Hello strange lady from the internet.

You might be interested to know that when I'm not watching cat videos on YouTube or updating this online dating profiling or "Like"-ing shit on Facebook, I'm usually doing one of the following: making hummus, slipping dollar bills into jukeboxes, slinging birds at pigs, growing cucumbers, bobbing my head/tapping my toes/shaking my booty at various live music establishments, museum-hopping, listening to the strange musings of Jad Abumrad and Robert Krulwich on the Radio(lab), biking up 11th Street, hiking up a mountain, baking pies, turning two songs into a third, strolling through the Mt. Pleasant farmers' market, watching moving pictures at the E Street Cinema, frying falafel, biking down 11th Street, pondering the ethics of modern consumerism, admiring squirrels, drinking hoppy beers, or dancing alone in my bedroom.

You could probably do some of these things with me, but you'd have to stop being a strange lady from the internet first.

Oh, I almost forgot the obligatory "where did you come from?/how did you get here?" part. Here it is in riddle form: badger from gopher state makes way to nation's capital via windy city. Got it? Good.

Trying to be a human rights lawyer and a world famous DJ. The former is going pretty well, the latter not so much, which is to say that I spend a good deal of my free time in my living room spinning tunes for myself over a glass of bourbon.

Wow, this one really inspires humility, doesn't it? Let's go with ping pong, chugging beer, hiding from people at a moment's notice, reading 5 books at one time, and losing money during poker with a smile on my face. Most of these things I'm only moderately good at, except for chugging beer...I'm really good at chugging beer.

A selection of responses from a highly scientific poll of friends and family on Facebook:

-"you have a beard"
-"snap-dancing" (Editor's Note: yes, I sometimes do this strange dance involving snapping when I've had too much to drink.)
-"Your smile."
-"I don't remember. I think I was high."
-"Oh look, there are other brown people here. Oh wait, maybe that was Neal?"
-"Down to earth, kind and fair person..."
-"The hat, I think, was the first thing I noticed about you." (Editor's Note: I actually have MANY hats)

Some favorites: Exit Through the Gift Shop, The Giving Tree, tUnE-yArDs, all Wes Anderson movies, Arrested Development, What is the What, First Aid Kit, Adaptation, The Usual Suspects, A Theory of Justice, Beach House, The Big Lebowski, Cloud Atlas, WALL-E, Atmosphere, Modern Times, Other Lives, Fela Kuti, Mad Men, Amelie, The X-Files, Spoon, everything I've ever read by John Grisham and Michael Crichton (I know, I know--judge away), Patrick Watson, The Shawshank Redemption, Hemmingway's short stories, Radiohead, I Heart Huckabees, Beiruit, Fat Freddy's Drop, The Lord of the Rings, Seu Jorge, and most Electronic Dance Music (but not that buzzing, synth-blasting, drop-heavy Dubstep and Electro the kids are playing these days).

On food, I can't handle goat cheese or wasabi, and I also generally don't eat meat, unless the animal it came from was raised and killed in an ethical manner. Not at all judge-y about it though. I love the social aspect of food/cooking, and my housemates and I do family-style dinners quite a bit. If you are who I hope you are, I know what you're thinking and I'm with you: dinner parties are the shit!

Well, there are the real essentials, but since I'm a consumeristic single urban professional, let's go with these:

1) NPR (I bet I can name more NPR reporters by the sound of their voice than you can!)
2) really fucking good headphones
3) Counter Culture coffee
4) my good ol' trusty bicycle
5) Dogfish head IPAs (60 minute is a staple for me, 90 a treat, and--yes--also had the pleasure of tasting the 120 a few moons back)
6) chick peas

where the wild things are.

Also, nature v. nurture, what the Kantian categorical imperative demands in any given situation, the world in 100 years, how people relate to each other, character sketches, story plot lines...

I nerd out like that from time to time.

Big Bawlin'. Alternatively, hosting a dinner party, watching a movie, spinning records, or out on the town for drinks/dancing.

I've been to Guantanamo. Probably not for the reasons you're thinking. But maybe.

you like to get down (whatever that means, you're entitled to your own interpretation).

I'm basically looking for someone who wants to bake pies or go to a show or kick around a soccer ball or drink bourbon or do whatever else sounds fun and inspiring at the moment.

Does that sound like you?

A pretty good rule of thumb is that if you like this music video, we'll get along just fine:

http://www.youtube.com/user/radiohead#p/u/21/cfOa1a8hYP8