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Aspenboynyc

45 M New York, NY

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 9:26pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Judaism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Hospitality
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Has dogs and has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Update Update:

I just had my knee operated on (9/26) and I'll be pathetically on crutches for the next 8 weeks. Sexy huh.

That, and this site, is really starting to bring me down. Sometime next week I'm going to delete this stupid profile.

At the very least I will make it completely generic with only conventional pics. I can do very little in the way of working out now so I probably won't look like those pics soon anyway.

New new update:

I have noticed a strange trend. Most of the women who are 94+% compatible (according to however OKQ does it) in general, are much much younger than me, and/or bisexual. (Uh, both are fine).

OMFG. What could be more revealing than that?

Unintended consequence: the "compatibility score" tells you more about yourself than who you're compatible with.

This profile is a year or more old and desperately needs a refresh. Sooo, when I get the time and am in a creative mood, I'll do it. Yep, I'll just jump right in on that. Any time now. Soon....

I think I'm going to delete this whole fucking profile. At least the stupid essays. They suck and are boring.

After reading many women's profiles, they all sound the same. They tell very little. I'm sure the men's are just as routine and boring.

God, how sad. There must be a better way.

*updated update* I've now "improved" my matching by answering 500 of those stupid questions! The more I read, the stupider they got. I'm going to have write my own—when I get some time!

I'm very attracted to women who are attracted to me. And I like women who like me. I'm not into the pursuit, fun-is-in-the-chase thing. I also like profiles with paragraphs, huge blocks of text are hard to read.

If you think I'm cute but don't want to slog through my profile, go ahead and contact me anyway. I won't mind. I'm tired of being wanted JUST for my brains anyway! ;)

Revamped yet again: (Is it getting better or worse?) (That assumes that anyone actually READS my profile. Feel free to critique). Is it getting too long?

Okay, now let's get this straight:
I will NOT want to sleep with you on the first meeting (even though you will beg for my french toast (see below)). If you think that SEX is all I want after reading my profile, you have completely MISSED the essence of my personality and you should be ashamed for being so fixated on references of SEX. And that probably means we will not be a good match (unless you like to debate, which is actually a good thing and then let's go at it :) )

I'm known as a smart-ass with a quick wit. I can be sarcastic and acerbic, ironic, and very 14-year-old-like immature. Uhhh, silly at times. Okay, many times. I like to get as good as give.

I can go from 0-to-Howard Stern in 3 seconds flat. Uhhh, make that 2 seconds.

Born and raised here on Manhattan Island. I'm also very comfortable in the woods, mountains, and country.

Apparently I am considered "intense", I think I'm laid-back ;) I know a lot about a lot. But I *think* I know even more. :)

If I go out or talk to you I will ask many questions. I want to get to know who you are and what you're all about.

I am attracted to women who are confident, independent, strong, interesting, quirky, different. The goth girl is more interesting than the cheerleader.

I like playful women who are youthful at heart, spirit, and attitude. Age is not important to me. I wish age was not included in the profiles. I have found that age is irrelevant to whom I get along with.

Sarcasm and foul language is very much appreciated! ;)

And playful.

I will intellectually discuss, debate, and argue issues. I think discourse is healthy. Debate, both regular and master (there's that Howard Stern part of me!)

I do not watch football, drink beer, think farting is something to be proud of, and get together with the guys to get shit-faced.

I'm very, very athletic, so it would probably good for a woman to be somewhat athletic.

And playful.

If you are a really good softball player, that's a real plus! (If you are a really good pitcher, I can get you on a team! :) )

I'm a big Yankee fan. That's really the only team sport I care about. I am also a Jet fan, but I don't really follow them closely. I'm not interested in other team sports.

Did I mention playful?

While I like to joke and have fun, I can be very serious and thoughtful about many issues and situations. Just get me going about Tea-baggers or Sarah Palin. (If you can look like Palin, there are some interesting role playing we can do).
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Right now I'm wondering why there are so many "attached" women on a site called OKCupid. I mean, huh? I don't think Cupid would be at ALL OK with married and otherwise happily attached women cruising around on this site apparently NOT looking for an affair.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
*update* I am really, really good at scaring women off within one message! Even while not even trying to! God I can't imagine how fast I could scare you off if I tried!!!

Apparently I'm really good at NOT being successful on OkCupid.

Making Breakfast, especially french toast. Secret recipe handed down from my mother. You will want me to sleep over just to get my french toast in the morning!

Shopping! See I'm in touch with my feminine side! Although it's with a male interpretation: tools, gadgets, electronics, etc. But I NEVER BUY RETAIL!

I'm also good at fixing things. All kinds of things. Cars, lives, computers, etc.

Ohhh, yeah, also REALLY GOOD at finding lost things! This is a very special talent. Lost your keys? I can find them!

Working the count to 3 and 2 (softball reference)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Actually it's my dog people notice first.

I am told it's my smile. But I guess it depends from which direction I'm being noticed. I also hear that it's my butt. ;)

Gay guys like my butt, pecs, and arms.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I am a big fan of Rocco Seffredi's work.

I'm also an avid amateur photographer.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My pets (cats and dog all RESCUED!)
Family
electricity
sex
money
internet
sex
(not necessarily in that order).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The Killdozer Paradox. (Too long to write at the moment. Feel free to ask and break the ice).

Why I've ended up internet dating.
(well okay, I only think about that when I log on).

Why my cat loves to fetch but my dog does not.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Not in a strip club. I think strip clubs are stupid. I went once for a friend's bachelor party and wondered why guys would want to get themselves so frustrated.

Just ridiculous.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I cry EVERY year on 9/11--a lot.

I am the world's worst housekeeper. It's easier to jump over stuff than pick it up and put it away. THERE ,recognition is the first step, right?

I am WAY too kinky and sexual for the women on this site. The only women that even mention sex are lez. What is up with that?

FINE! I am very affectionate, I like to hug and kiss. One of my cats snuggles under my arm EVERY night and she's like a living teddy bear. (Please do not exploit this aspect of my personality! I am still a sex-crazed pervert! :P )
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You think I'm interesting and want to know more about me.

You think I'm funny and want to banter with me.

You are not intimidated by my references to sex.

You are confident enough to message me.

You think I'm hot and want to jump me. AND then want to talk to me. (Oops there I go again).

You think you're more of a perv than I am (I don't think there is much chance of that on this site!).

You can explain the difference between "short-term" dating and "casual sex". WTF? (Damn, I do mention "sex" a lot don't I. I wonder why?)

You like to download porn. Like porn. Or have been in porn.