29 Helsinki, Finland
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My self-summary
People are fascinating, don't you think? With all their tastes, quirks, and thoughts, their ways of feeling, of thinking, of experiencing the world. What are you like? What made you the way you are?

Not just individual people: groups of them, too, and the ways they interact. The way it's possible for two people to connect despite only having known each other for a while, the way a writer may distill the experience of a whole generation or social class into a single novel, the way that people try to select what sides of themselves to show in public.

Other things are fascinating too. The way water forms pools and rivers after rain, the way computer programs combine countless of tiny modules to make up a larger whole, the way mathematical and geometrical patterns are everywhere around us if we just want to see them.

The world is beautiful, and I want to help make it a better place. That has been my quest for the last several years, though I'm not sure if I have accomplished much. But I have done some small things, and eventually I might manage to do more.

But I would want to do it together with someone. If you feel you have a calling for making the world a better place, will you join me in my quest? Or just be my friend, and give me a glimpse to the mystery of your soul?


All of my relationships so far have been polyamorous ones, though I'm in principle open to the possibility of a monogamous relationship with the right person.

I have noticed honesty - both to others and to yourself - to usually be the best policy. Mentioning that something bothers you is usually better than trying to pretend there isn't any problem. I strongly prefer the kind of company in which everyone can be honest about their feelings, and feel safe in doing so.

I try to be vegetarian, but frequently fail.
What I’m doing with my life
I had a bunch of burnouts earlier on, as well as a mild depression that I'd apparently had for years without realizing it. Then I got medication (in the summer of 2014) and started feeling a whole lot better. Even though I've still had the occasional down periods after that, on the whole I feel like I've been experiencing some of the fastest growth in my life recently.

Currently I'm working on my Master's thesis and, on the side, trying to build an organization that would teach people the skills and mindsets needed for solving every possible problem in life. One has to have some ambition, after all.
I’m really good at
Understanding different viewpoints and perspectives.
The first things people usually notice about me
My long red hair.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books, non-fiction:

* Nonviolent Communication, by Marshall Rosenberg. Reading this book helped me solve several arguments and superficial disagreements I'd previously had with friends, as it taught me to reword my instinctive angry thoughts into more objective and informative terms - thereby helping find out just why we were disagreeing in the first place.
* The Charisma Myth, by Olivia Fox Cabane. Previously I had always felt bad about the fact that I wasn't very talkative, and often had difficulties coming up with things to say. Naturally, being self-conscious about this fact would make me nervous and panicky about "what should I say!" in conversations, making the issue worse. Probably the biggest single thing that the book did was to make me realize that the most of a person's charisma actually comes from general demeanor and body language, meaning that a person can be charismatic even if they're not very talkative.
* Stein On Writing, by Sol Stein. The best book on writing that I've ever read, useful and inspiring at the same time. Provides advice on both fiction and non-fiction writing.
* Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion by Jonathan Haidt. While there are a number of reasonable criticisms that can be made against Haidt’s work, he still does an excellent job of exploring the foundations of conservative and liberal morality, and showing in how they differ. His explanation of the ways by which human moral reasoning is to a large extent rationalization is also excellent.
* Why Everyone (Else) Is a Hypocrite: Evolution and the Modular Mind, by Robert Kurzban. Does an amazing job of exploring the modular nature of the human mind, and its many implications.

I don't read much non-fiction these days, but in the past I've liked authors such as Alastair Reynolds, Robin Hobb, and Terry Pratchett. When it comes to specific books, Watership Down and Lord of the Rings are two old favorites. I don't like Greg Egan's newer work as much as his older stuff, but Permutation City and Diaspora were awesome.


Star Wars, Gravity, Lego, Dr. Strangelove, V for Vendetta, The Princess Bride and Ghost in the Shell were nice.


Babylon 5, The Wire, Star Trek: The Next Generation. Series that I like, but haven't gotten around watching all of, are Pasila, Firefly, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Game of Thrones, Death Note, and Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex. Inuyasha is an old guilty pleasure.
The six things I could never do without
Not sure: I'm pretty adaptable. But let's say friends, writing, the Internet, and a relatively stress-free way of getting an income. That's four, but I can't think of what the fifth and sixth would be, besides obvious things like "sleep" and "shelter".
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The way my thoughts and emotions feel like. Where I'm going with my life. Technology and the future. The sciences and the arts. Other people. What I'd like to write.
On a typical Friday night I am
At a friend's sauna.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I enjoy BDSM. Not so much the purely physical kind, but rather the kind with a strong emotional focus (so DS rather than B). Being the dominant partner is the easiest for me, though if there was a person that I trusted enough and who was sufficiently skilled, being in the submissive role would give me an even stronger trip.

Which isn't to say that I wouldn't enjoy plain ordinary sex as well. I'd probably be fine even with a a partner who wasn't into BDSM at all.
You should message me if
You would like to sit together somewhere and enjoy a cup of something nice, talking about everything under the sun - and other stars besides.

You have a healthy understanding of what you want, and are honest about your likes and feelings.

You like hugs and cuddles.