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ArtifexCrstinus

24 M West Covina, CA

My Details

Last Online
Aug 20
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and very serious about it
Sign
Education
Working on university
Job
Education
Income
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), C++ (Fluently), Latin (Okay), Yiddish (Poorly), Other (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
You can call me Nick; I'm a skeptic and a nerd. I've been living here in CA since I graduated high school ('08!) and plan to stay in Cali for good. Before this, I grew up for 15 years in Northern Alabama after living my first 3 in Southern California.

I am interested in a career you may have never considered (designing genetically engineered lifeforms) in a field with which you might be unfamiliar (Biological Systems Engineering). It's like inventing with living things. I might be leaning towards another major though.

I have experience with reptiles that you wouldn't find from your average online form filler. One of these lizards is being kept by my brother and I; ask me about her.

Friends: 4thepunchline, astroguy0, Freshmarimo, Nermal42, DroidVinyl, rhythhymn, elimindedra, KAThompson, JemimaLo, JoeTheGhost, Juniormint2010, Grade-A-Human, venconmigle, and Ishnai

In short: I am multi-talented, nonsense-loving, and intelligent.

Update: I've been told I don't show enough humility on my profile. Well, you see, that's because I'm a total idiot.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Currently I make money through teaching English to foreigners and freelance computer repair. I'm planning to expand my income through designing and selling humorous shirts including ones that advertise a nonexistent company named "Culty Meals."

I will finally be attending UC Davis this Fall! For the past 4 years I've been attending the nearest community college, Mt SAC, but no longer! I've received my AA in Natural Sciences and now I'll either continue teaching ESL or get some dead-end tech job until Fall.

However, I truly love the outdoors, but I don't get enough chances to explore it. I'd happily go on a hike and/or share a tent with anyone who is interested.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
repairing/upgrading/networking computers (it's my job) and assuming this is meant for a list hobbies rather than only activities I'm an expert at doing.
I may have some skills in playing badminton, Scrabble, and Jews harp, engineering, cooking, using Photoshop and Illustrator, and being gnome-free and fluent in languages which I've never heard (JK).

I have had a deviantArt account for years, though art isn't something I spend large amounts of time on anymore.

I'm not sure if I'm good at it, but I quite enjoy camping, especially in National Parks.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
are my broad shoulders, aged fedora, slim 30-inch waist, and a small speech impediment that is offset by how out going I can be.

My hats and t-shirts are other things that make me stand out. I have some ridiculous, awesome t-shirts from ThinkGeek.com and xkcd.com. I often jauntily place my business card into the rim of my fedora for easy access. Some other things may be a few of the things on my List o' 6 (below).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
You can see my recent watching/reading list here. By the way, you should be watching Cosmos - A Space Odyssey and don't even try arguing with me about that.

Books and Authors
Authors: Douglas Adams, Neil Gaiman, Carl Sagan, Orson Scott Card, Terry Pratchett, Daniel H. Wilson, Ray Bradbury, E. A. Poe, Rob Grant, Doug Naylor, John Hodgman, Cornelia Funke, Michael Chabon, Not Ayn Rand (that sociopath behind the Tea-Baggers and so many crazy republicans. You know she worshiped a brutal serial killer, right?)

Favorite Series: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Harry Potter, Discworld, Ender's Game, Remnants, Animorphs, Inkheart, Artemis Fowl, Red Dwarf, The Chronicles of Prydain, Bunnicula

Classics: Heart Of Darkness, All Things Great and Small, 1984, A Separate Peace, The Stranger, Mark Twain's works (and several of his quotations), and the short story "Flowers for Algernon"

Others: Robopocalypse, Machine of Death, Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson, World War Z and The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, How to Survive a Robot Uprising by Daniel H. Wilson, A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson, HPMOR by Less Wrong, The Areas of My Expertise by John Hodgman, The Radioactive Boyscout, The Portable Atheist, The Men Who Stare at Goats by Jon Ronson, The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown, Mr. Blue, Have Space Suit, Will Travel by Heinlein, Sphere by Michael Crichton, Watchmen, The Yiddish Policemen's Union and The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon

Webcomics
Not Dead Yet: Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, xkcd, Romantically Apocalyptic, Savage Chickens, Bearmageddon, Dinosaur Comics, The Adventures of Dr. McNinja, El Goonish Shive, Nimona, Scenes From A Multiverse, Subnormality, Sinfest, The Oatmeal, Opplopolis, Wondermark, Nedroid, Bad Machinery, Banished!, Sufficiently Remarkable, The Last Halloween

