locks and big smiles, please proceed.

I go to college and study things. I teach German and that's how I afford my 40's and cheap champagne. I do a lot of research regarding international refugee legislation.

Huh. Well, if this doesn't make me feel cocky, then I don't know what would. I'm awesome at ensuring the people around me have a super duper time. I'm also pretty good at Yoshi's Story; serious bragging-rights right there. I also paint, draw, and sculpt; I don't want to say I'm really good at it, but it's something I enjoy and do a lot of.

I suppose it depends on whether they're looking at me from the front or the back. I have lips the size of Jupiter and my booty is pretty ghetto.

I love books in general. When I was a youngster, I watched Beauty & the Beast over and over again because Belle is a mega-babe and she's smart; I fell in love with the idea of having a library of my own. I love the Lord of the Rings trilogy and think the film adaptations are remarkable as well. I can quote Fight Club until I turn blue. I watch a lot of foreign films and whatnot. Music wise.... I'm still stuck in the 90's and always sing along with the Nirvana CD that never leaves my stereo. Food. I dig that stuff. Except onions... Those are yucky... Onyucky. Oh, Korean food makes my mouth asplode with delight and ice cream mochi makes me squeal like a little girl.

Wine, books, my cat Bowie, high fives, grunge, and sushi.

Spaceships and moon fairies.

Teaching people how to Gangnam style. Until someone pukes, then I'm holding their hair for them.

You're not a cyborg.