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34 New York, NY Man


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 21-100
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Used up
Post grad
Doesn’t have kids
English (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
My favorite quote is “Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.” It speaks to my inner math-nerd’s fascination with numbers and female anatomy.

Carbohydrates are my illicit drug of choice. Give me a bagel and a muffin and I will go "OH YEAH!! LETS PAR-TAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!"

When in Rome, I do as the Carthaginians do.

I have a (probably unhealthy) crush on Daria Morgendorffer.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Living and working in midtown, helping the rich get richer for a pittance.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Excel. (I am like a gorilla in the excel monkey jungle).

Beating girls at arm wrestling.

Enjoying the little things in life.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
On many occasions I have been told I remind them of Shrek. Turns out a lot women are attracted to Shrek. Who knew?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Adventure time.

The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Serenity, courage and wisdom.

Also an alarm clock, naps, and cheese.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Does eating most of my lunches at chop't make me less of a man?

What exactly is a stud muffin? Is it like a muffin version of shepherd's pie?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Playing it by the ear.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If we are eating together and I am not in a good mood, you should not let me order for the group. I will order enough food for an army.

I cant dance to save my life, yet I somehow ended up in a dance off in the middle of a club recently..... I guess the moral of the story is vodka is awesome....

I want to hate the anaconda song, I really do, but it amuses me way too much.

Sometimes I make major life decision for a good pun.

I don't have any selfies and in a silly way I am kind of proud of that.

My massages are illegal in 17 states for being too intoxicating.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have no overwhelming reasons not to.

If you are willing and able to help me out with head and hand stands.

Also, if you recognize the venue for the fox picture and would like to go the next one together.