All blowjob offers immediately skip to "send message"; you don't need to show that you can talk to suck a dick. And if you frequent tumblr, I'm so sorry.
I'm just your typical, cis-gendered scum of the earth and I'm sorry for that. I'll be sure to check my privilege extra hard as I recite my prayers to the Almighty Matriarch of the Feminist Covenant tonight. May Her growing power bring about Femmageddon and the smashing of the evil, tyrannical patriarchy. Pls gib me de pusi.
I don’t know what I should say and evidently neither do any of you, so cut me some slack. If I had to describe myself I guess I’d call myself a cynical, caustic cunt. Yeah, I know, not quite alliteration, but it looks visually appealing doesn't it? It’s like some kind of visual alliteration; visualiteration if you will. Yeah, laugh now, but this shit would have totally flown in Shakespeare’s time and I’d be heralded as a literary genius instead of the struggling literary genius that I currently am. Read my fanfiction, you’ll see what I mean.
So, I’m a bit of an asshole. The lovable kind, though. Not the kind that would tell you you’re the only one for me while banging half the chicks in town, but rather the kind that tells you that you smell weird, asks where you got your clothes only to immediately ask if you if you had retrieved them from the toilet store and laughs every time you fall over or trip over yourself and bring it up every chance I get, but you still hang out with me because apparently you think this shit’s funny.
Oh, and I guess I have a bunch of interests and shit, but who cares about that, right? It’s not like I’m human or anything. Are any of us really human, though? What makes one human, anyway? Bam, philosophy. Aren't I some smart shit. I’m like Socrastopheles or Pluto, I tell you. Listen to my ramblings and I’m sure you’ll bask in how fucking intelligent I am; surrender your pussy to me.
All in all, though, I am actually kind of an alright person. I'm not nice 100% of the time (far from that) but I figure I'm just nice enough to maintain friendships and the interests of girls I think are cute. Just put in what you want to get out, be nice and you'll get nice.