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48 M San Francisco, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 40–49
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 12:51am
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Because I grew up in the Bay Area, and because my high school experience was eerily similar to what went down in "Dazed & Confused," and because I basically had no parental supervision whatsoever, I'm still inclined to use the phrase "just cold kickin' it"—but almost always ironically.

I am practiced in looking askance. I do not approve of mustaches unless they're worn by gunslingers of the old west. When I think of the TheOnion website, I proclaim silently, in my head, "L'onion!" in a thick French accent. I dislike various words, but will nonetheless use them when proper context and/or specificity is required. These include foodie, ointment, panties, moist, and crumpet.

If you meet me in person, and if we really click and let all that ultra-polite small talk evaporate away, I trust you'll find me skeptical, opinionated, and even slightly misanthropic—because, let's face it, if I have to see another tribal tattoo on some 40-something tourist from Miami, I may cut myself. We also have e-cigarettes. This is further proof that the DNA marker for "raging tool" has run amok. Yes, cynical words. But also know that I'm demonstrably warm and engaging. I'm also an INTJ. (Somewhere in Miami a guy with a tribal tattoo is failing his own Meyers-Briggs test.)

Romance is tough. It often feels almost unlikely. But who knows. If we can cut through the unseemly over-sharing of OKCupid (and I'm as guilty as anyone), something might just happen. Please mail me if you think I might make you laugh, and vice versa.

Oh, and my pictures are up-to-date and I really am 6-feet-tall. But not an inch taller.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I would like to say I'm on a path of self-discovery, but I think that might be the tagline for "Rochelle, Rochelle." So let me just share the following. I'm a journalist. I'm a single parent. My child's name is Whiskey. Whiskey is a dog. I'd like to learn how to snowboard. I'd like to travel more. Both pursuits would be more interesting if they included a girlfriend.

I'm looking for someone who's just as much my best friend as girlfriend (sorry, the term "partner" also belongs on my annoying word list). I thrive in being in that space where I adore someone, and I know she adores me, and we're each other's strongest advocate, supporter, defender, and so on. On the grand continuum of human behavior, I'm an independent person, and I find that trait attractive in others as well. Still, when you really, magically* click with someone, those two independent streaks can thrive together, just as much as alone.

(*Yes, I just used the word "magically" and I do feel bad about it.)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Hmmm. Here's some stuff I do, and often do well:
(1) Writing.
(2) Heel-toe downshifting. Look it up. It's a thing.
(3) Cooking Italian food, and entertaining friends.
(4) Being really, really sweet to all dogs and cats.
(5) Building planter boxes for vegetable gardens, digging ditches and holes, and helping you out with rudimentary electrical work and simple car maintenance (oil changes, brake pads, that sort of thing).

Bonus answer--things I'm BAD at: Getting a good night's sleep; controlling the amount of dog hair that sticks to my clothes; maintaining a good haircut schedule; and a whole host of fundamental "human things," because anyone who thinks he or she is even close to perfect is delusional. This is the most instructive thing I've learned about online dating and romance in general. NO ONE can possibly be as interesting as what's expressed in so many of these profiles.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
One time a co-worker told me I "speak like a lawyer" because I say phrases like "with respect to" and "post facto." Beyond that... physically? I'm definitely not short, but also not towering tall. Full head of non-gray hair, somehow, miraculously, at my advanced age.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books and magazines: I read mostly non-fiction. Love all the Malcolm Gladwell stuff. I read the New Yorker and The Atlantic religiously. Oh, and almost daily I see what's new on SFGate and Daily Mail.

Movies: Once a year I re-watch Magnolia, Gangs of New York, Glengarry Glen Ross, Wages of Fear, and American Buffalo. Yes, all very guy-ish movies.

TV: OK, I will not try to run away from this one. I do watch TV. Game of Thrones, Girls, Bill Maher. Loved True Detective. My hands-down favorite TV show of all time is Deadwood. (Advisory: I do not work for HBO, though my list suggests otherwise. Huh.)

Music: Popular British Invasion (Beatles, Stones, Kinks); more obscure British Invasion (The Creation, The Action, Small Faces, Pretty Things); 60s ye-ye and freakbeat; certain strains of metal; jazz (Miles, Eddie Jefferson, Mingus Big Band); old punk/new wave (Elvis Costello, Patti Smith, Talking Heads, Clash... favorite band of all time: The Jam); hip-hop (Jurassic, De La Soul).

Good god. I just listed my musical tastes. Please join me in throwing up.

Art/Design: Pantone swatch books, Lichtenstein, Mondrian, Calder, SF and NYC MOMA, perforated metal, industrial salvage items, Eichler houses and mid-century furniture. I'm a writer/editor by trade, but I have a design background too.

Yep, I actually just wrote that.

Food: White burgandy. The pizza at Gialina and Pizzeria Mozza. The octopus at La Ciccia. The salad at House of Prime Rib. My own crazy-insane asparagus appetizer. Oh, and I've been doing a lot of interesting things with brussels sprouts lately.

How pretentious is THAT?!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
(1) Reading material.
(2) Close friends.
(3) Dogs.
(4) Poop bags (see dogs).
(5) Regular exercise, if only for the endorphins.
(6) Numbered lists. Seriously. I'm into them. Thanks for letting me explore that passion here, OKC.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I don't really spend much time thinking about this, but I have noticed that yoga has become a rather popular form of exercise. Yet, strangely, you wouldn't know it from the near complete lack of yoga-related photography and references on OKC. Bizarre, I know.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Friday has never been a big night for me, as the work week takes its toll. If I'm in a relationship, it might involve going out to eat with my GF, or cooking at home together, and just looking forward to the weekend. If I'm single--like I am now--it might involve grabbing a quick drink after work with friends, or having dinner with a friend or friends, but more likely me picking Whiskey** up from daycare, working out, then chilling for the night (and probably watching Bill Maher).

**Reminder: Whiskey is a dog. See child rearing reference above.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
When I feel comfortable with someone, I'm not private at all. I relish reaching that point in a relationship where my GF and I can both share our innermost secrets, our demons, our fears, everything. It's liberating. And it builds deeper bonds. But, no, upon second thought, I'm not going to share truly private or intimate information in my OKC profile.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You should message me if you're funny, warm, and creative, and you think I will make you laugh, and vice versa.