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22 M Houston, TX

My Details

Last Online
Today – 6:12pm
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Not at all
Christianity, and somewhat serious about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly), Japanese (Poorly)

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My self-summary
[You know what? I think I might turn this into a serious profile]

I fit the starving college student stereotype. I left the Texas Maritime Academy to pursue a career business/computer systems.

Although I love camping and am an Eagle Scout, I am an indoors type of person. Sometimes I make pillow forts and pretend I am outdoors. I make little animals out of the throw pillows and hunt Pringles with a Nerf gun. I can cook for myself, and my cooking will send your tastebuds to heaven. Seriously. I will totally gloat about how awesome my cooking is.

I love comics. Don't you judge me.

I am also a bit of a computer geek. I love video games, and play on the PC. Sometimes I think my computer is trying to control me though, as I occasionally walk in to do homework and my computer is there, seducing me with its alluring glow to Reddit, and Fark.
What I’m doing with my life
I currently work at a genetics company and am studying so I can become marketing director, I love selling things. I feel I may have missed my calling as a door to door vacuum salesman, women dig those guys, right?

Someday I hope to be able to go into space, solely so I can eat cheez-its in zero gravity. Also for bragging rites. Because space.

Besides that, learning to melt things with my mind. That would be cool.
I’m really good at
Taking groceries from the car to the house in one trip, I struggle until I get the last bag of soda curled around my pinky and swagger over to the front door in the hopes that a beautiful lady might see my victory over the groceries, and think "DAYUM! that's the kind of man I want in my life, a one-tripper, a man who takes charge and gets things done."

This one time I caught a bird and let him go because he said he would grant me three wishes. That son of a bitch owes me three wishes.

I really had no clue what to write here. 'Bullshitting" would have been more appropriate, I guess.
The first things people usually notice about me
My butt, its so big, I have to walk sideways through doorways so I don't get stuck. Serious badonkadonk.

My butt is not actually big, I don't know what possessed me to say that.

I do however, have big hands. There is shit that's stomped on Tokyo that couldn't grow into these nut-crushers.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I can't afford books so I read the back of cereal boxes, nutrition labels, and billboards

When I have money I love to eat normal people food like steak, potatoes, and seafood, when I don't, tree bark, sand, and gravel.

Honestly, I will eat anything, seriously, I'm like a garbage disposal. I can eat an amazing amount of seafood. Its seriously impressive. Tell your friends.
The six things I could never do without
If I were stranded on a desert island and could only bring six things, I would bring:
1. Michael Phelps
2. A saddle
3. A gold medal tied onto a stick with a piece of string
4. A book
5. A compass
6. Horse feed
If I had a seventh spot, I would put some nice speakers in him, so I can listen to music while I ride home.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What it would be like if everybody was an adrenaline junkie, wouldn't the world be more badass?

My zombie plan. Which involves selling the rest of you out for a leadership role among the zombies.
On a typical Friday night I am
Same thing I do every night, Pinky, try to take over the world.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I use humor to cheer myself up.

I licked the microwave once when I was a kid because I thought it would give me super powers.

I've been using as motivation to lose weight, eat right, and stay in shape.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Please take a step back, and breathe. Remember, I read all of your hate mail, and it makes me laugh.

Seriously though, just message me. I always respond, even if you look like Gorgo the smog monster.
Should I make this section longer?
If you find me funny.
If you know any good jokes.
Please send more than just "Haaaaaaaaay, Hey, Hey there, hi, etc. seriously. Ask me a question, none of those are conversation starters."
If you aren't insane.
If you have all your teeth
If you bathe regularly (If your scent could kill a boar at 40 feet, don't bother.)
Can type like a normal person and not lYk DyS
You DON'T have 30 kids (Kids scare me. I'm not good with tiny hands.)
If you can do the splits in more than 2 ways
If you can play the piano/violin/cello
If you don't do copious amounts of drugs
If you are interested in me and live less than 100 miles away
If you don't make a duckface in any of your photos (It looks like you are trying to suck a bowling ball through a straw)