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23 Mary Esther, FL Woman


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 21–100
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Jan 24
5′ 2″ (1.57m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Atheism, and laughing about it
Taurus, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
See below.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
•Lots and lots of 15 lb curls in the squat rack and shallow smith machine squats.

•Sometimes I mix it up a little and lay in the leg press machine while I text and check facebook.

•Afterwards, I usually go to the smoothie bar and drink 80% of my daily caloric needs in one 20 oz shake.

•Maintaining my figure through mental gymnastics.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
• Syntax.
• Simultaneously over and underachieving.
• Deadlifts. I do a couple hundred a week generally. Current 1RM is 325 pounds. Needs more plates. Conventional, not sumo.
• Parallel parking like a champ.
• Bullshittin'
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm vaguely pretty from certain angles.

I have no emotional depth to speak of and prefer to communicate with grunts and suggestive gestures.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I only eat chicken because I read on Pinterest that red meat and pork will make your thighs touch.
I can't have gluten because my holistic nutritionist says it gives you prostate cancer.

Really my diet in public is limited to caesar salads with grilled chicken. If you go out with me I'm afraid if you watch me eat a bigger meal, you'll know what a piggy I really am...but as soon as I get home I peel off my Spanx and eat a jar of Nutella with my fingers.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
• Weights
• Yoga Pants
• Merrells
• Beer
• Attention
• Soffes
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Dogs. I like dogs a lot.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
chugging whisky like I've been poisoned and a gallon of booze is the only cure.

If I go to the bar, I usually only go to one that I can take my dogs to.

Sometimes I like to sit in the dark, blindfold myself, grab a bottle of Wild Turkey, get naked, and field strip my rifles. This is usually accompanied by singing the Star Spangled Banner at the top of my lungs.