ive never done a post before so i dont know where this goes and who sees it...all i know is i hope some people read this. i need to vent alittle bit before i go fucking insain.

have you ever been to a party, or any other type of social event where when you come home you feel more alone than before you went? seems this is this has been my life for the last few years. going to a party possibly having a great time. yet you have no one to reflect on your night with. then go the entire next week without the company oh anyone. im so sick of it, i dont even want to go to partys anymore because its like being taunted 'look at what great friends we are and you cant be appart of it." these friendships are already established and they dont want any new people appart of there live.

i know what ur thinking, damn this dude is socially awkward, or has some confident issues. but the fact is im COMPLETELY the opposite. im the life of the party, interesting, funny, fun, im great at making people feel good, and i love meeting new people and am very confident talking to people i dont know yet. but somehow i have nothing to show for it. even when things start picking up i end up alone again. i dont have people to go out to eat with or go to a movie unless withs with my parents.

i have some ideas on why things have ended up like this. im lazy and sometimes lack the effort to call people. i am currently not working and its insain how many people you get to know when you are working. oh and probably worst of all is im scared... scared to just take off and fly. i know my potential is great for complete bliss in life, yet i keep pulling myself back on the ground as i feel i start to fly.

im not gonna put all the blame on myself though. i feel if i had atleast one real friend/ or a girlfriend, ide start to have the drive to do things. im a leo and leos lke to take care there friends and ide do everything in my power to make them happy. but im alone, AND THIS FUCKING SUCKS! i just feel like crying.

i feel mature behond my age, im 100% real, very honest, and have high standards. these could be reasons why i dont have alot of people in my life. maybe i just need to move to a bigger city. all i know is that people are always telling me how awesome and funny i am...yet i have nothing to show for it.

ide love to hear some advice if you have some. or if you are in the same boat as me and you feel as alone as i am contact me. i wanna be here for you, i want to be ur friend i dont care if you live on the other side of the country. wow, that felt pretty good letting out. i hope to see some comments:)