Trapped in your mind, and the sound is deafening" ~ Disturbed, Prayer


Making a quick entry today since I have to start off to work in about 5 minutes. Who cares if it's jumbled though, I doubt anyone reads these, and they're for myself anyway.

I was starting to worry about myself a little, so I showed some of my findings to my friends and family. I never intended to shake their faith, but some of the interesting facts I brought up really made them think. That's what I wanted, I wanted them to think. I wanted them to really see the world from their own mind, and not from the taint of traditions that had been seeded in their behavior from the beginning of time.

I'm still not sure where I am (Sometimes even who I am for that matter..) but I've never been more excited in my life. Each day is full of fresh new discoveries, and I really feel like I'm connecting to something greater. Hopefully soon I'll begin to understand which way I want to go, and what I really should be doing with my life.

Apart from the metaphysical mess, I saw the most awesome movie last night. I've got it quoted on my MSN now. ^.^ So if you get a chance and like a weird, creepy, slightly musical movie check out Sweeney Todd.

My best friend John is on leave for a little while before he ships out to Afghanistan. If you do read this, please pray for his safety. Until he ships out though, I've been trying to show him a good time. Yesterday we went to this awesome Japanese steak house, Sakura. The food there was amazing. Anywho, off to work now.

Gah.. I feel so tired lately. I planted a few tomato plants and some other stuff outside the window of my apartment. There isn't much space there, but it's hopefully hidden away enough that the neighbors/animals won't get into them. I really, really wish I lived somewhere that I could grow everything that I wanted. I really like working with plants and seeing things grow over time, not to mention the fresh food would be awesome.

So I managed to get some nice quartz crystals to play around with during meditation. I suppose there isn't really a scientific way to measure the results, but it's nice thinking that they work, and they look cool. *shrugs*

I also checked out a local Wiccan store, Fly by Night. It was interesting, a place with strange stuff to be found all over. Unfortunately I was in a hurry and didn't get to look around as much as I wanted. The woman there was really nice and I got to ask for her perspective on the religion, and also what reading she would suggest for someone interested in the religion. I bought the book 'Wicca ~ A guide for the solitary practitioner' at her suggestion. It's turning out to be an easy read and pretty down to earth. I haven't gotten very far into it, but it's nice to have a better understanding of the Wicca. At first I was a little unsure about the book, since it's from Llewellyn productions, I had read an astral projection book from that source and it was chuck full of unnecessary spiritual whatnot and focused less on the mind/physical reality of the practice. It still had some credible information though, and this isn't the same author anyway. Speaking of projection, I woke up in the middle of the night the last night and I was in a strange state. I was fully relaxed, yet I could feel this POWERFUL vibration in my spine. This happens to me before projection sometimes, but usually it lasts seven seconds at most and it's all over. This was different, it went on for about two minutes I think, maybe more. It wasn't like projection though, it was like I could feel.. me. It's sometimes hard to say it, think it, and remember it, but I am NOT my body. This was like a slap in the face reminder. I could really feel my spirit on the outside, and like the spine was vibrating because of my unusually strong spiritual energy. It was like my body was the puppet, and for the first time I could feel the strings I used to manipulate it. I know, I'm rambling and sounding crazy, but it was really awesome. I might look into kundalini soon.

Enough about that though. Between work, writing my novel, and hanging out with friends online I haven't been getting much spiritual research done lately, and that's been bugging me. I dunno, I tend to get a little obsessive if I don't work on it a little at a time. Time. <--you suck.

I should sleep all day tomorrow since I'm off. Maybe it'll do me some good. Peace.

Well I'm going down toward Ashville to hang out with some friends for a day or two. It'll be good for me to chill and take my mind off work for a bit.

There is a Pagan shop on High Street I'd like to stop at on the way home Friday. I bumped into their website while searching Google. I'm not a witch but there are a few things I'd like to see if they carry. For a while I've been looking for some good quality charms/crystals. I want something that has a real earthy quality to it. I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for to be honest, but I'll know it when I see it. So with all the magical odds and ends they claim to have hopefully I'll find something worth buying.

If not, I'll still have the experience to remember. While I'm in there I'll ask one of the locals for some suggested reading, since I've started a little side project. The project will be a personal report on different religions of the current day. I was raised Christian, and still hold many of the values and practices, but I've decided to read the Bible again from cover to cover. That's something I haven't done for a while, and maybe I'll find a few pieces of what I'm looking for. At the same time I plan on doing a small investigation into a Wiccan coven, and maybe find a few solitary practitioners to talk to as well. Through reading and talking I hope to find out what the religion is about and why it has survived into this age.

That should take me a good while to investigate, but when I have found sufficient information I'd like to start the process again with Buddhism.

I doubt anyone reads these, but if you have an OPEN MIND and would like to give me a few tips on what your religion is like I'd love to hear from you, especially if it's one that I know little about.

Hinduism
Buddhism
Neo-Paganism (Wiccan?)
Gah, the list goes on but my ride is here. Peace everyone!

So work today wasn't bad. In fact, I usually enjoy the atmosphere and knowing that I'm bringing in some cash. The work isn't too demanding. I'm usually spaced out and thinking about stuff while my body is on auto-pilot, cleaning and stocking the shelves. At the end of the night I got pretty pissed off due to the poor excuse for trash bags they have. I mean honestly, it makes no sense. The bags are large enough to fit a baby elephant or two inside, yet they tear with only a few pounds of weight.

I ended up smiling about it, thinking of the 'Don't get mad, get Glad' commercials. That was after I spent half an hour cleaning up the floor..

Anyway, I got to practice wrapping today. Putting the cellophane stuff around those foam meat trays isn't as easy as you might think. It's not brain surgery or anything, but it's a bit of a demanding task when you need to move quickly. (Pretty much all the time..) While I was wrapping I began to wonder about the cellophane. The stuff sticks really easily, and it was so statically charged that I was getting shocked by static electricity at least once every tray. I don't eat meat anyway, but I began to wonder what effects that might have on food, if any.

I started paying closer attention to the shocks as they happened. I don't know if it was my imagination or what, but my knees started hurting along with my hands. It made me wonder if the electrical fields and currents that we use everyday could have negative effects on our health. It was interesting to think about, since everyone nowadays seems to have a cell phone or personal music player or some other gadget.

I found myself wishing that I could go to some place hidden away from the world, like one of those Buddhist temples in the mountains to meditate and think for a few weeks. This isn't the first time I've wished for it, but the first for that reason alone. Maybe the next time I get a few days off I'll take a camping trip out in the wild to do my spiritual work.

Yeah, my mind dances from one thing to another pretty easily, but I promise I'm always working my hardest. ;)

So in a nutshell, do all of the electronics and stuff we use effect spiritual/physical health? If you're browsing, feel free to comment. I'm going to find someplace to get a hold of nice crystals for a little experiment I've been planning.

Peace. *waves*