You should know that I'm kind of an asshole. All my life I've had the burden of being the extremely handsome good looking guy. It sucks to be always treated like a piece of meat! If you are only looking to hook up with me please move on! A little about me I like to play guitar, soccer, go to giants/a's games and shows.

Twerkin'

Probably the white doves that get released when I step outside of a building

Or

If I'm already outside they notice my voluptuous curves.

Books: mostly non fiction, but would like to start reading fiction. Any suggestions?

Shows: Mad Men, archer, weeds, breaking bad, Stella, game of thrones, Downton Abbey, Hell on wheels

Radio: Howard Stern, Jim Rome, Damon Bruce

Podcasts: Up and in baseball prospectus podcast, Productive outs, Scientific Podcast goes boink

Music: Avail, Minor threat, fugazi, gorilla biscuits, kill your idols, radon, inquisition, Lucero, strike anywhere, rvivr, good luck,comadre, jawbreaker, 1994!, algernon cadwallader, young livers,the pixies, the replacements, the ergs, ke$ha, Miley Cyrus, Backstreet/beastie Boys. Mostly punk and hardcore but I like slow sad country songs as well.

Movies: Bronson, Bad lieutenant, stripes, planes trains and automobiles, dumb and dumber, sin city

A good guitar, and a whaling song

Freedom of Speech

Tom Selleck
Tom Sellecks mustache
Tom Sellecks hairy chest

Alanis morrisettes first album was about Joey Gladstone. What in the h*ck yall?

"What if Kermit The Frog was a real living being that everyone in the world got to meet just once at the worst time in their life for comfort?" -@emmycic

Why so many of you are looking for a man to keep you on your toes. Like just buy special shoes or something if it's THAT important that your heels never touch the ground.

Screaming at the top of my lungs that "I'm about that life"

Haha thanks for making it this far but it's time now to thin the herd. I don't drink alcohol. I don't hate it. It's just not my thing.

You've got that "home alone 2 bird lady" swag

You want to take me out for dinner. You are chivalrous, and will open the door for a gentleman, send me flowers and chocolate just because. You know, stuff guys love. Also ladies, this may be shallow but please be tall, I like to wear heels and I hate towering over my date! Just being real! :)

You ain't a chicken. Seriously if you're a chicken and you can read and type and you're on an online dating website smdh you rascal! Go back to laying your cage free eggs and shit.

If you have a rescued pit bull I can pet or other dog you are exempt from the above requirements.