On hiatus/Dead/Finished: Goats (especially after I met the creator at Comic Con), Nic Buxom, Bohemian Drive, Cectic, Edmund Finney's Quest to Find the Meaning of Life, The Perry Bible Fellowship, Speak with Monsters, Bad Gods, Pell Mell, No Room for Magic, Concerned: the Hλlf-life and death of Gordon Frohman, The Loneliest Astronauts

TV (Past and Present)
Anything with Conan O'Brien, Anything by Joss Whedon or Matt Nix, 30 Rock, Arrested Development, Avatar: The Last Airbender and its sequel, Batman Beyond, British comedies, Burn Notice, Castle, The Colony, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Cowboy Bebop, The Daily Show with John Stewart, Dead Like Me, Doctor Who/Dr. Who, Duck Dodgers, Eureka!, Evil Con Carne, Fawlty Towers, Firefly, Fooly Cooly, Futurama, The Simpsons, The Good Guys, Gravity Falls, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, House, The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, Invader Zim, Junkyard Wars, Lexx, Look Around You!, Making Fiends, Malcolm in the Middle, Man Vs. Wild, Megas XLR, Misfits(!!!1111one11), Monk, Monty Python's Flying Circus, The Muppet Show, MythBusters, The Office, Powerpuff Girls, Prototype This, Psych, Pushing Daisies, Rick & Morty, Robot Chicken, Samurai Jack, Science Channel, Scrubs, Sealab 2021, Sherlock, South Park, Space Ghost: Coast to Coast, Stargate SG1, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate Universe, Terriers, Tin Man, Trigger Happy TV, Unchained Reaction, Ugly Americans, Upright Citizens Brigade, Venture Brothers, The Walking Dead, The Whitest Kids U' Know, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Worst Case Scenario with Bear Grylls

Movies
Literary/British Comedies: Apocalypse Now, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Withnail and I, Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life and Life of Brian, Not the First 4 HP Films, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Sweeney Todd, The Shawshank Redemption

Science Fiction: Aeon Flux, Avatar, Back to the Future (trilogy), Men in Black, Time Bandits, V for Vendetta, Ironman, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Flubber, The Wizard of Oz (kinda corny, I know), The Bourne Ultimatum, Evil Dead, Army of Darkness, The Dark Crystal, Blade 2, Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Matrix (trilogy), Pan's Labyrinth, The Phantom Tollbooth, Serenity, Super 8, Tron Legacy (not the first one), Stardust, Bridge to Terabithia, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight series, I Am Legend, Jumper, John Carter, Most if not all of the Spider Man movies, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Zombieland, Moon!

Comedies: Accepted, both Ace Ventura movies, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, All About Steve, Be Kind Rewind (I love this one so much), Office Space, Hebrew Hammer, The Gods Must Be Crazy, A Fish Called Wanda, Get Shorty, Be Cool, The Mask, Son of the Mask, The Hangover, Superbad, Yes Man, Mel Brooks films, The Muppet Movie, Mystery Team

Generally more serious stuff: A Few Good Men, Casino Royale, The Italian Job, Wasabi, Knight and Day, The Life Aquatic, The Aviator, L4yer Cake, Guys and Dolls, Orange County, π, Green Hornet, Green Mile, Good Night and Good Luck, Forrest Gump,Schindler's List, Super

Animated: Shrek series, Hoodwinked, Monsters, Inc., Wall-e, Kung Fu Panda, Up, Most other Pixar films

Documentaries: The Yes Men, Religulous, Gigantic: A Tale of Two Johns, Food, Inc., The Corporation, Supersize Me, (Not quite a documentary) The Men who Stare at Goats, H. H. Holmes: America's First Serial Killer

