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30 F Mesa, AZ

I’m looking for

  • Guys and girls who like bi girls
  • Ages 35–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Apr 28
Middle Eastern, White
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Strictly vegan
Not at all
Other, and laughing about it
Sagittarius, and it matters a lot
Graduated from university
Sales / Marketing
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), Sign Language (Poorly), Latin (Poorly), French (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
-----------------------------Step Right Up----------------------------------

Do not ride this wall if you break easily.

If you're searching for that one-of-a-kind gift for your special someone, look no further. Here at Brainey and Pinks, we pride ourselves on offering the best paralyzing mental intercourse in the biz. We have everything you need to fail successfully.

Remember, folks: Torture comes in all shapes and sizes. Come on down and choose your poison. We're having a sale on that, too!

I am a recalled candy bar. Once you get past the half-baked cockroach thirds and chocolate-covered razor blades, I'm alright.

This will result in either a challenge to live just beyond your edge or -- unfortunately -- a loss of hair/teeth and an intense desire to start using heavy[/-ier] drugs. Either way, I make a great ex.

In conclusion, pour some cereal and reminisce, by your non-existent Arizonan fireplace, about the old days when girls knew how to hide their crazy -- either that or move to Tennessee.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Oh, that ol' thing?

Trying to figure out how to deal with public masturbators. Next time I'm going to say, "Hey! You have to ask my permission first! Rude."


-Pretending that magical sprinkles trail from my sneakers (Even mah soles got soul.)
-Walking that fine line between sleeve-heart and "Two can play at that game." My therapist told me that I have "Pinky and the Brain" syndrome.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
...offering you a rope-ladder from my tree-house.

...and using hyphens.

How about "...bad at":

Let's hear from the experts. Dr. Mixalot, take it away.

"She walks a fine line between tactless, middle-aged financial advisor and hyperactive, thumb-sucking girl-next-door."

Bachelor #1: "She was walking circles around me (literally) on our first date and couldn't look me in the eyes."

Ex #3: "The first time that she came to my house, she pulled out a label-maker."

Dr. Mixalot: "Getting her to do something as simple as placing her hands in her lap is an effective tool to having her focus on the conversation. Having her lie down on your couch and asking her probing questions is the best way to bed her."


*huffs on her fingernails and rubs them on her shirt* Yeah, I wear shirts -- and I'm really good at it.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My disarmingly charming, oddly arousing funkadelitude? The light springing forth from my fingertips?

But more likely...

In person: the gap in my teeth
On the phone: my kiddish voice
In traffic: the graffiti on my car and my "dangerous" multi-tasking

*brushes teeth while typing* Lest you fo'get: I'm Mahakali. Hold on to yer skull.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The kinds that mention murder, sex, and other odd behaviors in such a sweet way that you're like, "Wait; what?"

"...ashes on the mantel of the boys who found me just a little too hot to handle."

Current read: The Way of the Superior Man
Don't we all want to be more ... manly?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Harry -- He's all six things.

He carries all my recyclables, lets me use his rear-end as a billboard, and pulls himself together to keep me safe. What more could a hippie ask for than a gas-guzzlin', air-pollutin', leather-steering-wheeled SUV? Not much, I'll tell yuh, except for the freedom to answer rhetorical questions in this beautifully capitalistic, non-Utopian society. *sips some lemon-ahhd and resumes her reclining position in her hammock*

That's right: Homie's got a hammock. *sniffs and thumbs nose*

Things I Could Do Without:

Finding out that you started dating me because you thought that fat girls were nicer. Ha! You lost. *cries*

Probably my frenulum -- I doubt I'd swallow my entire tongue. My uvula might have something to *say* about that. Har har har. My dark Ls would be just a little darker. *Barry White voice* Yeah, babay.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
...what you're thinking about what I just said and whether do-overs or Sliders-type scenerios exist. *crosses fingers*

...why Rhett gave up on Scarlett -- and why he hung in there so long -- depending on how I deem I behaved that day. happy I am that I don't have hot dog burps anymore.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
What's a nice way of putting "making strangers bleed and beg for mercy"?

That's right.

You know Jim from accounting? Yeah, I've hit that.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am a three-sphered onion: many tear-inducing layers of a four-dimensional masterpiece. (Thanks, Donkeh.)

I'm the one reading a self-help book in the corner at that highly inappropriate party.

I'm thinking that fava beans and Chianti don't quite cut it.

On the bright side, here's what I'm looking for in an OKCupid victim -- BAM!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over. magical pants turn you on. Obviously.'ve thoroughly trained to experience a love like mine. wasn't "to blave."'re Gambit and I'm Rogue.


*braces herself* Okay, I'm ready to have my mind blown. Continue.


Oh, year, what have you in store for my dreams? Gigolos in kilts, you say?

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