Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


30 Hackney, UK Woman


I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 26–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Today – 6:39am
Black, White
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Christianity, but not too serious about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Has a kid, and might want more
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I don't like fuss. Fuss happens when people lose respect, trust and consideration for themselves and each other.

I am sex positive and polyamorous. This means I have multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships at the same time, regardless of how serious or entangled any one of those relationships become. I am open to a range of relationships but at the moment, I'm rather caught up with a whole host of things so something casual but friendly is all I can do.

I'm quite open about my sexuality. I enjoy sex for many reasons and I'm past being ashamed about it or keeping it as a special trophy for those who jump through enough hoops. Sexual compatibility is important to me and therefore, I like to know whether I am sexually compatible with someone fairly early on in the bonding process. I wouldn't be compatible with someone who felt this meant I wasn't good enough to marry because I slept with them "too early". From experience, men who think like that are rather reserved in the bedroom anyway.

I am on the autistic spectrum; I have worked hard to chisel off some of the more intolerable traits whilst embracing those that make you more awesome than the neurotypical person beside you.

I have a son, he is also on the autistic spectrum. I have no plans to involve any other love interests in his life for a good while so apart from scheduling around my parenting duties, you needn't worry about him too much, just yet. I enjoy a friendly relationship with his dad and his wider paternal family and will continue to do so indefinitely.

I enjoy conversation, some of it is me understanding the bizarre ways people work and some of it is because I enjoy debate. My autism means I am not always great at the right topic for an audience, but I have learnt how to adapt subjects I am interested in for particular demographics. I think we should all know a little bit about everything.

I am not a fan of formal dates, at first, at least. I find it hard to be myself in such environments and find the mise en scene somewhat distracting; it basically defeats the object of "getting to know" me. For that reason, I prefer really informal, low key settings for initial meetings - somewhere I feel we both have ample opportunity to get to know one another.

Overall, I'd say I'm quite a homely type of girl. That adjective isn't always viewed as a positive one but that's me: I like hanging out in small, familiar circles where we eat, drink and perhaps drug our evenings away. I'm not a raver, I know what knife and fork to use and when and I sound my t's (for the most part).
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm studying to be a Midwife.

I am also in an polyamorous relationship with dch1973 who is very much a part of my future.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being honest. I guess it comes with the autism but it seems incredibly logical that honesty saves a lot of awkward situations and general bad feeling all round.

I'm also good at listening. I'm not as good at compassion, or rather my compassion looks different to other peoples'.

I'm good at hanging out and not doing anything much but still having fun doing it. I like to do nothing sometimes. For large quantities of my life, I've been doing something so I like to do nothing when I can.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't know. Depends really, who, where, when?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
A I read a fair amount. I am really interested in the social and biological sciences, for that reason I read both fiction and non fiction books that I feel relates to these things. How they relate might not always be apparent. Sometimes it's simply because they are about people and I find people fascinating. Even if I do prefer to interact with them from a bit of a distance at times. I read really trashy fiction sometimes, like Twilight. Not because I think it's fantastically written but because I actually quite like the characters and how they relate to the author's background. I read "We Need To Talk About Kevin", recently. Good book. I find psycho killers and deranged sociopaths extremely interesting. I also liked "Cocaine Nights". Read it, it's good.

I watch a fair amount of TV. I always find people who are insecure about their intellect find it somewhat difficult to admit that they learnt something off the tellybox. I think that's silly. I watch quite a few documentaries based on my interests and also some non fiction programmes that are also focused on those subjects. Some favorites are Brain Doctors, Great Ormond Street, Dr G, Medical Examiner, anything by Dr Robert Winston, stuff about other cultures and religions particularly in relation to pregnancy, childbirth and the family, anything about health, sociology and psychology, really.

I also watch X Factor and The Voice. I like watching it because I know how they work (I actually had a relative who was fairly successful on one recently) but occasionally, someone quite ordinary does "play the game" and they actually win. Okay, Simon Cowell wins too but they win together. I like comedy, both sitcoms and stand up and those shows that are sort of drama and comedy. Some favorites are The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, Have I Got News For You, Modern Family, The League, Girls, Gavin and Stacey, Mock The Week, QI and others.

I watch sport often. Most sports in fact, even golf on occasion. I'm really competitive where there is a competition. It doesn't matter if someone close to me doesn't like sport though. As long as they aren't a dick about it, just because they are crap at things like that. I used to play basketball and stopped when I was about 23 but I've been pulled back into a recreational league that we won last time. Starts back up again in the New Year.

I listen to all genres of music. I think people can be separated into two broad categories: some like particular songs for the music itself, and others listen to music for the lyrics. I listen to music for the lyrics and that means I like a wider range of music. I can appreciate a "phat" beat or whatever, but primarily, it's the lyrics that I like. I hate music snobs. The type who don't like particular artists or genres because they are now "commericial/mainstream" or simply because they don't like the type of person who listens/makes that type of music so they aren't prepared to give the music an objective "chance".

Food is a huge thing in my family. It's like a bonding tool. I eat almost anything (although I am not a fan of desserts) and am a fairly good cook too. I really like simple, tasty food like grilled meat or fish, salad and bread. I'm fairly suited to a Mediterranean type of diet. That's where I'd say I eat out most and my home cooking is quite influenced by it. I also really like Dim Sum.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My family
My friends
Good food
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Midwifery related things.

I spend a lot of time thinking about people. People I love, people I care about, sometimes people I don't know.

I also think about sex and relationships. I think about the ones I have, the ones I will have and the ones I have had.

Why everyone lives in South London.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
If my son is at his dad's, then I am either with a partner of some description, with a friend or with family. These days I'm playing Ingress on the mean streets of London.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm on Fetlife.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are fine with the fact that my autism makes me range from fantastically awesome to horrendously insensitive and somewhat obtuse. You are sex positive. You are fairly local to me. You identify as polyamorous or ethically non monogamous and/or wouldn't require monogamy from me.

I'm also ridiculously busy with my studies so I'm not sure I have time/energy for another serious relationship right now. Friends though. Friends with benefits. I'll change my questions to reflect this change in due course so sorry if it seems inconsistent. I know that can be annoying.