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BagpipeLullaby

28 M Los Angeles, CA

I’m looking for

  • Everybody
  • Ages 18–99
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Entertainment / Media
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), French (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
And now, a story:

The night I posed for the above picture, I was at a drag show. Eventually, I forgot I was wearing makeup and mounted my bike to hurry home, since I was dog-sitting that weekend and didn't want the pups to starve and turn on each other, or discover gambling, or get each other teen pregnant. During the ride, I turned a corner and accidentally ramped over a raised section of the pavement, which caused me to wipe out in front of a confused pedestrian in a Doctor Who T-shirt. While in midair, I invented a new swear word: "frulk," which is to date my most significant contribution to the English lexicon. The fellow Whovian helped me up, no doubt baffled to have narrowly avoided being flattened by the Insane Clown Posse reject rolling around on the pavement in front of him. We each checked to see if the other was all right, and, noticing his Who shirt, I simply beamed and belted out a jolly "Fantastic!" before immediately mounting my bike and pedaling off into the night, bellowing "Geronimoooooooooo!" back over my shoulder. The whole thing took about seven seconds.

So that's me: a scatterbrained, swearing, clumsy, nerdy, jolly, out-of-control man-clown. Pleased to frulking meet you.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Well, according to OKC's progress bar over there, I am officially done with my profile. Now that I've achieved self-actualization, maybe I'll buy a sailboat or a peace lily or something.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Talking really fast. Observe: Red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather, red reather, lellow yeather, yerd realler, leyow yearth- damn it!

If you ask me to, I will write a limerick with your name in it.

(Fun fact: someone once asked me if the "red leather, yellow leather" bit was a "piss and fisting thing." And THAT'S how I learned about handkerchief code!)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I fall down a lot. A good example: I recently wiped out after high-fiving a low hanging branch with my face while riding my bike, so I had a shiner and a scratch across my hairline that looked like I was the victim of an aborted scalping. I'm very active and fairly clumsy, so this kind of stuff happens from time to time. I'm pretty sure my coworkers think I'm in a fight club.

More generally, though: tall (forever cursed to see the filthy tops of all refrigerators) and blonde (forever cursed with invisible facial hair). Weirdest first impression I ever got was "cream puff" because of my roundish facial structure, my "bramble of curls" haircut, and my fair complexion.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Bioshock Infinite is my new favorite thing.

For this, I'll just list what I'm into most recently, followed by one or two of my favorites for a good idea of my tastes.

TV:
-Now: Orange is the New Black
-Favorites: Firefly, Doctor Who, Arrested Development, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace

Comics (Non-superhero, or we'll be here all day):
-Now: Just finished Sandman (I know, I'm behind)
-Favorites: A Tale of Sand, Watchmen

Books:
-Now: The King in Yellow, Sherlock Holmes novellas, The Oresteia.
-Favorites: A Confederacy of Dunces, The Yiddish Policeman's Union, Bleak House, American Gods, The Posthumous Memoirs of Bras Cubas, The Long Boats by Frans G. Bengtsson. Viking battles and feudal politics. Fantastic.

Poetry:
Pointy Birds, oh pointy-pointy;
Anoint my head, anointy-nointy.

Movies:
-Now: Most recently: Frozen, Wolf of Wall Street, Pacific Rim. See it. It is a glorious orchestra of titanic violence and mildly significant footwear.
-Favorites: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Basterds, Bridge On the River Kwai, Death Becomes Her, Raiders

Food. ...Oh, I was done. Just, you know... food.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Instead of providing a broader answer, I'm going to pretend this is an unfinished sentence and fill in the last word myself.

For now, the six things I could never do without pants:

1. MC Hammer costume.
2. Survive a blizzard.
3. Store food for winter (in case of blizzard).
4. Smuggle illegal wildlife.
5. Family friendly can-can.
6. Be fancy/smarty/bossy/a liar.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
"Attaching emotional value to things that don't exist is the joy of art — and the definition of insanity."
-Ken Levine

Whither have the singers gone?
I want my Aretha back.
'Cos One D sound like eunuchs
With bamboo in their urethral tracts.

All of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iAUwamHTM4

At this very moment, I am thinking about infrasound. I want to find a space that's "haunted" with infrasound and experience the ghostly hallucinations for myself. For some reason, I enjoy creeping myself out - I was the only kid in my neighborhood to win "Bloody Mary."

Also, time travel paradoxes! An example: In Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, George Carlin's character, Rufus, never says his own name. We instead get a closed loop scenario in which future Ted tells his past self, "Trust this guy Rufus." So where did that information come from?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
"Adventure is a dish that is best eaten takeout, in the comfort of one's own home." - Michael Chabon

Ambivalence is the inner curse of the amicable introvert. I love my friends, and I love the crazy stuff they invite me to/make me do, but I'm also just as likely to become a human burrito of comforters and blankets and watch a Sherlock.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I once wrote a song for a burlesque. It was a parody of "Master of the House" from Les Mis from the point of view of a dominatrix: "Mistress of the House."

I'm a little bi-FURIOUS.

I am easier than an open-book spelling test.*

Even after moving to L.A., my favorite celebrity encounter is still the time I had a catch with Tommy Wiseau. He says I throw too hard.

Sometimes I read textbooks for fun.

And I hate to admit it, but disregarding iconography or "cool factor" and judging solely in terms of efficacy and design, the Millennium Falcon is one of the worst ships in all of science fiction.

*he jested.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
The following are required:

-Human DNA (tests will be administered, please provide your own blood samples*)
-Strict adherence to Wheaton's Law ("Don't be a dick.")

And that'll about do it!

*If you are an artificial intelligence that has been transplanted from a human body into a machine, a birth certificate will suffice. ...Wait, what am I talking about? All robots welcome!

P.S. Please forgive my excessive use of parenthetical statements (for which I deeply apologize).