Well, I don’t have an act . . . and here it is:
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29 • M • Cambridge, MA
- Last Online
- Online now!
- 5′ 7″ (1.70m)
- Body Type
- Mostly vegetarian
- Working on Ph.D program
- Relationship Status
- Relationship Type
- Mostly non-monogamous
- English (Fluently)
Well, I don’t have an act . . . and here it is:
No, not Tufts.
Basic pleasure model. Socially constructed for optimal performance. Hopefully not this guy. Or this guy.
Also noticeable are my unusually long and thick . . . eyelashes. Despite rumors to the contrary, I assure you that they’re real, and they’re spectacular.
I dress well, too; homeless people are constantly complimenting me on my clothing.
¹ For those of you slavishly devoted to nineteenth-century prescriptivist grammar, this sentence does not end with a preposition: it ends with a trace.
² No, neither does this one: it ends with a particle.
I grew up on stuff like Portnoy’s Complaint, Annie Hall, Seinfeld, and Curb Your Enthusiasm. So I cannot but like Robby Hoffman, who offers her own unique spin on this “tradition.” And she sounds uncannily like Larry David. While we’re on the subject of comedians, Tig Notaro and DeAnne Smith are also great.
Right now I’m reading Ariel Schrag’s Adam, “the most twisted, hilarious, and deeply gratifying reading experience I have had in a long time,” says Alison Bechdel, “which comes close to but just misses being problematic,” according to Carolyn Yates.
Of the recent films that I’ve seen, In a World . . . and Concussion both stand out.
Orange Is the New Black (Team Pipex, Team Paystee), Arrested Development, 30 Rock, and Veronica Mars are a few of the television series from the past decade that I enjoy. Broad City has its moments. My sister works on Agents of SHIELD, so I have to watch it.
I watched a lot more television growing up; I was practically raised by sitcoms, in fact, including both special and very special episodes of Blossom.
I like television in bite-size chunks as well: The Actress, The Adventures of Tiny Pineapple, Anyone But Me, Ask a Slave, BAMF Girls Club, The Burg, CTRL.ALT.DEL, Esther with Hot Chicks, F to 7ᵗʰ, Girltrash!, High Maintenance, Idiotsitter, Kam Kardashian, Kelsey, Lesbros, Let’s Talk about Something More Interesting, Little Horribles, The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl, My Drunk Kitchen, The Slope, Two Guys Named Josh, Unicorn Plan-It, The Unwritten Rules, Vag Magazine, Very Mary-Kate, and Words with Girls.
Funny feminiphopsters™ like Hand Job Academy, Awkwafina, and DeAnswer make me laugh, as do Garfunkel and Oates, who now have their own TV series!
I graduated from the same high school as Regina Spektor. That’s got to give me some cred, right? And my gradmother was Gustav Mahler’s second cousin, which either gives me more cred or takes away the cred I just got, depending on whom you ask.
¹ Secretariat, of course, because it’s the life of the party.
² Challenger. Who doesn’t like an underdog?
³ It would have to be the French New Wave, i.e., La Nouvelle Vag.
⁴ Quarks. I’m accepting of everyone’s quarks.
Even a casual perusal of other profiles reveals that there is a heated debate going on as to whether there even is such a thing as a typical Friday night! I do not wish to take sides on this divisive issue. What I will say is that even if there is, in fact, such a thing as a typical Friday night, it would be uninteresting. Who wants to hear about something typical?
The first time I saw the spelling trans*, I spent hours looking for the footnote. ;)
The present profile is my second on this site. The first received a great deal of critical acclaim; one reviewer even hailed it as a “postmodern masterpiece.” I’m going for a different aesthetic with this one—less hysterical realism, more mumblecore—and I’m worried about the sophomore slump.
I’m also concerned that this one may be just a little too accessible. Have I sold out?
* This is not a footnote.
- Girls who like guys
- Ages 18–40
- Near me
- Who are single
- For long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
you don’t want to own anyone or to be owned by anyone, except maybe in a BDSM context;
you fight vampires or solve mysteries, preferably both;
you’d like to arrange a three-dimensional date, because neither of us like to message back and forth endlessly; and
you’re not interested in adhering to the usual heteronormative script. Maybe we could flip the script, so that you ply me with alcohol and you try to coerce me into bed. Yeah, that’d be transgressive and hot.
You should also message me if you’d like to start a funny feminiphopster™ crew, because why should Brooklyn have all the fun?
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