So apparently we get OKC kudos for writing in our little OKC journals. I don't know what these OKC kudos amount to but ultimately I'm holding out for a spaceship (or hovercraft, or whatever). Or a BABY DINOSAUR. This begs the question though...is OKC basically telling us to ANGST? Hey, if you just read my caps lock it says "baby dinosaur angst." Awwww. I bet baby dinosaur angst is really cute.

Anyway, is OKC asking us to angst? Because that's what online journals are for. Not blogs, mind you, but I'm confident that OKC journals fall into the former category.

So here you are, OKC and greater e-world, ARTICLENINJA'S MOMENTS OF ANGST.

-This one time I was PMSing and standing in the student union waiting to get food (food is delicious) and I realized that Panda Express was out of white rice and I'd have to get fried rice instead so I started crying. True story. Had a more recent similar situation regarding a coffee stain. Had to call my mom. Because coffee stain > massive global economic crisis. This is virtually axiomatic.

Also, the other night, I attempted throwing an empty shampoo bottle from the shower into the waste basket and it landed in the toilet instead. 3 points. And that kind of made me want to cry, though I don't know if it was because I couldn't throw accurately within three feet (the bottle was awkwardly shaped and hollow!) or if it's cause I knew I would later have to stick my hand in the toilet. Which I keep clean, generally. But still. That's where poop goes.

Actually, this is starting to sound a lot like diluted asexualized fmylife.com. Screw you, OKC. I'm gonna go over there now and hang out with the cool kids who smoke and have copious amounts of sex under the bleachers and stuff and then talk about it on the internets. STFU N00BS.


PS...I'm writing a law paper on the nexus between immigration policy and America's newfound [relatively] obsession with national security. I just realized that I have written almost every paper of my higher-ed career on national security issues.

I exploit 9/11 worse than Rudy Giuliani (see title, above.)

Cha cha cha.

I don't have anything against PROGRESS or anything but if OKCupid and Facebook continue to update in such a fashion that I can't find anything every other hour I'm going to learn to churn butter so I can go hang out with the Amish.

Seriously, it took me five minutes just to figure out how to update my damn journal. I am not a stupid person. In fact, I am an above-average-intelligence endowed person. And while 5 minutes doesn't seem like much to real people (as opposed to us OKCupid people), 5 minutes is like...87 years of Intarnets time. Anything online that isn't instantaneous horrifies and confounds me.

Though I live in Boston so waiting 5 minutes for anything often horrifies and confounds me period.

This is off point! Intarnets - stop shape-shifting into all this newfangled nonsense. You know, back in my day I had to wait THREE MINUTES for my crap to download...IN THE SNOW.