__________OBSERVATIONS BY A MAN___________
Q1. Will I meet a lover on OKQ?
The short answer is no. Because its ridiculous to assume that this
is a supermarket shelf filled with products to chose from by simply
reading the ingredients and looking at the label.
At best it is something akin to an art gallery with a unique work
of art that needs to be understood in all of its complexity. If
somehow it leads to intimacy then this is a triumph of trust and
hope over fear and self deception.
Q2. Is this even worth doing?
Of course it is. But the easy part is the summary, photos and
questions. The hard part is what happens when someone says hello.
My god, this piece of fart (damn this f key) I mean art actually
responded to me. Now what to do?
If I say nothing I will be ignored. If I say something flippant,
I'll seem to be arrogant. If I try for clever and fail, I will seem
to be boring. And on it goes..........
Its definitely safer to not reply if you are looking for just a
But if you are looking, for and at, a work of art then you have
every right to carefully examine the merchandise with no
reservations. Indulge yourself. That's why you joined.
Q3. First contact with alien being.
When you meet by phone or in person, don't pull out your ruler and
review how he measures up to your criteria.
Try to find out what is not in the profile. Is he kind, brave,
generous, inquisitive, intelligent, humorous, accepting,
and the like. Use that information to visualize if you can spend
time with this strange person. In the same way he is trying to
respond to your subliminal messages as well. Whatever the outcome,
its always heartwarming to see how hard we all try to find
fulfillment in each others company.
Q4. What are my apparent priorities?
If you describe yourself as a happy and contented individual with
your kids, friends, family, dog, god, cats and imply that there is
minor role that could be filled by an especially magnificent
it would be safe for this special man to assume that he will be
somewhere between #4 & #5 on your priority list.
No thank you, might be the proper reply to you.
Q5. Does anybody read our summaries?
Yes, and very carefully. They also compare the summary to the
photos. After that, they discount the self-serving nonsense to see
if anything useful is left over that may reveal how this person
fthinks. (I think this key still fsticks or stinks or
Q6.When people actually meet each other face to face another great
dilemma occurs. We find that the the other person becomes a mirror
that forces us to relearn what our own needs and wants are. Since
our own identity is often based on self-deception which is
supported by our culture (Me included), this experience can be
truly hair raising.
But be brave, don't flee, don't hide. It can be the beginning of a
real but scary change in ourselves, and that's often good.
So there, some worthless observations and there are many more out
there. Are any of them helpful at all?
Do you have any fobservations of your own?
If you do, please let me know.
Q7. My statistics.
To be perfectly honest, after a year on OKC, they are dreadful. And
I suppose that its because I am ultimately a seeker of joy rather
than someone who seeks comfort in life. Sigh....but I have to
accept this. Apparently this is not a topic worthy of mention in
the essay questions.
Anyhow, of the many persons that I contacted, I managed to share a
"cup of coffee" with less than 2%. It seems that this chemistry
thing is truly an elusive element especially after the usual
deal-breakers are eliminated.
And so I guess it should be, considering that each friendship has
the capacity to change our lives.