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31 Chicago, IL Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 26–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Oct 2
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Working on Ph.D program
Open relationship
Mostly non-monogamous
English (Okay), Other (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Getting my stupid idiot Ph.D. in clinical psychology WHATEVER
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
- confronting demons.
- applying Hanlon's Razor.
- explaining jokes. I hope you like your jokes explained.
- dealing with the dilemma of being a meaning-making creature in a world without inherent meaning.
- drafting professional wrestlers and divas for my fantasy professional wrestling league.
- screaming into the void.
- gently whispering into the void.
- tenderly caressing the void.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Hella loud laugh.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
TV - Golden Girls; Elementary; Twin Peaks; True Detective; Breaking Bad; Star Trek

Movies - Air Bud: Spikes Back; Air Bud: World Pup; and Air Bud: Golden Receiver (in that order). But NOT Air Bud, or Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch (terrible, terrible movie).

Books - The Last Air Bud by J. M. Coetzee; Air Bud is for Everyone by bell hooks; Baby Geniuses, The Book (a novelization of the 1999 smash hit comedy movie, Baby Geniuses)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
- Vipassana
- Soccer. Unless I blow my knees out again and then: fuck it.
- Kangaroo Jack on BluRay
- L.A. Beast
- My charming boyfriend, MoopocalypseCow
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
- how to smash the goddamn White Supremacist Capitalist Patriarchy
- power dynamics.
- if Sisyphus is really happy? (The answer is: yes. (I gotta believe, man. I gotta believe.))
- WWC(ftcs)D???
(What Would Cathy (from the comic strip) Do?) (and then do the opposite.)
- the cognitive and affective underpinnings of humor.
- the politics of humor. (Always punch up.)
- crafting the perfect facebook status.
- how to get the dog to stop licking the carpet.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
who cares
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've cried while watching Drop Dead Diva. However, rather than attributing that to being pathetic, I prefer to believe it is a manifestation of a profound capacity to connect with the human experience through various forms of art, regardless of merit.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I am already in a relationship and fantastically lazy. This combination results in me being sub-par at responding to messages- even the most thoughtful ones. For this, I apologize.
But sometimes I do!
So if you're okay with the possibility of me not responding and/or you didn't bother to read this, then by all means, fire away.