"Diane, I'm holding in my hand a small box of chocolate bunnies."

I have decided that online dating profiles should be more like tumblr. Rather than having to sit down and try to think of a way to express your personality, you could just post random shit you like on a daily basis, slowly building up a collection that demonstrates multiple facets of who you are. As you change and evolve as a person, so would your profile. It would remain up to date. A mirror of your life, if you will.

"Burning through the sky. Two-hundred degrees that's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit..."

I'm a writer. I just graduated from Arizona State University and I work small jobs and do freelance writing and editing to pay my bills. I spend my excessive free time working on a book I'm writing or staring out of a window looking pensive with a glass of scotch in my hand.

I drink a lot of coffee, play a lot of video games, and spend too much time watching tv shows.

Karaoke.
Making delicious food to your dietary specifications.
Forgetting.
Getting you to tell me all your deepest, darkest secrets.
Coming up with things to say which 300 other people haven't already said to you before me.
Dealing with crazy people.
Losing at chess.
Writing stories.
Asking questions.
Making lists.

My eyes...oh, who are we kidding! My ass of course.

That I talk a lot.

I usually enjoy making lists, but I'll be here forever. So every time I log in I'm going to add one more to each list.

Books: Ender's Game, Lilith, For Whom the Bell Tolls, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Phantastes, The Ghosts of Belfast,

Movies: Star Wars, In Bruges, Reservoir Dogs, Intolerable Cruelty, The Lost Boys, Seven Psychopaths,

TV: Twin Peaks, Arrested Development, Boston Legal, Battlestar Galactica, House, Elementary,

Music: Tom Waits, Arvo Part, Queen, Pink Floyd, The Who, The Police,

Alcoholic Beverages: Gin and Tonic, Whiskey, Hemingways, White Russians, Pinot Noir, Irish Coffee,

Superheroes (+ heroines, villains, villainesses, sidekicks, etc): Phantom X, Deadpool, Batman, Mysterion, Harley Quinn, Word Girl,

Gods: Anubis, Bacchus, Erato, Morrigan, Aphrodite, Death,

Painters: Salvador Dali, Marc Chagall, Caravaggio, Alexander Calder, Auguste Rodin, Kandinsky,

Authors: Hemingway, Wilde, Twain, Poe, Fitzgerald, Hunter S. Thompson,

Places: Paris, the grass under large oak trees, Gold Bar Espresso, Seattle, pillow forts, comfy couches,

Words: Cliche, Troubadour, Embalm, Maudlin, Deranged, Emblematic,

Books, coffee, cigarettes, whiskey, women, secrets.

The stories I should be writing. Going back to Paris. The people in my life I have to take care of. The people in my life I want to take care of. When will the next season of _____ start.

I also over think things. I over analyze. My mind wanders.

But mostly, I'm bored. I have a voracious appetite for engaging conversation and raucous amusement.

On a typical Thursday night I am at my favorite haunt. Singing my face off. I don't have a typical Friday night.

I like bad things. More information available upon inquiry.

You're intrigued. You want to tell me your secrets. You want to read something I've written. You're bored. You're scared. You like going on adventures. You like getting lost. You want someone to talk to about something amazing or something awful. You like coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, and talking about literature. You're interesting. You're beautiful. You like bad things.