http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150739678340522

Years away from English speaking environments have reduced my native language skills to drivel.

It turns out a lot of Taiwanese girls are into sport fucking, ie, fucking as many [white] men as possible.  

The hours just fly by in a KTV

 gave me: Makes Me Laugh

Awarded Jan 14, 2010

“Asher has the ability to make the dullest moments fun. The world would definitely be a happier place with more like him running around. Not too many more though, because then he would no longer be this unique. Thanks Ash...”

 

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 gave me: The Perfect Mix

Awarded Jan 23, 2010

“WELL, I WANT TO MEET THIS INTRIGUE CREATURE, YOU SEEM LIKE HEAVEN SENT.AND THE PLACES YOU HAVE BEEN ARE DREAMY.LOVE COCKTAILS IN THE EVENING WOULD LOVE TO HAVE SOME WITH YOU.”

 

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maryjanerx gave me: Eye Candy

Awarded Feb 3, 2010

“um, more like... butt candy... lololol... NICE ASS!!”

 

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misti_1986 gave me: Makes Me Laugh

Awarded Feb 11, 2010

“um his pics are effin funny. and ya he looks like a hippie so ya thats it”

 

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rainieskies gave me: Brilliant Profile

Awarded Mar 2, 2010

“Your profile is hilarious, I loved it! Made me laugh out loud, no really, it did!”

 

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 gave me: Shroud of Mystery

Awarded Mar 24, 2010

“You are the most well-rounded carnie I know. YOu are the only carnie that I know. I'd like to know you in the Biblical sense. Old Testament style. ”

 

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 gave me: The Perfect Mix

Awarded May 14, 2010

“How could such a young man -- a boy even -- know so much, flirt so well, and convince me (a woman who resists all MILF-chasers) to take him seriously? Because of his awesome ass. Oh yeah -- and his sense of humor. (But mostly the ass.)”

 

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 gave me: Eye Candy

Awarded Oct 3, 2010

“the douche bag pic is HOT! HOT! HOT!  and so is that moon!”

 

A female student of mine requested that I find her a suitable English name (everybody has one) that she can use with westerners because they wont be able to pronounce her Chinese name.  After rejecting all of my very best stripper names, we settled upon Ebola. I explained the meaning but she kept it anyway.  What do you think?  Any more good names I can give my students?

People look at me like I'm a horrible person when I ask them where I can find dog-meat.

I'm relatively settled in China, finally.  I started working, I moved into an apartment, and I've eaten enough pork already to make up the four months I spent living in Israel.  Today I will meet my Chinese language tutor, and next week I will travel around the province for 5 days.  Things are looking up for me, which is good, because it isn't looked that way since this time last year, when I had the revelation to leave Kathmandu University on my trip to Mt Everest. The path in front of me is too obscured to follow, but clear enough to tell the general direction in which it points.  It makes sense though, because today is erev Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year.  

The weeks prior to paying rent, the ultimate sign of settling, were a bit turmoiled.  I took one final trip to Palestine (not a typo), to visit my friends there.  It was an overly political trip, but a very interesting one.  I went to a small family gathering in the hilly city of Nablus. (Less than half of my friends 12 uncles and 96 cousins showed up, but all his 10 siblings were there. I gave him a handfulof condoms as a parting gift, he was very grateful.)  And I spent another night in Ramallah.

The colorful markets of Ramallah

A few days later I boarded a plane for Russia, got lost on the way to my hosts house from the airport, and wandered around the backstreets of Moscow at 11 O'clock at night with all my luggage.  I was saved by some drunk strangers who I stopped to drink vodka with in a park.  It's amazing how many friends you can make in Russia simply by knowing the word "Cartoshka", which means "Potato".

The next day I went to Red Square and saw everyone's favorite candy covered cathedral, the Kremlin, and toured one of the largest art galleries that I have ever seen, and made acquaintances with a few new Russian artists.

When I got tired I sat on a well marked bench.

I went to The house in a Tree for tea and 8-ball awesomeness

Took a walk along the boulevard at night

and absconded with a bottle of black vodka from the duty free with my remaining rubles.

Now I'm sitting in my new cube on the sixth floor (no elevator), relaxing outside in the sun, and enjoying the view from the balcony.

This post took too long to write though, and now I am late to meet my Chinese Tutor.  I'd better run to West Lake.

 

It's a brand new year and I'm feeling good.  Anything could happen.

L'Shanah Tovah everybody, have a sweet new year.

 

I'm still can't believe that was is a real conversation... 

 

Israeli: when are you leaving?

Me:  I havn't gotten my ticket yet, but I expect to leave around september 20th

Israeli: ah so you have time...

Me: yea, 2 weeks

Israeli: your here on the weekend?

Me: I'm probably going to Ramallah for the weekend, I have a friend there

Israeli: ramallha or ramle?

Me: in the west bank, he's palestinian

Israeli: why?

Me: because he can't come here so I have to go there, also, it's kinda nice.

Israeli: you're so stupid

Me: why? ramallah is like any other city here

Israeli: why not?, no it's not

Me: except cheaper, 2-4 sheks for a falafel =)

Israeli: your stupid goodbye have fun doing nothing with your stupidness

Me: because I'm visiting my friend in Ramallah?
The guy i went to school with in Nepal?
a good friend of mine who can't see me, because of the situation

Israeli: bye

Me: and i'm stupid for visiting him instead? k

Israeli: i dont want to be your friend

Me: k