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31 Seattle, WA Cis Man

Cis Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 23-40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Today – 4:32am
Native American, White
Open relationship
Relationship Type
6' 3" (1.91m)
Body Type
Full figured
Working on Post grad
Doesn’t have kids but might want them
Has cats
English (Fluently), Esperanto (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat), C++ (Fluently), Japanese (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Well, hello visitor.

I am fat, I am full time STEM student, I don't drive, I can't hike and I live north of the ship canal. I also have a bad-ass primary partner (jewberly). If none of that bothers you, then you are IN FOR A TREAT. Read on!

I'm a man of action. I get my work done, then go out in gold sequined booty shorts and ass-shake the night away. Fuck it.

I am kitsch personified. I am a collector of basic level knowledge on a variety of things; I like to exchange views and statistics on quantum physics, sociology, the human condition, statistical demographics, gender politics, social justice, socialism, esports, which Bluth was the most charming, Goetia, feminism, 60's soul, elegant code, Reek (It rhymes with weak), the Oxford comma, the constant and unstoppable downward spiral of Walter White, and what makes a good Scotch.

I have the inexplicable ability to hold solid conversations about things that I have no right knowing about.

I am engaging, organized, irreverent, social and intentional.

I am a supporter of social justice, civil liberty, human rights, LGBTQ equality, and consider myself an intersectional feminist.

I can put one foot behind my head while standing up. This, along with the tattoo of the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701) on my ass, has earned me more than a few new friends.

"If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants" -Isaac Newton
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm pursuing a PhD in statistics; so lots of studying, number gymnastics, logic, coding and critical thinking. Math is my motherfucking -JAM-.

In my free time;

hanging out with cats, eating stinky cheeses, keeping loose, being an impetus for adventure, writing raps about my favorite lunch meats, Smangin it, touching butts (consentually), writing things
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being bold
Eating candy
Being your hot date to social engagements (I clean up real nice)
Fact-checking myself.
Creating the "strip" version of any game

Giving people nicknames that stick, square butts.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That they are instantly attracted to my winning personality and the constant stream of hyper-intelligent humor; also, my nigh infinite fount of modesty.

Hey, my eyes are up here. Perv.

(Yes, I am that tall.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
(a) Gaiman, Stephenson, Dick, Moore,

Whatever math text I am buried in.

Clavicula Salomonis Regis

Not Ayn Rand

(b) The Big Lebowski, Waking Life, Equilibrium, Memento, Titus, Clash of the Titans (this movie was on this list long before the remake was a glimmer in Liam Neeson's eye), Wet Hot American Summer, Dune (Lynch's), anything John Waters, The Life Aquatic, Harold and Maude, Wristcutters, Roadhouse

Hip hop and Metal. All of it.

Nick Cave

(d) Scotch, dim sum, sushi, soul food
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My cat; the fattest of cats:
(UPDATE: RIP Sammy. I'ma pour a little bit out for you every time)
Someone to keep up with my constant stream of HILARIOUS JOKES
Patrick Swayze
Footy pajamas
The frenetic energy, the tranquil explosions, the sexual tension, the saxophone of Duke Silver.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What's the opening band's name again? Where are the exits? Can I eat that? What's the percentage in this beer? Who's driving me home? Can I crash on your couch? Do these pants make my ass look big enough? Why isn't "Beer Gut" one of the body type options? I wonder if my shorts are dry?

Why doesn't OKCupid let you list references?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Maximum charisma, no reservations. Always prepared.

I have gout (The king's disease!), which means I can't walk for extended periods of time. Hiking, dancing, etc are off the table for me for the most part. I can still manage day to day stuff without a problem, but overexertion makes me cry.

(Since I have.... sadly... had this question asked so many times; no, gout is not an STD. I won't be passing it along to anyone I bone down with, unless you want me to make you gorge yourself on shellfish and red wine ad-naseum while we get it on)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to spoon.

You can teach me something about mathematics or statistics.

You're very funny.

You are my dream woman; Pam from Archer. Or my dream man, Ron Swanson (fucking hubba hubba, amirite?).

You also have your passport, and are willing to use it.

You're a nerd and you like nerd shit. Seriously, I play video games and board games and dungeons and dragons and I make star trek jokes. Don't dream it, be it.

You want to show me something, take me somewhere, or have me do something adventurous.

Your ideal day involves sitting in bed while its light out, cuddling and eating good food and then going out once the sun sets for libations and general ridiculousness.

Seriously, fuck gender roles. You should message me, I'm a catch.