Not Epic Movie, Not Juno, Not Ice Age 3, Not most horror

Music
They Might Be Giants, Lemon Demon, Logan Whitehurst and the Jr. Science Club, The Aquabats, Arcade Fire, Beck, Blue Man Group, CAKE, Chromeo, Cut Copy, Daft Punk, The Dandy Warhols, Death Cab for Cutie, The Decemberists, Devo, Fiest, Fiona Apple, Flight of the Conchords, Fol Chen, Franz Ferdinand, fun., Gorillaz, Greydon Square, Harvey Danger, Holy Fuck, Hot Chip, John Flansburg, John Linnel, Jonathan Coultan, Kate Nash, Kimya Dawson, Laura Veirs, Magnetic Fields, Math the Band, Metric, Mono Puff, OK Go, Ookla the Mok, Owl City, People Are Wrong, The Pillows, Polysics, The Postal Service, The Presidents of the United States of America, Smash Mouth, The Sparks, Tool, Van She, Wax Tailor, Weird Al, White Stripes. For other Others, check out http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/user/artifexcrastinus and http://www.last.fm/user/Mr_Latin_Dude

Games
Lately: Red Faction: Armageddon and Assassin's Creed III
Amanita point-and-click games, Arkham City, Bioshock 1 and 2, Braid, Ratchet & Clank and Jack and Daxter series, all the Half-Life games, Portal and Portal 2, Scrabble (especially on facebook), Okami, Crystal Quest, Twisted Metal, God of War, Advanced Wars, Settlers of Catan, Super Mario Brothers, PIQ, improv games, hangman, logic puzzles, Frisbee, and badminton. I'd like to try a tabletop RPG.

Food
Very varied, so where to begin? Some basic things I suppose: croissant, crueler, elephant ear, pumpkin pie, peanutbutter], horchata, Tea(!!!), Salsaritas (salsa-flavored chips), blueberry and all other berries, kiwi fruit, hiziki, et cetera. Favorite juice: grapefruit.
I prefer eating chicken to beef and pork. I love Thai, Japanese, and Greek food. I absolutely hate Antarctic food and I dislike jawbreakers. I no longer chew gum (it's none-biodegradable, you know). I like most foods though.

YouTube
My Drunk Kitchen, Foamy the Squirrel, H+: The Digital Series(!!!), Songs To Wear Pants To, StarTalk Live

Question: Do you think I should include my favorite podcasts too?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Books/webcomics,
My laptop named Fluffy Towel,
My new Droid named Holly,
At least one joke to tell,
My black laptop backpack which usually holds my Hitchhiking sign and camelback, and
Variety because it's the spice of life.

But, of course, most of these things should be disregarded because I'm an avid camper. Think Bear Grylls. lol
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
  • Which Monty Python sketch best matches my situation.
  • How to survive in a robot uprising and/or zombie apocalypse (like any sane person without mental myopia).
  • How to design a biological vehicle.

  • What possibilities does a colony of engineered bacteria have?

  • How horrible pseudoscience is.


  • "All tribal myths are true, for a given value of true." -The Last Continent by Terry Pratchett
    "Caltraps didn't kill anybody, they just slowed them down a bit. One or two of them in the sole of the foot induced extreme slowness and caution in all except the terminally enthusiastic." -Pyramids by Terry Pratchett

    "Always be prepared." -Boy Scout Motto

    "All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others." -Animal Farm by George Orwell

    "If anyone can show me, and prove to me, that I am wrong in thought or deed, I will gladly change. I seek the truth, which never yet hurt anybody. It is only persistence in self-delusion and ignorance which does harm." -Marcus Aurelius

    "My business is done!" -Invader Zim
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I'm likely to be found listening to a new podcast, reading books and webcomics, or on reddit.

I've only been clubbing once and I very infrequently attend parties (I don't get many invitations). I'm interested in attending a rave now and see how it compared to my clubbing experience.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a big, Latin-enhanced vocabulary that I'm not afraid to use.

My front two teeth are synthetic. Go ahead, ask me why I'm a cyborg.

I have a weakness for steampunk.

I suffer from Gonadic Hyperrealism: my gonads aren't just real, they're very real.

My greatest annoyance with this site seems to actually be an annoyance with Americans in general: the most neglected list of favorite media is that of books. If you've written a list of favorite shows and music, why can't you make one of books? Or at least mention them at all?
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 21–32
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are open to skepticism on supernatural subjects and/or have an insatiable curiosity for science.
If you get off on Harry Potter pick-up lines, have a steampunk costume, or think you can cause me to experience tumescence. ;)

Or if you want to play badminton with me.
Or if you want someone with which to see a movie or rock concert.
OR, if you like the idea of pulling inoffensive pranks on the general public in San Gabriel Valley.
OR know a great website for selling t-shirts on and have reasons to back it.
Cigarette smokers need not apply.