Me in a less literal bad joke-y nutshell: I'm a kickboxing, cooking, video gaming vet tech.
Now the non-Cliffnotes version... First of all, I love animals, and have chosen to care for them as my line of work for the foreseeable future. Fun fact: I'm allergic to a lot of animals! I guess you're free to infer whatever you like from that.
Food is one of my favourite things ever. I'm happy to try everything I can, and attempt to make whatever I like myself. I usually get something... edible at least after a few attempts. I like to think I've built up a decent repertoire of things I can cook now.
I try not to take life too seriously (we're not getting out of it alive anyways) and take every opportunity I get to make light of pretty much everything. Unfortunately, this paired with my tendency towards sarcasm makes it hard for people to tell if I'm actually speaking with any sincerity. Which is actually sort of funny sometimes. I am actually capable of having a serious conversation though, I promise! And in hindsight, this was not the most convincing way to preface that.