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30 M Lyndhurst, NJ

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–33
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Native American, White
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Likes dogs
English, Spanish, French, C++, Sign Language

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Due to the new “Truth in Advertising Act”, this profile is now updated to meet the “brutally honest” guidelines (THANKS OBAMA!).

Mildly flawed 30 year old man, chubby, bald, hairy everywhere else. It’s like after 18 years old, my hair migrated from my head to everywhere else! I don’t dance, I hate clubs, I cannot stand crowds/lines/loud environments. Outgoing (well-adjusted) introvert.

I fight this duality between being hopefully optimistic and painfully pessimistic. Plan for the worst, hope for the best ring a bell?

I love cooking. I hate to clean, but love a clean environment. I find sports about as foreign of a topic as World of Warcraft — the Yankees are going to use their Level 7 dragon master’s ice spell on Tiger Wood? Gotcha!

I rarely drink, but enjoy a tasty craft beer. I like the concept of being drunk, but hate what it does both short and long term. I also cannot stand the obnoxiousness of drunk people. I avoid smoking & smoke filled environments with extreme prejudice.

Stable. Dedicated. Professional job that’s not at a desk. Decent routine, though it’s always a game of tug-of-war with work. I have fairly technical hobbies and personal interests, and even things like photography and cooking I approach with a methodical mindset. That annoys the living hell out of…well, a lot of people. That…actually doesn’t bother me.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
University educated, professional in a technical field, talks about poop and farting a lot. And your mom. She's hot.

Successful, but sometimes feels like a failure. Clearly minor self-worth, confidence, and anxiety issues are there, but who doesn’t have these?

Jokes about taking over the world. Secretly hopes that if he has the chance, he does it well and better than the existing regimes. Also he’s a pro at talking about himself in the third person.

I also screw around on the internet for far longer than I should.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Being lazy. I'm a pragmatist and an engineer. I hate doing unneeded work/rework/repeated work. So I make things efficient, which allows me to spend time on the things that matter.

Mario Kart & Tetris.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Physically: baldness, chubby exterior, blue-green eyes.

Emotionally: I make an effort to relax and go with the flow, but most days I’m stressed as fuck.

Lifestyle: I’m hyper organized, but I still feel everything is falling apart around me. Which pushes me even further.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
You probably won’t message me, but hopefully you got a chuckle out of all this. The validation that strangers give on the internet feels kinda nice.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Wondering why people have attachment issues. Is the server down for maintenance again?

Look for the paperclip icon at the top of the screen. Click that and then choose Browse... Then just pick the file you want and click "Attach selected." Send email. Done.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Since we are single at this age, we are both damaged people. Tell me where you are broken, and I’ll tell you where I am broken.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you have much lower standards than mine.

You could do worse, and the bar gets lower and lower every year.

You hate the same things as me.