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AstoriaColossus

33 Astoria, NY Man

Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24–36
  • Near me
  • For short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight, Sapiosexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 5″ (1.96m)
Body type
Athletic
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
Status
Single
Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), Russian (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Many words can be used to describe me. Among my favorites: Lumberjack. Viking. X-Man. Giant. Galactus, Devourer of Planets.
I'm somewhere between Andy Dwyer and Ron Swanson.

I'm originally from Upstate NY (where we keep all the trees), and spent 2 years in NJ (the nice part, but still... Jersey) before moving to the city 5 years ago.

Is there something between one night stand and girlfriend? Cuz that's what I'm looking for. Something with no pressure or games. I'm not against something real, I've just grown weary of looking, and don't really have the time for anything serious.

Anything else you want to know about me you'll either have to read further or ask me. (Actual contact with another human? That's just crazy talk!)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working. A lot. I'm a union stagehand and freelance all over the city, so I work odd hours sometimes. And when I'm really busy, I work ALL the hours. So I try to make the most of the time I'm not working.
Or sleep. Not gonna lie, I LOVE sleeping. I need to get a job sleeping. Like an MTA employee. (Jokes, America. I got jokes.)
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making people laugh. Either with me or at me.
Useless trivia.
Hitting my head on things and otherwise generally injuring myself in fun new ways.
Making up new lyrics to songs.
Eating delicious food. I eat the FUCK out of good food.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
First they notice I'm tall, and then they make a "witty" comment about it.
Then they notice my hair and tattoos and say who I look like, so far my favorites have been "Sons of Anarchy extra," "giant Dave Grohl," and Pat Battle told me I look like Khal Drogo.

Also apparently I look Croatian. I'm only 1/4 Croat, but the old Balkan men in my neighborhood talk to me like I'm fresh off the boat.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
this list could be pages longer...
Books: pretty much any Vonnegut, Heinlein, or Palahniuk. Steppenwolf, American Gods, Jitterbug Perfume, In Cold Blood, Kitchen Confidential, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Movies: Dirty Dozen, Big Lebowski (and most Coen Brothers), Anchorman, Apocalypse Now, Princess Bride, Matrix, Roger Rabbit, Gangs of NY, anything Gilliam or Tarantino.
TV shows: TDS, GoT (and most HBO), 30 Rock,, LOST, Gotham, Arrested Development, Futurama, Daredevil, Brooklyn 99, Archer
Music: NIN, Springsteen, Metallica, Stones, Clutch, BIG, Paul Simon, John Prine, Black Keys, BRMC, TMBG, FNM, SOAD, most 90s rock & hip-hop, but my tastes range far beyond. Currently big on Run the Jewels and J Roddy Walston & the Business.
Favorite foods: Mexican, Ethiopian, Thai, Indian, Eastern European, pizza, and of course, salt potatoes. You don't even know what those are, but you love them. They're that delicious.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
besides the basics (food/water/shelter/loved ones/sex)? In no order:

- music (I don't think you understand how important music is to me)
- intelligent conversation (I don't get enough)
- a creative outlet (I love making things)
- my car (it's not much, but it's a way out of town, and it's mine)
- naps (sleep is the best)
- I tried to not say "my phone" but who am I kidding?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
My next tattoo.
The semantics of the OKC questions.
The logistics involved in the construction of various structures and buildings.
The paradox of HATING the tourists, but knowing my job depends on all all the sweet money brought in by the chain-smoking Québécois and mouth-breathing Appalachians that clog our sidewalks.
Hoping Québécois women aren't offended by that last statement. UPDATE: at least one is, she wrote to tell me.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
doing the same thing I do every night: try to take over the world.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I will not send you a dick pic. Ever. That's not so much of a private thing, but it is something a LOT of other dudes can't say.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You've got a brain, a personality, and maybe some appealing physical traits, and you're not looking for something serious, there's other guys here you can go to for that.
You're 5'9" or taller. I'm serious, that's a deal breaker. Nothing against shorter women, there's just any number of annoyances that come with dating someone drastically shorter than me.
Also, gentlemen, while I am truly flattered, and glad to know I'd do well for myself if I was bi, I'm not interested. At all. Sorry!