Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

AutumnFantasies

28 Helsinki, Finland Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 20–32
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Dec 6
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Mostly vegetarian
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Atheism
Sign
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on masters program
Job
Science / Engineering
Income
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Speaks
English (Fluently), Finnish (Fluently), Swedish (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
People are fascinating, don't you think? With all their tastes, quirks, and thoughts, their ways of feeling, of thinking, of experiencing the world. What are you like? What made you the way you are?

Not just individual people: groups of them, too, and the ways they interact. The way it's possible for two people to connect despite only having known each other for a while, the way a writer may distill the experience of a whole generation or social class into a single novel, the way that people try to select what sides of themselves to show in public.

Other things are fascinating too. The way water forms pools and rivers after rain, the way computer programs combine countless of tiny modules to make up a larger whole, the way mathematical and geometrical patterns are everywhere around us if we just want to see them.

The world is beautiful, and I want to help make it a better place. That has been my quest for the last several years, though I'm not sure if I have accomplished much. But I have done some small things, and eventually I might manage to do more.

But I would want to do it together with someone. If you feel you have a calling for making the world a better place, will you join me in my quest? Or just be my friend, and give me a glimpse to the mystery of your soul?

--

All of my relationships so far have been polyamorous ones, though I'm in principle open to the possibility of a monogamous relationship with the right person.

I have noticed honesty - both to others and to yourself - to usually be the best policy. Mentioning that something bothers you is usually better than trying to pretend there isn't any problem. I strongly prefer the kind of company in which everyone can be honest about their feelings, and feel safe in doing so.

I try to be vegetarian, but frequently fail.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I have previously done a bunch of stuff, from writing three non-fiction books to participating in politics to working for a non-profit concerned with the risks of advanced technology. Unfortunately I have not always been good at avoiding burnouts. Right now I'm working part-time and using my spare time to learn to take things a bit easier. Leo Babauta writes:

Many of us do this, but if you get into the mindset of thinking about what you *could* be doing, you’ll never be happy doing what you actually *are* doing. You’ll compare what you’re doing with what other people (on Facebook and Twitter, perhaps?) are doing. You’ll wish your life were better. You’ll never be satisfied, because there’s *always* something better to do.

Instead, I’ve adopted the mindset that whatever I’m doing right now is perfect. If I’m writing a post, that’s amazing. If I’m reading blog posts on the Internet, that’s interesting. If I’m doing nothing but hanging out with my family, that’s incredible. If I’m walking outside, enjoying the fresh air, that’s beautiful.

This is the mindset that I'm currently trying to learn, and to feel more free from all the different "shoulds" and obligations that I've picked up over the years. I have a few months to do that, after that I'll need to resume my Master's thesis again: but hopefully in a more relaxed manner this time around.

And I do want to eventually help save the world, in one form or another. But it'll have to wait for a while. At least a couple of months.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Understanding different viewpoints and perspectives.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My long red hair.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books, non-fiction:

* Nonviolent Communication, by Marshall Rosenberg. Reading this book helped me solve several arguments and superficial disagreements I'd previously had with friends, as it taught me to reword my instinctive angry thoughts into more objective and informative terms - thereby helping find out just why we were disagreeing in the first place.
* The Charisma Myth, by Olivia Fox Cabane. Previously I had always felt bad about the fact that I wasn't very talkative, and often had difficulties coming up with things to say. Naturally, being self-conscious about this fact would make me nervous and panicky about "what should I say!" in conversations, making the issue worse. Probably the biggest single thing that the book did was to make me realize that the most of a person's charisma actually comes from general demeanor and body language, meaning that a person can be charismatic even if they're not very talkative.
* Stein On Writing, by Sol Stein. The best book on writing that I've ever read, useful and inspiring at the same time. Provides advice on both fiction and non-fiction writing.
* Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion by Jonathan Haidt. While there are a number of reasonable criticisms that can be made against Haidt’s work, he still does an excellent job of exploring the foundations of conservative and liberal morality, and showing in how they differ. His explanation of the ways by which human moral reasoning is to a large extent rationalization is also excellent.
* Why Everyone (Else) Is a Hypocrite: Evolution and the Modular Mind, by Robert Kurzban. Does an amazing job of exploring the modular nature of the human mind, and its many implications.

I don't read much non-fiction these days, but in the past I've liked authors such as Alastair Reynolds, Robin Hobb, and Terry Pratchett. When it comes to specific books, Watership Down and Lord of the Rings are two old favorites. I don't like Greg Egan's newer work as much as his older stuff, but Permutation City and Diaspora were awesome.

Movies

Star Wars, Gravity, Lego, Dr. Strangelove, V for Vendetta, The Princess Bride and Ghost in the Shell were nice.

Shows

Babylon 5, The Wire, Star Trek: The Next Generation. Series that I like, but haven't gotten around watching all of, are Pasila, Firefly, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Game of Thrones, Death Note, and Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex. Inuyasha is an old guilty pleasure.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Not sure: I'm pretty adaptable. But let's say friends, writing, the Internet, and a relatively stress-free way of getting an income. That's four, but I can't think of what the fifth and sixth would be, besides obvious things like "sleep" and "shelter".
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The way my thoughts and emotions feel like. Where I'm going with my life. Technology and the future. The sciences and the arts. Other people. What I'd like to write.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At a friend's sauna.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I enjoy BDSM. Not so much the purely physical kind, but rather the kind with a strong emotional focus (so DS rather than B). Being the dominant partner is the easiest for me, though if there was a person that I trusted enough and who was sufficiently skilled, being in the submissive role would give me an even stronger trip.

Which isn't to say that I wouldn't enjoy plain ordinary sex as well. I'd probably be fine even with a a partner who wasn't into BDSM at all.

On the topic of sex, especially of late I seem to have been having strong demisexual tendencies. That's to say, although I do view attractive people as attractive, I don't actually feel like having sex with them until we're more connected on an emotional level.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You would like to sit together somewhere and enjoy a cup of something nice, talking about everything under the sun - and other stars besides.

You have a healthy understanding of what you want, and are honest about your likes and feelings.

You like hugs and cuddles.

Add a photo to:

Stay fresh with Instagram

Are you sure you want to delete this album?

Where's your photo?

Drop it like it’s hot

Photos must be at least 400 x 400px
Edit thumbnail
Add a caption

You look fantastic!