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Preface: You may browse me, I may browse you... If you think to yourself, "Maybe he'll contact me." or "I'll wait for him to contact me." well that will not happen. Women are essentially drinking from the fire hose when it comes to the massive influx of IM's and messages. My message to you 99% of the time goes unopened or is lost in the flood.

-You- should contact -Me- first otherwise there will be no contact at all.
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I'm Mike...

I live next to the ocean and work from home most of the time if I can. I run Operations/Engineering for a big Shopping Searchalator over in Silicon Valley, tech stuff. To offset that I surf, ride motorcycles, and race a Formula 1 sidecar professionally on the Superside America National circuit.

I am not a thrill seeker or one of those Mt. Dew adrenaline junkie goofballs. But I do find a particular sense of peace and calm in the speed and fury on the race track, working with machinery and fabricating/welding in the garage. It offers a nice calming balance to the highly technical nature of my employment. There is a brain in my head, I do have a healthy sense of my own mortality.

I'm not rich, I'm not trying to come off as some wealthy racer playboy who's stroking his ego. I work for a living and pay my bills just like the rest of the proles.

Sometimes I tell myself jokes out loud and laugh. Sometimes it scares people to see me doing that... Especially when my face has a lunatic grin on it, my eyes are wide, and I lean over close in line in the DMV and tell them, "I'd never heard that one before".

I was told that the above paragraph was 'scary' by a female friend. I thought it was funny and gave good insight into some of the unique facets of my personality.

Like I stated above. I spend a good deal of time at closed circuit road courses across the United States with other like-minded individuals trying to bend the laws of physics for the reward of nothing more than a cheap plastic trophy, a bottle of bubbly, and the glory that goes along with it.

YouTube Video of what that looks like.

I love my job, I'm not just some drone in a cube farm or cog in an endless gray corporate machine. I love solving complex technical problems in freaky ways that shouldn't exist in nature. My favorite response when I hear,"You can't do it that way, Mike." is "Why not?".

So I wake up in the morning looking forward to the four step commute over to my desk to check on things and see how the office and production infrastructure are doing. Not many people can really say they feel rewarded by their work. I am. I like start-up companies, I am drawn to them. And I've always done well in the start-up environment.

Five year plan? Continue to develop and grow the tech start-up while starting my race-oriented business "Bad Cat Racing, LLC" to tax shelter the racing expenses that my sponsors do not cover. Also to crank out some really cool composite and unobtanium parts for the F1 cars I race.

I'm building my skill set on the track to go overseas and run with the big boys on the European FIM Superside circuit. I'm not happy with just getting to National Champion here in the United States. I want to be FIM Superside World Champion.

And all these guys in this box over here? ---------------------->

I've run into them around town, skeevy... They'll try to send you a picture of their 'cute new puppy' and when you open it up you can bet dollars to donuts it will be a picture of their junk flopped out of some unwashed underwear. Don't fall for it.

Making people laugh.

Yeah, people tend to put that in their profile a lot. But no... Seriously. I'll floor you. I'll twist your universe inside out. I'll redefine your perception of dark and bent humor. Usually being within auditory range around me is akin to being hit in the face with a cricket bat at random intervals.

I grew up in a family that required thinking on your feet, the inability to never let slip with a straight line, and a lightning rapier wit forged like white-hot Damascus steel by years of parental and sibling sparring. I have a wide array of surgically sharp verbal arrows at the ready in my quiver.

I'm not one of those people who's constantly 'on', but let a straight line slip around me and usually I can't help myself. I like to smile and laugh.

I'm mechanically adept. Nothing in my home is broken or ever in any state of disrepair. I perform all the service on my vehicles because I enjoy doing so. And I don't mean just changing the oil.

And I love designing and fabricating things. Give me a grinder, a welder, chop saw, and materials, tell me what you want and what you would like it to do... A few hours later you will have form functional art for your home.

Speaking and writing. Women as a rule have always been pleasantly surprised upon experiencing the overall length and breadth of my diction.

I can dance... It's weird, but I can dance well, I don't know where I get that gene. For some reason I have a DNA encoded sense of rhythm.

I like roller derby and I attempt roller skating regularly myself...

One is amazingly brutal and violent, involving screams of agony and pain while bodies hit the floor. The other involves two skilled teams skating laps under a set of rules for points.

Oh let us go down the list shall we?

"Why is he grinning like that, And why is that bag moving?"

"This is a corporate board meeting, and he's wearing rollerskates?"

"This guy dresses like a clown college exploded and he was caught in the blast radius."

"The theater is practically empty, he could have sat anywhere, and this guy had to pick the seat right next to me? And doesn't he realize this is a drive-in?"

Terry Pratchett, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Daft Punk, Gnocchi

It's not unusual for my jukebox to go from Frank Sinatra to Public Enemy to Fishbone to TurboNegro to Stromkern to Faith No More to Ministry to Patsy Cline to Richard Cheese without skipping a beat...

Most the time the crossfades give anybody in the room with me a brain aneurysm.

Everybody always puts something like Water, Oxygen, Food, Sunlight, Shelter, Sleep and thinks they're being the pinnacle of humor.

~ My Motorcycles and Roadracing, it's part of my soul.
~ My Books and bookcase, I am a word sponge.
~ Coffee, I -love- coffee.
~ A nice bed with a couple real thick comforters.
~ My tools, machinery, and shop space.
~ My sense of humor and ability to laugh at myself.
~ Real Music. Popular culture can keep its American Idol and Survivor.

If you think your iPhone, shoes, who got voted off the island, and loud bars full of college drunks are important... Kindly go away.

Lunch, and generally when I'm not thinking about lunch I can't seem to get the "I dream of Jeanie" soundtrack out of endless-loop on the tape-deck in my head.

Usually in the shop, working on the F1 or the Ducati with the garage door open so I can hear the ocean and the stereo playing. Or I'm curled up on the couch or bed under a comforter watching movies or cartoons with the cat. Yes, I know... exciting.

Contact me, and I could possibly be sitting somewhere unique with you in the near future... listening to your laughter.

I'm not wearing pants at the moment. And the AC in this Borders internet cafe is cranked up way too high.

The only other thing.... My main weakness is good eyes and a smile. A combination of those two and a woman owns me.

You have access to Rodeo Clowns, your medical insurance premiums are paid up, you've come to a point in your life where you think nothing else could possibly shock or disturb you any longer, you've never reflected on life while going really Really REALLY fast in a moving vehicle on a race track, or the idea of a man that may suddenly just start into a disturbingly-accurate Buffalo-Bill-Silence-of-the-Lambs impersonation with no provocation or apparent set up at all while staring off blankly into space makes you giggle a little...

I'm looking for a real relationship, no games, a real click... a BAM as the Portuguese guy in the white cooking smock on TV says. I'm tired of indecisive wishy-washy BS, and I know what I want out of life, where I am going, and who I am looking for.

I have female friends on OkC that are friends in the Real World, they'll personally vouch on my behalf that for some reason I'm really easy to relax around and be yourself, without coming off as the 'creepy friend' guy. One is even a Notary...