Someone very nice once said I "have THREE good senses of humor." I also have a sharp sense of style!

My to-date tenure of unattached living leaves me financially and emotionally well-equipped for a relationship. For example, I do not currently have any commitment issues, hostile ex-girlfriends, or liens against my property. If you are interested in supplying me with these problems, we'll get along swimmingly!

Allow me to explain the success of our future romance. I am investigating options for addressing you by "pet names." Current terms under consideration are "baby," "ladybug," and "my stalk of celery."

I have several plans in development to inject spontaneity into our lives. For example, 1) taking you out to dinner on your half-birthday, 2) sneaking up and tickling you when you are unaware of my presence, 3) secretly meeting with your sister, making you jealous. Let's discuss a timeline for implementing these and other surprises.

Being serious: I love my life terribly, and you can be a part of it! I look into the future on a daily basis. I'm not content to follow the path life lays out for me. My goal is to find all the things that make me happy and fill the rest of my days with them exclusively (so please be one of those things!)

I'm a software engineer, but my first passion is being a parody of myself. I also love to work towards perfecting my art of dancing. I live in the moment and the best way to do that is with quality friendships!

I'm also trying to start a subculture, so that I can some day see my fashion ideas commercially exploited at Hot Topic.

My dream job would be breaking into buildings, but I haven't figured out how to monetize that... beyond the obvious.

remembering things, making mixed drinks and smoothies, and changing my personality to match the desires of the people (or policemen) around me.

I'm also pretty handy for climbing trees and riding the unicycle. I can play ukulele or interpret literature or poetry! I'm not bad at writing silly nonsense, so take a look at my journal!

People often notice that I start dancing while talking to them. I am especially prone to do this when music is playing in the background, or when in the audience of heads of state.

Of course, before any dancing they see my hats! I love to wear a stylish hat. So, if you go for the "Foppish Dandy" type, I'm your man.

I think looking for a mate with the same media tastes as you is like trying to find a doctor with the same shoe size as you. Nonetheless, I'm always happy to talk about:

The Brothers Karamazov, Jane Eyre, anything written by Jane Austen, the Rubaiyyat of Omar Khayyam

funk, disco, new wave, synthpop, eurobeat, eurodance, 8-bit, breaks and old-school hip hop

I'm pretty crazy for bread bowls. If I could, I would serve everything in a bread bowl. Even things that don't really belong with bread (like ice cream) and things that don't really belong in bowls (like tacos.)

Sight, Sound, Taste, Touch, Proprioception, Equilibrioception...

(smell can just bugger right off.)

Handstands, acrobatics, dance moves, martial arts moves, cool voices, cool stances, cool clothes, cute girls, beautiful vistas, "stop talking to yourself, dork."

At the San Diego DanceJam! I dance a lot.

... but not there. I go to DanceJam to sling coke.

I'm a former Christian, former monetarist, former ascetic, former nihilist, former pacifist, former communist, and former marching band member. I change my mind a lot, but I like to think I'm very open to convincing arguments!

I'm very good at changing the topic of conversation. Ask me about it sometime (and I'll tell you about something else!)

you misread the prompt above as "you should massage me if," as I did, and thought "all the time!"

... as I did.

OR, if share an interest of mine. In fact, if you're pressed for time, don't worry: feel free to use the following form to contact me with minimal effort!

"Dear David,

I noticed while browsing your profile a mutual enjoyment of [interest]. Please share your opinion of [aspect of interest]. I feel that [insert opinion here].

Affectionately, [your name]"

Aren't you curious about something I've said here? Or, does it make you think of something about yourself? I want to know!